BM not participating

mlhelmke1 · March 2010

Ok. Readers digest version. I have 5 BMs and the wedding is in 4 months. Everything else is planned, booked ect except for the girls dresses. I have contacted 4 of them about getting together. The fifth one is not really getting back to me. I keep getting the text " I'm busy. I'll call you tomorrow" and then not getting a call. I don't want to be a bridezilla but I am starting to get annoyed. I also know that it's a big no no to ditch someone after you have asked them to be in your wedding (although it's starting to look more woth it everyday!) I have been trying to contact her for about three weeks. Any suggestions?

SarahPLiz · March 2010

Find out the absolute last day for her to order the dress. Tell her that date, and then leave it alone. It is very possible that she is really busy, and that your wedding is not a priority to her at this time in her life, and that's perfectly ok.

ETA: If she doesnt' want to go shop, then send her some options from what you find on the shopping trip with the others. OR pick out a color and a designer and tell her to go order her own when its convenient.

gottahavashorti · March 2010

Plan a shopping trip, and if the 5th BM doesn't go it's no big deal. Ask for her budget and if you want matching BM dresses, let her know ahead of time so that she can have a say if she wants. Other than that, just give her any info she needs to order a dress - dress requirements (if you're giving guidelines and letting them pick), final order date, etd.

mbcdefg · March 2010

Ditto above.

Also, when you've contacted her, have you only asked her to go dress shopping? Maybe try a phone call or e-mail just asking her to hang out or asking her about her life, and see if that makes her come around.

Another idea, if you haven't done it already, would be to ask her (and all the other BMs) about their dress budgets before you go shopping. Ask each girl privately, so she can be honest with you and not pressured or embarrassed in front of the others. Maybe this girl is afraid that she won't be able to afford what the other girls can spend ... if you know all their budgets ahead of time, you can set a limit that you are sure everyone can afford.

jagore08 · March 2010

I agree with Sarah. Find out when the last possible date to order is and let her know. Whether or not she gets the dress your problem will be solved. If she gets it no worries. If she doesn't then she's taking herself out of the bridal party.

Also, I would ask if everything is going okay in her life. She might be having personal or financial difficulties. It would be nice if you could give her some support if she needs it. Just a thought.

jagore08 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-not-participating?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:0ee80e22-ed3d-4c19-a247-71f6af91e645Post:42231299-c4d7-4480-b328-af7b0a332083">BM not participating</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok. Readers digest version. I have 5 BMs and the wedding is in 4 months. Everything else is planned, booked ect except for the girls dresses. I have contacted 4 of them about getting together. The fifth one is not really getting back to me. I keep getting the text " I'm busy. I'll call you tomorrow" and then not getting a call. I don't want to be a bridezilla but I am starting to get annoyed. I also know that it's a big no no to ditch someone after you have asked them to be in your wedding (although it's starting to look more woth it everyday!) I have been trying to contact her for about three weeks. Any suggestions?
Posted by mlhelmke1@juno.com[/QUOTE]

BM not participating

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