July 2013 Weddings

Inviting an Ex...

I know most of you are going WTF?! But her family is some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. And we have been really cordial. Like we go to birthday parties and baby showers that they throw and from time to time we even do dinner. But when we changed our relationship status on Facebook she sent me a text saying Guess congratulations are in order... I know that doesn't sound bad but I know the look she had and the sound of her voice as if she said it out loud. So my question is how to tell her to stop without being rude/too blunt.

Re: Inviting an Ex...

  • Well, for starters, what's with the title of this post? Are you considering inviting her or not?
    If you are, it's definitely something you have to discuss with your FI -- are they ok with you inviting your ex? It's important to be very sensitive to their answer.

    As far as handling your ex and keeping her from being rude, just don't talk to her about wedding-related stuff. If she continues to be rude even when you don't talk about that stuff, then she has some weird personal issue that you have no control over that she just needs work out on her own.

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  • Based solely on the little bits of information in your post and the fact that she is your ex, I would definitely say no, do not invite her. It doesn't matter how amazing her family is - she's your ex, and you are marrying your FI to become a part of your FI's family... your ex's family has no place in that equation. Being "really cordial" with your ex doesn't mean jack. All it means is that you two are mature enough to be polite and civil and occupy the same space, which is expected of two grown adults in any given situation. Also, her text was very passive-aggressive and weird... if she were truly happy for you, she would have texted you something along the lines of "congratulations, that's awesome news, I'm so happy for you", etc. etc. NOT "I guess I should congratulate you." IMO exes should not be a part of your wedding day.

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  • I agree, I would speak to FI about this one.

    On the other hand, we are seriously contemplating having FI's ex BIL be the one who marry's us. We love him. He is great and funny and a blast to be around. Plus, he is nothing like FI's ex, lol. So, I guess its all comfort level. Just make sure even if FI OK's it, ex will not cause issues or a scene at the wedding...

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    151 invitedimage [ Invited]
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     73 declinedimage [ Are Party Poopers]
     0 unknownimage [ Can't Find the Mailbox]
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  • Don't do it. Maybe you feel like you've got complete and total closure from your relationship, but she might not. Your FI might say it's fine but if it's even a little bit not fine...do you really want to risk hurting FI's feelings?
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  • I am so sorry. Ugh. I hate it when my mind switches tracks like that. The original post was supposed to be abt inviting the ex gf and it turned into me ranting about having to tell her to suck a sick one. I do that a lot. Blah. Lol. OAN I talked to the FI last night abt the whole thing and he said he has no problem with telling her to get bent. Sorry abt the confusion ladies/gents.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_inviting-an-ex?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:37a0b988-5ebd-49a7-8a80-6a613b66aa4bPost:c4fb993d-ed7f-4044-bf41-d4e7498fe0e5">Re:Inviting an Ex...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am so sorry. Ugh. I hate it when my mind switches tracks like that. The original post was supposed to be abt inviting the ex gf and it turned into me ranting about having to tell her to suck a sick one. I do that a lot. Blah. Lol. OAN I talked to the FI last night abt the whole thing and he said he has no problem with telling her to get bent. Sorry abt the confusion ladies/gents.
    Posted by LnL60810[/QUOTE]

    I just realized that you were talking about inviting your FI's ex, not YOUR ex! Then more so, my answer is hellllllll no. LOL.
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  • In Response to Re:Inviting an Ex...:[QUOTE]I just realized that you were talking about inviting your FI's ex, not YOUR ex! Then more so, my answer is hellllllll no. LOL. Posted by ChelsJimmy[/QUOTE]

    DITTO. LOL!!
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  • I agree with Chels&Jimmy, Heck no!!  And also in the words of Miss Quela.. AGAIN "You feel like you've got complete and total closure from your relationship, but she might not. And that's something she needs to get past and move on PERIOD! I had a similar situation like that and it blew up.. So no.. she does not need to be invited. She quoted what she had to say..End of Story!! :)
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