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Invitees

KalithiaKalithia member
First Comment
in Gay Weddings
Would I be wrong to dis invite people who I know don't agree with same sex marriage but yet are supportative of us?  I feel really bad because I loved some of these people and to hear them say it really hurt.  In addition, they are members of my fiancee's family.  I already dis invited my dad because he claimed to be Muslim and his "Preacher" told him not to take part in our event.  I'm getting really pissed and discourage and thinking of just running off to elope and taking whatever lost i have!
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Re: Invitees

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would voice your concern with your fiancee because they are her family if she wants them there what can you do?
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    K&J64K&J64 member
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    edited December 2011
    Once an invitation has been made you cannot "dis-invite". If people are coming to support you, be happy to have them as guests. I pretty much assume anyone attending my wedding doesn't have that much of an issue with same-sex marriage or they wouldn't come. If someone is on the fence, maybe witnessing your event will make them see that it's no different than a heterosexual couple being married, and change some minds.

    But that's just my two cents.

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    chrmunchrmun member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm with kcullen.  It's kind of a wierd thing.  I've got people in my family who are "opposed to gay marriage" but wouldn't miss mine for the world.  (Ohhhkaayyy.) 
    The only caveat is that I would make it clear that we are coming together for a celebration of love.  Period.  I'm sure I'll come up with some really awesome passive-aggressive way of saying it.  Except to my brother.  To him I'll probably say something like, "Look, either you're down or you're not.  If you come to my wedding, I want nothing but sunshine outta you.  If you think you're gonna get all Baptist on me, keep it at home."
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    aabrown2289aabrown2289
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am glad you posted this. I am having that problem as well! We actually invited people that seemed ok with our relationship but they just had their wedding a couple weeks ago and didn't invite us because they didn't want gay people at their wedding. How do you go about it? It's like "Here's your invite... 2 weeks later.. Just Kidding!" 

    Hard topic! 
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    KalithiaKalithia member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's a really hard topic for me!  I feel like my day is going to get ruin cause some people are just that stupid (especially hers).  They may not agree with it and still show up just to make a point; a point I don't to hear now nor then!  I considering canceling the whole thing and just sticking with our Boston trip for the legal stuff.  I may lose a few deposits but it would be worth my piece of mind for my day!  I'm sure someone in provencetown, ma can put some extra small together for us!  For now, planning is on hold.  Premarital counseling was not nice today!
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    nicknuttncnicknuttnc member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think you can dis-invite people who will not agree with your happiness. It is your day and you deserve to be happy. You can do whatever you want to do it is your wedding. Just do it in a tasteful way....
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    daisywithakdaisywithak member
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    edited December 2011
    It's a touchy subject.  My parents don't agree with same-sex marriage but my mom said that she'd be there because it's me.  I had to tell her that I would be ok if she didn't come because I want people there that love and support me and want to be there.  As far as uninviting people, you're really not supposed to etiquette wise.  That being said, only you know if they're going to cause a problem. I would assume that if they say they're coming they will behave unless you have a reason to believe otherwise.  If you honestly think they're going to say or do something to try and ruin your day then  you should uninvite them (as nicely as possible). 
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    K&J64K&J64 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_gay-weddings_invitees?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:44Discussion:859f2020-f959-4206-ba9f-334103967946Post:f1234134-834d-47b3-b24e-d24f5074e972">Re: Invitees</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you can dis-invite people who will not agree with your happiness. It is your day and you deserve to be happy. You can do whatever you want to do it is your wedding. Just do it in a tasteful way....
    Posted by nicknuttnc[/QUOTE]

    I totally disagree with this. Etiquette still applies to same sex weddings.

    Most adults, regardless of their feelings on the subject, will sit there in silence and not cause a scene. If you have some adults in your circle that like to behave like animals or children then talk to others close to them and ask them to babysit them for the day (assuming they even accept your invitation). One thing you CAN do, is if anyone is anything other than pleasant that day, have someone else ask them to leave.

    I've told my FI from day one that I will personally escort her grandmother out of the reception if she makes so much as one snide remark. I will not allow anyone to upset her on our wedding day, I don't care who they are. People who behave in an manner unbecoming to an adult at a formal affair will be asked to leave, period.

    I think you're not giving people enough credit, weddings can actually bring out the best in people.

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    KalithiaKalithia member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OK, we have decided to go through with the wedding and we are are going to talk to her brother and ask him to be have or not come at all.  She really want hims there so I can be respectful of that but as soon as he gets out of line once I ask him to leave it's a done deal!  Invitee crisis solved. Thanks for the advice guys.
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    terri90terri90 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have ppl like that on my side of the family and some of the ppl I thought were my friends stopped talkin to me when they found out I was gay. Its sad to say that we will be having a very small wedding because I dont know if I want to invite half of my family. I know they will show up but its the fact about them really being there to support not only me but my partner too. Her side of the family has no problem with the way she is living her life but its sad when I cant say the same about mine. I dont even know if I will be inviting my own parents. Im so confused because I want everybody there. I know for a fact that my 2 sisters will be there cause they had supported my decision since day 1.
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