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Moving Overseas

nickstevie108nickstevie108
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance and I are moving overseas (military) before our wedding (which is in the states).  Although we need/want many typical registry items, we just can't take gifts back with us after the wedding/honeymoon, due to size of home, electric differences, shipping fees etc., plus we will be there for 3 years. Should we just ask for cash and not register at all? What is the best way to express this to our guests?  

Thanks!
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Re: Moving Overseas

  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    It is never ok to ask for gifts.  As far hinting that you prefer cash, not registering might get the point across.  The only way to tell guests that you prefer cash is through word of mouth, and even then it needs to be worded tactfully.  Something like "they haven't registered, but they're saving up for X" is fine.  It is not ok for you to say anything unless asked, though.  Your family and friends can also answer this question (and likely will have to; many times people ask the parents or WP where the B&G are registered).
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  • emeejeeayenemeejeeayen member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Can you just register for like sheets and towels and soft things/light? 
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    We were in the same boat.

    We registered for about 50 items at BB&B.   They ship to military APO addresses (which you will have when you get to your overseas base), and it costs the same ammount as shipping domestically (because it's essentially a US address).     The majority of guests had stuff shipped straight to the APO address, and a few brought gifts to the wedding.   Those we just packed up and shipped to ourselves using USPS flat-rate boxes (which you get a discount on when you ship to APO).

    As for current differences, you SHOULD be given a few electrical transformers for your home.  We got two, then bought a few more used ones.  The kitchen electrical stuff we registered for (cuisnart griddler, food processor, etc) were all occasional use items, so we just unplug our toaster from the transformer when we want to use them.   It's NBD really.

    Honestly, I think you're overthinking this.   If you register for the few things you need at a store that ships to APO addresses, then you'll be just fine.   BB&B do (some store clerks don't know what APO is and they say they don't, but they DO, I promise), Target does but they have a crummy registry, and perhaps stores like C&B or Pottery Barn but I didn't check those.
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  • JaneAustensGhostJaneAustensGhost member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer First Comment
    Do not ever ask for cash.

    Maybe ask for small household items, or items that need to be upgraded?

    I am moving to England in April.  I am selling a lot of my stuff and will arrive in London with almost nothing.  So we will need a lot of new things, thus we're registering for things in England, and things that can be shipped to England.  

    Maybe register at an English shop?  Marks & Spencer has a "wish list" you can use.    Maybe just some towels or sheets would be welcomed?

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  • JaneAustensGhostJaneAustensGhost member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer First Comment
    Do not ever ask for cash.

    Maybe ask for small household items, or items that need to be upgraded?

    I am moving to England in April.  I am selling a lot of my stuff and will arrive in London with almost nothing.  So we will need a lot of new things, thus we're registering for things in England, and things that can be shipped to England.  

    Maybe register at an English shop?  Marks & Spencer has a "wish list" you can use.    Maybe just some towels or sheets would be welcomed?

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No.  Don't ask for cash.  That really gets backs up.

    For one thing, while it is polite to register, it is not polite to directly ask, for any gift, including cash, in advance.  For another, many people don't like to give cash as gifts.

    That said, I can understand that it is burdensome to have to ship gifts overseas.  Another poster might know:  Is it possible to register anywhere that allows persons in one country to order gifts and have them delivered to an overseas address?
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  • lodonnell616lodonnell616 member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    I'm overseas, in Germany.  It really depends if you're moving to an english speaking country or not, but registering on Amazon in your new lcoation could also work.

    Just be careful, while many us companies now ship abroad you may run into high shipping costs and customs.  Neither of which is nice to end up having to pay extra for...and in the case of customs, it may be you as the recipient who has to foot that bill.

    Also, while you definitely shouldn't "ask" for cash, its perfectly fine not to register too.  That's not so clear in some of the posts above...

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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Don't ask for anything. Either register at a store that ships to APO addresses or don't register at all. I find people here tend to be VERY pro registering, but it's really not necessary. However, nothing guarantees people won't buy you physical items anyway - either from a registry or on their own. Etiquette dictates that gifts be shipped before the wedding (especially knowing you live overseas), but again, there are no guarantees.
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  • zantsterzantster member
    First Comment First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_moving-overseas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd09ff0e-a218-4931-bdeb-a2ef66e24794Post:3dcc39e1-9bde-4af6-a1e1-edb13388674e">Moving Overseas</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are moving overseas (military) before our wedding (which is in the states).  Although we need/want many typical registry items, we just can't take gifts back with us after the wedding/honeymoon, due to size of home, electric differences, shipping fees etc., plus we will be there for 3 years. Should we just ask for cash and not register at all? What is the best way to express this to our guests?   Thanks!
    Posted by nickstevie108[/QUOTE]
    You might want to also post this question on the Mlitary Brides board under Special Topic Wedding Boards on this site.  I am sure they could give you loads of advice that is just right for  your situation.
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