Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion

What would you do?

ajabowajabow member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Hi ladies,
I have a situation and need some help!
When I was younger I was best friends with my cousin and we promised that we would be each other's MOH in our weddings. However, I haven't been close to her in two years. We talk on occasion, but not like we use to. I haven't even talked to her in about five months (and not without me trying to). I'm not sure whether to ask her or have someone else be my MOH. If I don't ask her, however, I'm not sure who else I would ask because I don't really have a "best friend" other than my mom and FI.
I don't know if I want her as my MOH, but I'm also afraid I'm going to hurt her feelings by not asking when we promised each other. 
I know you ladies are very insightful, so maybe you can give me options I never even thought of! 
Wedding Countdown Ticker Photobucket
Report Reply to Post

Re: What would you do?

  • jagore08jagore08 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    If she's not your MOH would she be a BM?  You don't have to have a MOH.  You can have BM or no BM.  If your mom really is your best friend, why not ask her?  There are no rules for wedding parties.  
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • JoshLovesJekkaJoshLovesJekka
    First Comment
    edited February 2012

    My best friend and I promised we'd name our kids after each other when I was 8 or 9. I'd feel bad naming my girls Douglas and he's gay, with no desire for children now. Childhood promises can be broken as long as there's no harmful intent.

    Report Reply
  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    You aren't getting married until July 2013.  You have almost a year before you should even start thinking about your WP.  For the love of all that is holy, don't discuss WP plans with anyone.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
    Report Reply
  • ajabowajabow member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:5692b97f-301a-402a-a40b-2001b6236240Post:94a44045-43ca-4126-8685-cb8d27d0e255">Re: What would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If she's not your MOH would she be a BM?  You don't have to have a MOH.  You can have BM or no BM.  If your mom really is your best friend, why not ask her?  There are no rules for wedding parties.  
    Posted by jagore08[/QUOTE]
     <div>I never really thought of it that way. I just assumed I HAD TO HAVE  a MOH since most people do. We are planning to have two BM and two GM and I have already asked one of our girlfriends to be a BM, and FI pretty much told me that both of his GM will be "bestmen", since both are very close. I could also make it even with my BM. Thanks for your advice. </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • ajabowajabow member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:5692b97f-301a-402a-a40b-2001b6236240Post:eb125e56-f305-471c-9d9a-655f3798c72d">Re: What would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You aren't getting married until July 2013.  You have almost a year before you should even start thinking about your WP.  For the love of all that is holy, don't discuss WP plans with anyone.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    <div>My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all. I know I should just wait a while, I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not. And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! </div><div>
    </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker Photobucket
    Report Reply
  • staceycainestaceycaine member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:5692b97f-301a-402a-a40b-2001b6236240Post:9973819f-ff82-4bf1-9e10-29f8e4e05189">Re: What would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all. I know I should just wait a while, <strong>I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not. </strong>And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! 
    Posted by Amber13000[/QUOTE]

    This is WHY you wait.
    image
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Definitely wait until about at least 8 months before your wedding to pick any bridal party.  Friendships change, for better and worse, and there's nothing she'd need to do in the interrim anyway.

    image

    Anniversary

    Report Reply
  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:5692b97f-301a-402a-a40b-2001b6236240Post:9973819f-ff82-4bf1-9e10-29f8e4e05189">Re: What would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all.<strong> I know I should just wait a while, I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not.</strong> And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! 
    Posted by Amber13000[/QUOTE]

    This makes as much sense as getting married TODAY because you don't know if you love him.
    image
    AKA GoodLuckBear14
    Report Reply
  • blues28blues28 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    Well you don't need a MOH. 
    Can your cousin be your bridesmaid,  and since you mentioned that your FI and mother are your 2 best friends have your mother as your MOH?
    imageimage
    Report Reply
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    How about this option...don't have a MOH!

    Report Reply
  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited February 2012
    If you're only planning on two attendants anyway, it seems especially weird to me make one the MOH and the other a BM - it just seems like a completely unnecessary distinction.  It wouldn't necessarily be wrong to do if you had a particularly close relationship with one person versus the other, but if you're equally close to both people anyway, there's no need for arbitrary distinctions.

    Oh, and ditto what everyone else said about waiting.  DON'T PICK YOUR BRIDAL PARTY NOW.
    imagemy to-read shelf:
    Steph's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (to-read shelf)
    Report Reply
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:5692b97f-301a-402a-a40b-2001b6236240Post:9973819f-ff82-4bf1-9e10-29f8e4e05189">Re: What would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : My mom said it's WAY early too! lols! I'm just excited, that's all. I know I should just wait a while, <strong>I'm just afraid if I wait too too long I won't be sure if I want her as MOH or not. </strong>And if not, who am I going to pick. I guess it's because FI has his guys all figured out and I'm not even sure if the person I thought was going to be my MOH all these years is the best choice for me! 
    Posted by Amber13000[/QUOTE]

    This statement just tells you that your cousin should not be your MOH.  Go through and read some of the Wedding Party board posts where the bride's MOH & her used to be so close, so she just HAD to ask her.  And now the MOH, isn't "living up to her role" and they barely talk, etc. 

    It is too early to pick your WP.  Just wait it out for and see how your relationship with your cousin continues.  If you continue to drift apart, it's clear she is not to be your MOH.  Your WP should be your nearest and dearest and as of right now, it doesn't seem that you cousin falls into that category.
    Report Reply
  • janeashjaneash
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:5692b97f-301a-402a-a40b-2001b6236240Post:82c7227b-569f-4ebb-a2c7-46079d8f2b26">Re: What would you do?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well you don't need a MOH.  Can your cousin be your bridesmaid,  and since you mentioned that your FI and mother are your 2 best friends have your mother as your MOH?
    Posted by blues28[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is what I am doing.  I definitely don't have any friends that would do nearly as good a job as MOH as my mom!</div>

    June 2012 August Siggy Challenge: Favourite Pro Pic (I couldn't choose just one!)
    imageDaisypath Vacation tickers Daisypath Vacation tickers Follow Me on Pinterest
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards