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Indian wedding - bridal party?

Priya490Priya490
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in South Asian Weddings
Are you having or did you have a bridal party for your wedding?  I always thought I would have one and of course would love to have all of my best friends in my wedding.  But after talking with my fiance, I'm not so sure if we should have one anymore. 

FI doesn't have a strong preference but he doesn't really want to ask his friends to perform any small 'duties' during the wedding.  He just wants them to all come and have fun (which of couse I want for my friends too).  Plus, I'm not sure how I would integrate everyone into the ceremony.  And I wouldn't want all of the logistics to be too stressful or inconvenient for them.  Most of our bridal party would be non-Indian so they would all need to get measured for the Indianwear for the ceremony.  For the reception, I'd tell them that they could wear whatever they want but the thought of everyone changing into Western clothes and getting ready for the reception during the cocktail hour might not be enough time for everyone.

What did you do?  Thanks in advance for any thoughts/opinions!
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Re: Indian wedding - bridal party?

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    DFWIndianDFWIndian
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    edited December 2011
    I have a wedding party. 4 family members 4 friends. I love all of them and they aren't doing things at the wedding besides standing there with me while I say my vows. They planned a Bridal Shower and Bachellorete party but that was their idea. I have a few who didn't have blouses already and I just took their measurements to India and made the blouses. It wasn't hard at all. Good Luck!
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    temurlangtemurlang member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    So, yes, I did have a MOH (no other BMs), and here's how it went:

    -  I'm American/Christian, and in my community having just a MOH is the norm, so of course I wanted to do that.  In a Christian ceremony you really do need someone to stand there.  In our Hindu ceremony, however, that wasn't necessary. 

    -  Naturally, my MOH was a very close friend, and she asked if she could be MOH.  She then proceeded to ditch my other friend in planning the bridal shower, not by a dress, and was pretty much useless during the wedding.

    -  I became worried that my MOH wasn't reliable and asked two other friends, but they said no (one was pregnant and actually delivered early and the other didn't want to wear a dress or stand at the alter out of nerves).  However, it was those two friends who ended up actually helping with the wedding.

    -  So basically, it was a lot of pain having a MOH, and any close friend can and will help you out.  I would not have an official BP, but just ask your close friends if they can/want to do certain things in the ceremony.  I would also offer them to wear what they feel comfortable with.  My MOH wore a dress and my other friend wore a sari.  The pictures with both are nicer because they are dressed differently in what suits them.  A lot of non-Desis will be psyched to wear a sari, but some might not want to buy something they won't wear again.

    -  Having everyone change could be a pain, but putting a dress on is a lot faster than a sari, and they would already have their hair and makeup done.
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    MrsBMMrsBM member
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    edited December 2011
    Hi!

    I had a traditional indian wedding but with a western touch.  I had 3 bridesmaids (+ my MOH...my little sister) and my hubby had 3 grooms men (+ his best man...his older brother)

    We also had a flower girl and ring boy.

    The grooms men and Best man walked in before hubby and his parents...

    My BMs, ring boy and flower girl walked in before me and my parents.

    Because in the Hindu ceremony there is a puja done with the brides parents and the groom before the bride enters, we decided to have the bridal party walk in seperately...but it turned out to be very nice.  All the bridal parties members didn't have specific jobs but everyone pitched in and helped.  Ofcourse they all were very happy to be part of our day and felt very special to be walking up the aisle to the mandap hehe!

    Happy planning!
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    raangoliraangoli
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We opted to not have a bridal party, even though we were trying to fuse together Hindu and "American" wedding traditions. I kind of felt the same way as you, what would I ask them to do? And I realized it is another expense for my friends during a tough time in the economy. We just wanted our friends to come and have fun, it would be the first and possibly only Indian wedding they would go to, so we wanted them to enjoy it and take it in.

    We did have a flower girl (my niece) and ring bearers (my husband's nephews) though, but they are very dear to us both, so that was something we wanted.

    Ultimately is it up to you and what you're comfortable with doing. My husband and I are laid back people, who prefer when things are simple and not having a bridal party was right in line with that.

    If you absolutely want your friends to be a part of your day as a part of a bridal party, then perhaps what Temurlang did, asking her friends to wear what they are comfortable with in a particular color is the way to go.
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    Rainbow17Rainbow17 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not having a bridal party... mostly because I hear its a pain in the ass.  I've read too many horror stories on the knot. 
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    andamuandamu
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    edited December 2011
    We're having a bridal party - two girlfriends for me, two guys for FI (my brother/his brother).

    A couple of things - I'm wearing a bridal gown, and so I think I'm going to have my BMs wear churidars and heels, so it feels like a dress and they don't feel uncomfortable or need to change (wearing a sari or even a choli is hard to get accustomed to, and I should know).  But it will look Indian-influenced.

    We're having a Christian-style wedding (less the religious element), so they will walk down the aisle and have bouquets and all.  Other than showing up, they don't have any other jobs.

    We're buying my BMs' dresses because they're both grad students and traveling will be a significant expense, and we're a working couple, and yeah.  It feels right.

    I have a third close friend who I thought about asking to be a BM, but instead I'm asking her to fast and sit with the family for the puja the day after (I don't know what it's called) because she's Jain and I think both of us would find that personally meaningful.
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    AquarianDragonAquarianDragon
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    edited December 2011
    I'm not having a bridal party, per se... I have an idea to have my sister and two of my friends (one from high school, one from college) escort me down. Still contemplating...
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    mkarmagroupmkarmagroup member
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    edited December 2011
    I think the majority of indian brides today (especially in the north east) have a bridal party.  I did and all my friends have and eaxh wedding I attend or provide makeup services for, they tend to have a bridal party in the 6-12 people range (inclusive of both sides).


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    kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I didn't have a bridal party, just with logistics, it was much more fun to have my friends as part of the guests and the helped a lot with preparations with my family and relatives.



    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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