Illinois-Chicago

A bit bummed.

I booked our officiant last summer, well over a year in advance.  I found a person I liked very much personality-wise, that seemed to make personalized, secular ceremonies.  I've been so excited about meeting up with her over the summer so it wouldn't be some stranger marrying us.  I was also happy it was a woman and that her company does civil union ceremonies...not everyone does and gay rights is an important topic to me.

This weekend I got a phone call from the officiant that her daughter's best friend is now engaged, and getting married the same day as me in November.  That she could still do my wedding if I said so, but she was hoping she could do that girl's instead and give me a fill-in from her company.  The fill-in is a man and I didn't CHOOSE him, you know?  I have to make do with what I was given and I didn't sign up for him.

I told her of course to do the daughter's friend's wedding, because what else would I say? I don't want to burn bridges and bitch at her about it, because what if I can't find somebody in the six months I have left that I like?  And really why would I want this lady there now that I know she wanted to be somewhere else.

So I'm kind of pissy.  Doesn't this seem rude?  Has anybody had a friend or family member marry them in the city of Chicago?  Is it a pain or tricky to have someone become an officiant so that I don't have to pay $350 for a stranger I didn't choose?  I'd consider having my brother marry us, he lives out of state if that helps give tips on having  friends/family perform the ceremony.
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Re: A bit bummed.

  • There are websites where people can become official wedding officiants, and that way a familiy member of yours can indeed do the ceremony for you.  It's pretty cool when that happens, as it's often a very personal ceremony then.  

    Sorry, I don't have any websites to link for you but they're easily found with a google search.

    Good luck!

    Ron
    Ron McKinney Photography
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_a-bit-bummed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:72Discussion:50877961-b4c9-44c1-b89d-ee91d6890c96Post:d376974f-de60-4690-8db4-4f1bc86257cf">Re: A bit bummed.</a>:
    [QUOTE]There are websites where people can become official wedding officiants, and that way a familiy member of yours can indeed do the ceremony for you.  It's pretty cool when that happens, as it's often a very personal ceremony then.   Sorry, I don't have any websites to link for you but they're easily found with a google search. Good luck! Ron Ron McKinney Photography
    Posted by friscoron[/QUOTE]

    Ron - thanks for responding but please note that advertising (even your company's name) is not allowed on The Knot.
  • I just worry that I'm going to miss some small loophole that will make the marriage not valid if we get a friend/family member to officiate. 

    Any input, reputable sites from people that went this route?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_a-bit-bummed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:72Discussion:50877961-b4c9-44c1-b89d-ee91d6890c96Post:2e7e0560-180b-43dc-a0df-10a4140a16d7">Re: A bit bummed.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just worry that I'm going to miss some small loophole that will make the marriage not valid if we get a friend/family member to officiate.  Any input, reputable sites from people that went this route?
    Posted by scstar17[/QUOTE]

    are you getting married in Cook County? here is their website. because it is very vague about the officiant i would just call down there and ask what are the requirements are for officiants. do they have to provide a copy of their certification?
    <a href="http://www.cookcountyclerk.com/vitalrecords/marriagelicenses/pages/default.aspx" rel="nofollow">www.cookcountyclerk.com/vitalrecords/marriagelicenses/pages/default.aspx</a>
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  • CASK85CASK85 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_illinois-chicago_a-bit-bummed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:72Discussion:50877961-b4c9-44c1-b89d-ee91d6890c96Post:2e7e0560-180b-43dc-a0df-10a4140a16d7">Re: A bit bummed.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I just worry that I'm going to miss some small loophole that will make the marriage not valid if we get a friend/family member to officiate.  Any input, reputable sites from people that went this route?
    Posted by scstar17[/QUOTE]
    We were married by a friend who got ordained through the Universal Life Church. As far as I know our marriage is totally legal. . . and toally easy.  I haven't gotten a marriage certificate yet because we really haven't needed one, so I guess I can't say beyond a shadow of a doubt that we're married (that is sort of weird) but like I said, as far as I know after checking with the county clerk, we did all we had to do for her ordination (which was basically nothing other than th online ordination. . .the clerk's office didn't even want documentation of her ordination). <div>
    </div><div>That was long winded. . . sorry! </div>
  • Thanks all, I'm going to consider asking my brother to do this maybe. 
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  • We got married by my husband's uncle, but he is a pastor. He lives in California though, and we did not have to provide any proof other than him signing and writing out his name and "Pastor" on the marriage license. So I can't speak to the online things, but I can say the person does not need to be licensed/recognized by the state of IL. We got married in DuPage county, but I'm pretty certain Cook is the same. We live in Cook.
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  • I just had my wedding last weekend and LOVED my officiant - www.revforwhatev.com. She is fabulous and very communicative. Very well priced and traveled to downtown Chicago to marry us :-)
  • My officiant is great.  She is also very affordable.  http://www.anncruz.com
    Her basic fee is $175 plus $35 for travel anywhere in Chicago.  Hope this helps you.
    Soon to be Mrs. Cross!
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