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Should I change my wedding date?

mrsb711mrsb711
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in Snarky Brides
I planned my wedding for a Friday thinking that it would be a great way for friends and family to give themselves half a day or a day extra on top of their weekend. At first everyone seemed onboard and happy with the idea. 

Now I'm starting to get heat from family members who aren't impressed that the wedding is on a Friday. My ceremony starts at 5pm, and most of my family lives in the same area. The wedding is about a 40 minute drive away in good traffic along the highway, and I just know with Friday afternoon traffic the drive could be well over an hour. Family members aren't impressed - not to mention the fact that they are reminding me that some people might not realize the traffic issue and arrive very late to the ceremony.

Should I stick to the Friday or just make everyone happy and move it to Saturday? 

I want the Friday because with Saturday I HAVE to get married 1pm (vendor rules) and with Friday I got to pick my time. Also, we save a truck load of money which we are using to give some of our guests hotel rooms.
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Re: Should I change my wedding date?

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    akhensley81akhensley81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Absolutely not - don't change the date!! It's YOUR wedding and if you want to get married on a Friday, then so be it!

    Your relatives bring up a valid point about the traffic... so what's wrong with putting a note in the invitation to point out that traffic can be a problem at that time of day, and suggest that guests arrive early? Maybe have some cheese & crackers or and some photo collages of you and your FI in the church lobby before the ceremony, to give guests who arrive early something to do.

    If people still press the issue... I don't see any problem with just politely letting them know that you're on a tight budget and Friday weddings typically cost 30% less than a Saturday. If they're still snarky after that, just tell them they don't have to come. LOL!

    Good luck!!

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    Married!

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    lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I do not think I would change my date.   I also would not be upset if people missed the ceremony and just showed up for the reception.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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    weddingbells2010weddingbells2010
    First Comment
    Don't change your date.  While some of the points are valid, they would have been more helpful to you BEFORE you booked... it's too late.  I am easily annoyed by people who sugar-coat things and then air their true feelings after it's too late to be helpful.

    At my venue in NY, there was LITERALLY a $14,000 difference between my wedding package on a Friday or a Saturday.  Unless your family is paying and will cover that cost, you have no obligation to change.
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    duckie1905duckie1905 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I wouldn't change my date but as lyndausvi said, you can't really complain when those that work skip your ceremony.

    Maybe, if a huge portion of your must-have guestlist is complaining switching to a 7 ceremony would make things easier.  That way they would have time to get to your ceremony without worrying about traffic or taking time off from work.
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    kimheartsscottkimheartsscott member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    "Also, we save a truck load of money which we are using to give some of our guests hotel rooms."

    Thats is above and beyond.  You have done enough for them, stick with the date that you like.
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    mandybear7mandybear7
    First Comment
    Well, if you can pick the time can you change it to 6 pm? That's not a big difference planning-wise, but would certainly help with traffic.
    7/10/10 imageDandy
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    suz62984suz62984
    First Comment
    Do what makes you happy; however keep in mind that some people might opt out because of the 5pm Friday thing.  Also, give yourself plenty of time that day in case traffic is bad.  You may want to take a Friday afternoon and drive around the venue to check out the traffic.
    Anniversary
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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    I agree that 6pm might be better.

    I see nothing wrong with Friday. I went to a wedding in another state on a Friday and it was fine. I'm having my wedding on a Sunday night.

    You'll have to be prepared that you might get more "nos" than you normally would from people who don't want to take off from work (or who can't), and like Lynda said, some people might skip the ceremony. That's basically the compromise, but I think there are a LOT of benefits to a non-Saturday wedding too.
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    BuildABrideBuildABride
    First Comment
    I went to a Friday afternoon wedding and about 120-130 people came. And this was in L.A., so TRUST - all the guests dealt with traffic but the bride & groom had a full house.

    It seems like if they live in the area they would be all-too familiar with the traffic situation and plan accordingly.
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    ExpatPumpkinExpatPumpkin member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I'd just have the ceremony at the latest possible start time...  If you going going to have the ceremony at 5PM and the reception until 10PM, for example, just move it all back two hours and end the reception at midnight.  
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    megandjaymegandjay member
    First Comment
    edited January 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_should-change-wedding-date?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:28f871e8-eda2-40f8-833a-224ebc112aa1Post:d70bc4bf-03af-4185-a2b7-50bf9d38d1ad">Re: Should I change my wedding date?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do not think I would change my date.   I also would not be upset if people missed the ceremony and just showed up for the reception.
    Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

    Don't change it.

    I agree, don't be surprised if some people miss the ceremony due to work or traffic. But everyone that is very close to you will surely try to leave work an hour early and come to watch your vows. As other posters said- can you change to a 6pm ceremony? or 7pm?

    You will kick yourself if you spend thousands of extra dollars to satisfy your family- are they willing to pay the difference???
    ~For Sale~
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    kayak03kayak03 member
    First Comment
    No, but don't get crazy if not everyone can make it on time.

    I ceratinly hope that your Friday night 5:00 wedding isn't at the beginning of a three day weekend because that would really stink to be invited to it. Your guests if they were coming from out of town would have to take the day before off (not getting the holiday pay) to get there.
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    jumpstart50jumpstart50
    First Comment
    no way don't change it. if they're all from the area then they should know that they need to plan ahead for traffic.
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    plessjmplessjm member
    First Comment
    I am with the rest of the ladies on this one. I wouldn't change the date. It is your wedding and the guests will plan accordingly. The guests who are familiar with the area are going to know the traffic situation.
    If family members are truly worried about some people arriving a little late... you could always place an earllier time on the invitation a half-hour before the actual time. You could have someone playing softly while guests find their seats and chat with others or their dates. I like the collage picture in the lobby area that is a cool idea.
    Creating a buffer might help and ease some arguments that people will be late it wont matter what time it will be at... they didnt plan accordingly no matter where you live that is rush hour and everyone would know to plan accordingly
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