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Bachelorette party guest list

agu101agu101 member
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in New Jersey
What is the proper etiquette for who should be invited to the bachelorette party?  Does everyone age appropriate who is invited to the shower also get an invite to the bachelorette party?  I have some people from graduate school who I am kind of friendly with and plan on inviting to both the wedding and the shower, but did not plan on inviting to the bachelorette party.  My BMs are trying to plan some kind of destination party (nothing big like Vegas, but somewhere outside NJ) and I'd like to keep the guest list to a minimum of those I am closest to.  How should I handle this?
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Re: Bachelorette party guest list

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    sgdc2011sgdc2011 member
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    You invite who ever you want that is invited to the wedding. 
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    ginabean82ginabean82 member
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    Id say bridal party, close friends/cousins/siblings over the age of 21.  Im not sure anyone else would want to dish out that kind of money for this.  I would also leave out moms, mother in laws, aunts, and anyone of that age bracket.  I really dont understand why girls invite their moms/mother in laws to their bachelorette parties.  I know I wouldnt be able to be myself or have fun if my mom or mother in law was around.  I'd be too worried about getting drunk and being inappropriate, but that is just me.
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    agu101agu101 member
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    Also, how should couples be handled?  If I invite a girl I am friendly with to my party, should my FI invite her boyfriend, also a mutual friend, to his party?
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    rlavachrlavach member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachelorette-party-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ee4b8756-5973-4dbe-98c0-4399c4f689c2Post:b05a1631-9eac-47e0-8bc0-5346d2437bcb">Re: Bachelorette party guest list</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, how should couples be handled?  If I invite a girl I am friendly with to my party, should my FI invite her boyfriend, also a mutual friend, to his party?
    Posted by agu101[/QUOTE]
    Invites aren't tit for tat. For example, if you had her as a BM, does that mean her boyfriend (FI, husband, whatever) has to be a GM? No. You invite who you want there & he invites who he wants there. <div>
    </div><div>Who you invite really depends on the type of party you plan on having. You might need a little more detail from the girls to know whether or not guests in the older bracket would be appropriate. Usually, it's a much smaller group than a shower, though.</div>

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    altimat873altimat873 member
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    You can invite anyone you want, just make sure they are also going to the wedding. It's all about having fun and you should surround yourself with people who you enjoy their company and who you are close with. I personally dont get the "don't invite your mom" comment above. My mom was a blast but I feel really comfortable having fun around her and she is a lot of fun in general, regardless of drinking habits. I guess Im just really close with my mom so I think that is a personal preference. Otherwise, dont stress about who to invite, have fun!!!
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    cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
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    I agree with PPs.. invite thos girls that you are the closest with, the girls that you would normally have a girl's night out with. I didn't invite anybody who I wouldn't normally "party" with, just because they were a female invited to the wedding.
    As for inviting  mom's.. I don't really get it either - however some girls are really close with their moms, especially if they are closer in age, so I guess it makes sense for them. I personally would never invite my mother out to a bar with me!

    I am surprised that nobody here said "you shouldn't be inviting anybody to your bachelorette party! It should be handled by your bridesmaids or someone else!!" (I don't agree though - it is understood that you need to tell your bridesmaids who should be invited)
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    rlavachrlavach member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachelorette-party-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ee4b8756-5973-4dbe-98c0-4399c4f689c2Post:0e8656f1-b3f8-4067-96d8-1f09824b4be7">Re: Bachelorette party guest list</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with PPs.. invite thos girls that you are the closest with, the girls that you would normally have a girl's night out with. I didn't invite anybody who I wouldn't normally "party" with, just because they were a female invited to the wedding. As for inviting  mom's.. I don't really get it either - however some girls are really close with their moms, especially if they are closer in age, so I guess it makes sense for them. I personally would never invite my mother out to a bar with me! I am surprised that nobody here said<strong> "you shouldn't be inviting anybody to your bachelorette party! It should be handled by your bridesmaids or someone else!!" (I don't agree though - it is understood that you need to tell your bridesmaids who should be invited)</strong>
    Posted by cindyn9178[/QUOTE]
    Yeah, I don't know why people say that too. I understand you shouldn't throw it for yourself, but that's different than giving a list. Just like with a shower, you have to tell them who you'd want there!

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    agu101agu101 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachelorette-party-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ee4b8756-5973-4dbe-98c0-4399c4f689c2Post:0e8656f1-b3f8-4067-96d8-1f09824b4be7">Re: Bachelorette party guest list</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with PPs.. invite thos girls that you are the closest with, the girls that you would normally have a girl's night out with. I didn't invite anybody who I wouldn't normally "party" with, just because they were a female invited to the wedding. As for inviting  mom's.. I don't really get it either - however some girls are really close with their moms, especially if they are closer in age, so I guess it makes sense for them. I personally would never invite my mother out to a bar with me!<strong> I am surprised that nobody here said "you shouldn't be inviting anybody to your bachelorette party! It should be handled by your bridesmaids or someone else!!" (I don't agree though - it is understood that you need to tell your bridesmaids who should be invited)
    Posted by cindyn9178</strong>[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>The whole reason this has come up is because my BMs specifically asked me to provide them with a list of people for who I'd like to invite.  That is all the involvement I have with the planning of my bachelorette party.

    </div>
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    cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachelorette-party-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ee4b8756-5973-4dbe-98c0-4399c4f689c2Post:168319e0-28d5-4fd3-8a59-397d0d2e99c0">Re: Bachelorette party guest list</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelorette party guest list : The whole reason this has come up is because my BMs specifically asked me to provide them with a list of people for who I'd like to invite.  That is all the involvement I have with the planning of my bachelorette party.
    Posted by agu101[/QUOTE]
    Totally understood..just saying there are always one or two girls on the boards who comment about that, when it is silly.

    ETA: I see you posted this question on the E board, and surprise - the first person commented "you shouldn't be throwing your own b-party" LOL!
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    mercy4mercy4
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    edited December 2011
    I plan on having my MOH invite my closest friends and bridesmaids.  FI's BM will invite his friends and groomsmen, having nothing to do with my list.

    Also, I know you shouldn't plan your own parties but if you are a control freak like me, you will certainly give your MOH heavy suggestions lol
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    agu101agu101 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_bachelorette-party-guest-list?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:ee4b8756-5973-4dbe-98c0-4399c4f689c2Post:c3368991-3146-4792-a7ec-f63e194b19ec">Re: Bachelorette party guest list</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bachelorette party guest list : Totally understood..just saying there are always one or two girls on the boards who comment about that, when it is silly. <strong>ETA: I see you posted this question on the E board, and surprise - the first person commented "you shouldn't be throwing your own b-party" LOL!
    Posted by cindyn9178[/QUOTE]</strong>

    <div>Haha I know- I couldn't belive that was the first thing that came to people's minds when I asked this question </div>
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