Need help with a food issue

Lissa1213 · February 2011

I am planning on getting married right before sunset in May 2012. I am planning on having more of a cocktail style reception set on a balcony with avg 100 guest. I am looking at only having 3 hor'dourves and a desert table set up, (with my cake of course). Do you think this is enough? Would anyone expect more in the food department?

frogurt814 · February 2011

Could you be more specific on the time? It really sounds like your reception would be at a meal time, and no, 3 appetizers and a dessert table would not suffice. If your reception is at a meal time, you either need to offer a meal or offer enough appetizers to constitute a meal.

If that's not in your budget then you need to change the time of your reception to be at a non-meal time.

Lissa1213 · February 2011

Ohhh Sorry. The ceromony will start at 7pm. The reception will follow on site

casies683 · February 2011

I think the reception would start late enough for the 3 hor'dourves and a desert table.

LauraT25 · February 2011

I disagree with casies, I think that a ceremony at 7 pm means that dinner (or enough food to constitute a full meal) will be expected. When you factor in travel time and getting ready, it's unlikely that guests will be able to eat dinner beforehand.

kaesha · February 2011

I disagree with casies too. If your reception begins at 7:00, then guests will start arriving by 6:30, which means they need to get ready and hit the road earlier. If you're expecting guests to stick around past 9:00, you need to offer them more food so they have the energy to do so.

RebeccaB88 · February 2011

I would absolutely expect a full meal at a 7pm wedding. At 8pm or later, I wouldn't.

Lissa1213 · February 2011

To be honest I don't feel like offering a full dinner since I stated "Cocktail Style Reception", the only reason I have decided to serve hor'douvers is that I don't want people to stand around and drink without something to put in their bellies. Personally I eat dinner around 5pm, 6pm at the latest and would think it absurd to serve a meal that late. So maybe I should restate my question

"Do you think people should expect a full meal when it will clearly be a cocktail style reception?"

RebeccaB88 · February 2011

Ok, so you eat dinner earlier than most people. That's fine, that works for you. But it's not absurd to eat dinner as late as 8pm. Most people I know eat between 6 and 7pm, some closer to 8. A late dinner is not absurd, and for some it's normal.

You can absolutely specify 'cocktail reception to follow' on your invitations. That would give a clear indication that you don't intend to feed them. That doesn't mean that your guests will be pleased with it, though. If someone isn't able to eat beforehand, they will probably leave early because they are hungry. (I would.) Hungry guests aren't happy guests. I think your guests will be expecting more food than you are willing to provide. If you were willing to push your ceremony closer to 8pm, I don't think anyone would question the light refreshments.

marinabreeze · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_need-food-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:7b50bc5c-eaa7-4dea-829c-ec739a6111bbPost:8b12f4cc-ad43-436c-bc82-197cbcbd0b6e">Re: Need help with a food issue</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>To be honest I don't feel like offering a full dinner since I stated "Cocktail Style Reception"</strong>, the only reason I have decided to serve hor'douvers is that I don't want people to stand around and drink without something to put in their bellies. <strong>Personally I eat dinner around 5pm, 6pm at the latest and would think it absurd to serve a meal that late. </strong> So maybe I should restate my question "Do you think people should expect a full meal when it will clearly be a cocktail style reception?"
Posted by Lissa1213[/QUOTE]
It doesn't matter how you restate the question. It's not advisable to have the kind of reception you're talking about having that early. You need to factor in the fact that your guests will be getting ready around dinnertime to attend your ceremony.

Also, "dinnertime" is different for different people. For example, I conduct academic surveys by phone to random members of the community. It doesn't matter if it's 5 o'clock or 8:30, I almost always during my shift get someone who will complain about me calling during "dinnertime." Just because you eat dinner at 5 or 6pm doesn't mean your guests eat then.

Now that said, you can have this kind of reception, but your guests will probably be annoyed about not getting actual food after sacrificing their dinnertime to go to your wedding. Many of them will leave early. I'm not so sure if this is the desired effect.

GoodLuckBear14 · February 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_need-food-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:23Discussion:7b50bc5c-eaa7-4dea-829c-ec739a6111bbPost:8b12f4cc-ad43-436c-bc82-197cbcbd0b6e">Re: Need help with a food issue</a>:
[QUOTE]To be honest I don't feel like offering a full dinner since I stated "Cocktail Style Reception", the only reason I have decided to serve hor'douvers is that I don't want people to stand around and drink without something to put in their bellies. Personally I eat dinner around 5pm, 6pm at the latest and would think it absurd to serve a meal that late. So maybe I should restate my question "Do you think people should expect a full meal when it will clearly be a cocktail style reception?"
Posted by Lissa1213[/QUOTE]

Dinnertime for me is anywhere between 7:30 and 8:30 p.m. Sorry if you think that time is absurd - we take the time to cook a homemade meal from scratch no matter how late we get home from work.

I would put hor d'ouerve reception on the invitation so there is no confusion however, I think you will still need more than just three different appetizers. I would do at least six or seven and make sure there is enough total to replace a meal for every guest. If you can't do that, change the time.

jess9802 · February 2011

I usually eat dinner around 6 PM, and could probably eat earlier if I was attending a cocktail reception following a 7 PM ceremony. I'd certainly expect more than just three types of appetizers and dessert, however. You need a wider variety and I really think you should plan on the appetizers replacing a meal for your guests unless you start your ceremony and reception later in the evening.

LauraT25 · February 2011

I usually eat at 7 pm or later. It's not unheard of for me to eat at 6, but since I would be getting dressed and driving to your wedding at that time, I wouldn't be eating before your reception. I know that you disagree about what time dinner should be eaten, but we are trying to point out that many of your guests will be in the same situation.

FYI, if you wrote 'cocktail reception to follow', I would think there would be more than three hors d'oeuvres, since heavy apps have become pretty popular at weddings and your wedding DOES coincide with a typical mealtime. I would most likely eat a protein bar or something around 5 pm (before I started to get ready), but if there wasn't enough food I (and probably many of your guests) would leave early.

If this is what you want to do, that's fine, but just be prepared for people to leave early. You might want to consider making it a little more clear what will be served, maybe by writing something about 'light refreshments' on your website/reception cards or letting people know via word-of-mouth so that they can plan accordingly.

peanutty2 · February 2011

I would expect more food, 3 appetizers and dessert is not enough if people are drinking (i think you said there's drinks? and is there dancing?). plus out of 3 appetizers, i may only be able to eat 1 of them (if that) and i don't like nor want to load up on a ton of desserts. i think if you really want to only offer apps and desserts, move it a little later or do it in the afternoon, definately put it on the invite like you said, and offer some more choices.

mica178 · February 2011

Personally I would find just three hors d'ouevres and wedding cake more consistent with "light refreshments to follow" than "cocktail style reception to follow." Most cocktail style receptions I've been to have 4-6 passed hors d'ouevres and a display or two besides (and then cake). If you are deadset in keeping your wedding time around sunset, you need to boost up your food offerings or expect guests to leave early when they feel hungry and the food has run out.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2011

I agree with PPs. 7 is an early dinner time for me. I usually eat around 7:30 or 8. I'm not even home from work by 6.

I don't think 3 apps are enough. What are you serving, if I may ask? I'd do a little more variety. Or add a cheese and cracker or vegetable/fruit display at the very least.

Lissa1213 · March 2011

Well eventhough I still want to disagree with everyone I know you ALL are right. I need to definitely reconsider the food situation. Thank you everyone

bltata · March 2011

If you stated that it was a cocktail reception and want to avoid a plated meal, I would suggest just adding a few more heavy apps. Especially if the 3 you are already planning on are fairly light.

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