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Help with wording - Complicated family dynamics

kimka83kimka83 member
First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
Hi all,
I think I am on the right track with this invitation wording, but I just wanted to check in.

My dad and stepmother are hosting the wedding and reception. FI's father and stepmother are hosting an after-party event.  There is great bitterness between my mom and my dad/stepmom, and she will be very insulted if she is not included on invite (even though she is not hosting any event).  FI also wants his parents somewhere on invite, and prefers both his dad and mom included.  So here is what I have.

Dr. and Mrs. My Dad

Request the pleasure of your company

At the marriage of his daughter

 

My Full Name

Daughter of My Mom

 

To

 

FI’s Full Name

Son of His Mom and His Dad

 

Date

Time

Our Venue

Town, State

 

Reception to Follow

 

Is this okay?  We are leaving out my stepdad (mom's new husband, not hosting anyting) and my FI's stepmom (hosting afterparty along with his Dad.  I just can't image an invitation with all eight parents names on it!  But I don't want to slight FI's dad and stepmom who are actually hosting the afterparty event. 

Sorrry this is so long, but it is a bit complicated. 
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Re: Help with wording - Complicated family dynamics

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    danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    I wouldn't leave off the step-parents without at least checking with your parents first.  I think that could lead to some seriously hurt feelings, especially since you are including your step-mom.

    Also, you can't list your Fi's mom and dad together like that because they're divorced.

    I would try it like this and see if your parents can agree that it's okay:

    Dr. and Mrs. My Dad

    Your Mom and step-dad

    Request the pleasure of your company

    At the marriage of their daughter

     

    My Full Name

     

    To

     

    FI’s Full Name

    Son of Mom and Step dad

    Dad and step-mom

     

    Date

    Time

    Our Venue

    Town, State

     

    Reception to Follow


    Other options would be to just say "Together with their parents" instead of listing names.
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    squirrlysquirrly member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment

    I think the step-parents need to be all or nothing - list them all by name, or list none of them.  If you go with all, it's what Dani put above.  If you go with none, it would be:

    Dr. Your Dad

    Mrs. Your Mom

    Request the pleasure of your company

    At the marriage of their daughter

     

    YourFull Name

     

    To

     

    FI’s Full Name

    Son of Mrs. FI's Mom

    Mr. FI's Dad


    Date

    Time

    Venue

    Town, State

     

    Reception to Follow

    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
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    kimka83kimka83 member
    First Comment
    edited November 2009
    Yeah - I know it would be best to include stepparents, but I feel that it isn't right to put my mom and step-dad right up there at the top since they are not hosting AT ALL.  They have had nothing to do with the wedding, and they hardly speak to me.   It would be an insult to my Dad and step mom who are putting a lot of money and effort into hosting the event if my mom and step-dad were included as hosts. 

    Maybe I should just leave step-parents off altogether . . . but I am just so close to my step-mother and she has basically done everything for this wedding, dress shopping, calling/booking vendors, etc.  Grrrr.  This isn't easy. 
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    squirrlysquirrly member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Understood.  Have you talked with your FI's step-parents to see how they feel?  If they're ok with it, then you probably have more flexibility to do it the way you originally listed it. 

    If every guest is invited to the after party, you could send a separate invitation to that showing that they're hosting.  By send, you could literally mail it separately after getting RSVPs back, include it as an enclosure with the invitation, or place it at each place setting at the reception. 

    Also - remind your mom that all the parents will be in the program (assuming you're having one).  Maybe that would appease her instead, if you wanted to simplify the invitation?
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
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    Noodles8579Noodles8579 member
    First Comment
    if it was me, i would do "together with their parents" and then have the return address on the invite be from my dad.  it's a small thing but it might make him feel better without anyone else feeling too offended. 
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    kimka83kimka83 member
    First Comment
    One more question, releated to Mrs. My Mom and Mrs. FI's mom.  They are both remarried.  Should I list them as Mrs. John Doe  and Mrs. Joe Blow on the invitation, for example using their husbands first names?

    If I list them as Mrs. Jane Doe and Mrs. Sue Blow, doesn't this imply that they are divorcees from their new husbands? 

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