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Etiquette Question...

gmmoore21gmmoore21
First Comment
in Ohio-Columbus
My dear FI has been working really hard on creating an amazing wedding website for us so that our guests can stay up to date on all info related to our big day. While we did register at Macy's, we would really prefer that people give us cash instead of gifts. We both lived by ourselves for many years and when we moved in together, combined 2 very full households! There is really very little that we need at this point.
My FI looked into an option of registering with Paypal, so that our guests can sponsor us for different honeymoon activities or just give us a cash gift instead. He wants to list this on our wedding website (that we would prefer cash instead of the registered gifts), but I worry that would be extremely tacky and just, quite frankly, a giant NO-NO!
What are your thoughts on this?
TIA! :)
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Re: Etiquette Question...

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know about listing it on your wedding website, I would look to some of the wedding books either from the library or B&N or something before you decide. There are so many new and creative ideas of doing things, I think people do their own thing and even stray from etiquete some, after all it is your wedding. I actually feel like I am in the same situation as you, there are some new things we want, but we with combining two households, we are really in pretty good shape. As far as the honeymoon thing goes, depending on how/where you booked it, that is actually a really good and popular idea. Our travel agent told us that for the extras that are not included in our honeymoon package, we can create a wish list on the hotel/resort website and then family and friends can purchase extras for us like spa trips, scuba diving, etc. Our TA suggested we tell family and friends for either bridal showers/bachelorette parties or just word of mouth. Hope this helps at least some.
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  • egeigeregeiger member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Etiquette says that is a no-no. Instead of posting it on the site, start with your parents. Let them spread the word that you are working on your nest egg, and then it should go from there. But, if its something you want to do, the police will not come and get you!  Also, with paypal, keep in mind that a portion will be deducted in fees, so if your family spreads the word about cash, you would save the fees.  General understanding is that gifts are not a requirement, so you can't ask for anything, and a registry is just a convenience for the guest to understand what you don't already have. 

    On honeymoon registries, again, most have fees, so understand that you will have to pay those.  All that said, we did a traditional registry and a honeymoon registry through honeyfund.com. They do not charge a fee.  I didn't care too much about the etiquette of it! =) Good luck!
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  • second time aroundsecond time around
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Per Emily Post: Do NOT post or write anywhere that you want cash instead of gift. Listing registries are ok, honeymoon or otherwise. You can always tell your mother, his mother etc that if they are asked, you could use cash the most to build a savings or use on your honeymoon.  
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  • BrittBritt22BrittBritt22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agree with PP.  Tell your parents, maybe MOH, etc. and let them spread the word.  Much less tacky than putting it online.
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  • lo99lo99
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Any chance you or your FI are from NE Ohio or have family/friends are from NE Ohio?  For some reason all of the weddings I have been to in Cleveland or Akron/Canton, most guests give cash for the wedding.  One of my friend's registries was almost all purchased after her showers, and we told her she needed to put more on it or she would get random presents from people.  She told us not to worry and that everyone would bring cash.  She was right--there were only 3 gifts on the gift table and 100s of envelopes. My mom is from Cbus and her mom is from Cincy, and evidently back in the day it was not proper to give cash for weddings, but it was always custom in NE Ohio.  So, if your guest list hails from NE Ohio, you'll prob get lucky and get mostly cash!

    I would have friends/family spread the word and also not register for a lot of items.  Yes, you may get some random gift from some people, but my guess is most people will go with cash if there is nothing left on the registry.
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  • gmmoore21gmmoore21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all for your advice! This just confirms what I have been thinking (and saying to my FI!) all along. 
    I am from Cincy but lived in NYC for 8 years before moving to Columbus. Most people on the East Coast give cash too! I'm hoping people will just spread the word...
    Thanks for the advice!
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  • mmdpmmmdpm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_whining-goes-here?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e37ea390-0547-47a3-ad52-9bdd4fe61de6Post:6a918e60-4b54-4c74-ada1-f399900447d2">Re: Whining goes here</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'll whine about my laziness.  I'm too lazy to pour cereal into a bowl, and eat it that way. So, instead I am eating straight out the box, and washing it down with a glass of milk. 
    Posted by RachNRich[/QUOTE]

    This is legendary!

    My own whine

    - I hate being a resident and am way overworked for a teeny tiny salary
    (Don't complain about healthcare folks, I have a quarter of million dollars worth of debt and the feds are talking about capping doctors salaries in the wonderful federal healthcare system)

    - FMIL is still on the crazy train

    - I can't have a glass of wine because I am on call <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-frown.gif" border="0" alt="Frown" title="Frown" />
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