AUUUGH (PIP)

LOLways · July 2011

I bought my dress from Bridals by Lori a few months ago. The day after I bought it, I had second thoughts. And now that it has arrived in the store and they called me to tell me to come get it.... I'm reminded again of it.

I really don't like my dress. I hate myself, this is such an expensive dress, and now if I get a new one I have to eat the cost. If I don't get a new one, I'm stuck with a dress that doesn't make me happy. Sad panda.

I'm debating going up there to try it on and decide if I really hate it enough to not wear it on my wedding day. Maybe taking some tulle out from underneath will help. I don't know.

As an aside, I am probably projecting some resentment from the stress of planning this wedding on my poor dress. Kind of like how when a family is abusive towards a child, they abuse the pet. Maybe I'm just abusing my dress mentally? I don't know. I wish these stupid things didn't cost so damn much.

I got promoted a couple months ago, so I can afford to buy another, but I'll never hear the end of it from my mother, sister, FI, and anyone else who decides to get judgey about it.

LetsHikeToday · July 2011

I think you look great! It's really pretty! How come you had second thoughts?

Sammy0709 · July 2011

I don't think I would pick any of your poll answers. I wasn't big on my dress (liked it didn't love it) until we added the colored sash. Is there something you could add or take away? I know that's not always easy. Maybe trying it on with the right headpiece/veil would make you feel better about it. If all else fails I suppose you could try selling it and buying a new one but I would exhaust other options first.

court476 · July 2011

yeah what PP said you look amazing in it! but if you are really that unhappy with it when you walk down the isle people will know cause it will be written all over your face.

iluvmytxrgr · July 2011

I didn't vote. I think your dress is very pretty on you. I would see if taking out some of the tule will make you feel better. Gather some up and stick in between your knees. Maybe try a different head piece. If you don't feel better after that, try on different dresses.
I think everyone has second thoughts about their dress. There will always be something out there later that you like. You chose your dress for a reason. Think back on why and see if it helps settle your butterflies.

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_auuugh-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:5474dce9-fa37-4e28-8293-d4c338297508Post:c6b408fc-9061-48ba-8b40-23973c3e9c62">Re: AUUUGH (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't vote. I think your dress is very pretty on you. I would see if taking out some of the tule will make you feel better. Gather some up and stick in between your knees. Maybe try a different head piece. If you don't feel better after that, try on different dresses. <strong>I think everyone has second thoughts about their dress.</strong> There will always be something out there later that you like. You chose your dress for a reason. Think back on why and see if it helps settle your butterflies.
Posted by iluvmytxrgr[/QUOTE]
I didn't. Not now and I have yet to and I'm not getting married for a year+ I love my dress. If it came down to it I would go to the courthouse in my dress just to get married

LetsHikeToday · July 2011

I kinda had second thoughts on mine. I kept wondering if I should have kept looking. But day of? The dress felt great and everyone loved it.

LOLways · July 2011

Letshike- I felt pressured to stop looking and just pick something. I think I tried on 50 dresses at 2 stores that day, and was overwhelmed. I started to cry in that dress, so everyone said it was destined to be my dress then... I'm having second thoughts because it isn't very sexy/ figure-skimming... I walked into the shop and said the 2 things I didn't want were ballgown and strapless, and that's what I ended up with. I hate that when I wear strapless, some close-up pictures make it look like I'm naked. It's so weird. I never, ever wear strapless anything.

Sammy- a girl I work with suggested the accessories/ add-ons change-up like you did... She suggested perhaps a shrug/ jacket like Princess Catherine's for her reception outfit.

court- another girl I work with said the same thing... she bought 2 dresses for her wedding because she changed her mind about the first one...

Thanks for the compliment though!

iluvmytxrgr- the reason I chose it was kinda because I was pressured and overwhelmed, which led to tears, misidentified as "this is my dress" tears... I actually called the shop the day after to see about maybe cancelling my order, but the sales lady talked me back into it. So did my mother.

Kendall- I wish I felt this way!!!!!! Maybe the lack of this feeling is part of the reason why I'm having even more second thoughts...

LetsHikeToday · July 2011

Do a fabulous necklace and you won't look naked! Maybe you'd like it without the veil. You could probably get some tule taken out.

LOLways · July 2011

I've been scouring Etsy and the net for a blingtastic, big necklace. I hope that isn't too trashy, but if I do stick with this dress, I do need something so I don't feel just... bare, haha.

SamiJoeB · July 2011

You could have it altered to add straps. I think it's a really pretty dress..

I bought a dress with my parents and I stared at it for months, and then right before Thanksgiving, I called my mom and cried about how much I hated the dress. It was a nice dress, but I just hated it, plus I couldn't sit down in it and we were having a sit down dinner. I exchanged my original dress for a Maggie dress, but really in the end, I didn't like it very much either. A few years ago I had picked out my dream dress, but it just didn't go with our wedding.

^^This was my dream dress, but it wouldn't look right for a December Wedding in WA.. so I got a different one.. I don't think my dress photographed well at all. I think your dress is beautiful, but if it's not right for you, it's just not right. Maybe they'll exchange it? or work with you in some way.. Good Luck!!

sofiabrian · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_auuugh-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:5474dce9-fa37-4e28-8293-d4c338297508Post:46e63aa1-f426-4d1c-b238-bb2bbfc2218e">Re: AUUUGH (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]I kinda had second thoughts on mine. I kept wondering if I should have kept looking. But day of? The dress felt great and everyone loved it.
Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree with this.</div><div>But also if you really feel this way about your dress, go and try on others. It could make you realize this is your dress, or vice versa! </div><div>Regardless, I think you look pretty in your dress!! It's a very beautiful dress!!</div>

KendallR10 · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_auuugh-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:5474dce9-fa37-4e28-8293-d4c338297508Post:c8ce8b42-dd7a-47c7-8b4a-1ac221f55099">Re: AUUUGH (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]Letshike- I felt pressured to stop looking and just pick something. I think I tried on 50 dresses at 2 stores that day, and was overwhelmed. I started to cry in that dress, so everyone said it was destined to be my dress then... I'm having second thoughts because it isn't very sexy/ figure-skimming... I walked into the shop and said the 2 things I didn't want were ballgown and strapless, and that's what I ended up with. I hate that when I wear strapless, some close-up pictures make it look like I'm naked. It's so weird. I never, ever wear strapless anything. Sammy- a girl I work with suggested the accessories/ add-ons change-up like you did... She suggested perhaps a shrug/ jacket like Princess Catherine's for her reception outfit. court- another girl I work with said the same thing... she bought 2 dresses for her wedding because she changed her mind about the first one... :/ Thanks for the compliment though! iluvmytxrgr- the reason I chose it was kinda because I was pressured and overwhelmed, which led to tears, misidentified as "this is my dress" tears... I actually called the shop the day after to see about maybe cancelling my order, but the sales lady talked me back into it. So did my mother. <strong>Kendall- I wish I felt this way!!!!!! Maybe the lack of this feeling is part of the reason why I'm having even more second thoughts...</strong>
Posted by LOLways[/QUOTE]
When I picture my wedding its the only dress I can see myself in

prettyirishgirl · July 2011

I agree with like hike I'd try an add or subtract that you love. a different veil, big jewelry, straps, colored sash hair down? There are a million things that are simple that can change that dress a lot. On the other hand i think you look amazing in it. you could be projecting :P. I would go try it on again and talk to them. They may be able to ease your fears by showing you ways to change it. They do this every day we do it once

I fyou do go looking for another dress make sure you knwo how you feel about this one. and if you try on others hoping it will make you love this one be prepared to fall inlove with another dress.

good luck

LOLways · July 2011

SamiJoe- I'm sorry you couldn't wear your dream dress because of the time of year you got married...:( It was really pretty, and you have good taste!

I think I may go by myself to the overpriced bridal boutique in town and try some stuff on there. I went there before, but I had no idea what I wanted (I suppose in a way, I still don't...), so it wasn't the best experience. Maybe it will make me like the dress I bought better. I hope that this is all a subconscious self-sabotage, and maybe if I can start enjoying planning for my wedding, I can be happier and more satisfied with the dress, and other things in general.

Right now, my mom and sister are trying to micromanage my BM dresses (I had my BM's vote, then my mom decided because she didn't get a vote, that dress was scratched off the list... wtf?) My FI has pitched a hissy fit over the idea of getting married at 6PM (I have only ever envisioned getting married at night, he says he would want to get married at 2 or 3 PM- which would make me so miserable)... so now we have to start over our search for priests who are available and not doing mass that Saturday afternoon (the priest we wanted isn't available until 6PM that night). Sooo..... EVERYTHING else (contracts that include times, aka pretty much all of them) is on hold until we can straighten out the priest thing. Lastly, the idea of my FI having a bachelor party with strippers, and whatever else his GM have in mind makes me have a stomachache, and distracts me from thinking anything positive about my sister's proposed plans for a bachelorette party.

Oh, and did I mention I'm PCSing and starting grad school in 2 weeks? **headdesk***

Sorry for the vent. I guess I'm feeling a little too pathetic and helpless and sorry for myself, so I'm going to go cook or do something productive and distracting for a few hours. I'll let yall know how it goes when I look at dresses tomorrow!

LetsHikeToday · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_auuugh-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:5474dce9-fa37-4e28-8293-d4c338297508Post:5f1075de-3cbb-4956-8554-4c0ad6aab41b">Re: AUUUGH (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]SamiJoe- I'm sorry you couldn't wear your dream dress because of the time of year you got married...:( It was really pretty, and you have good taste! I think I may go by myself to the overpriced bridal boutique in town and try some stuff on there. I went there before, but I had no idea what I wanted (I suppose in a way, I still don't...), so it wasn't the best experience. Maybe it will make me like the dress I bought better. I hope that this is all a subconscious self-sabotage, and maybe if I can start enjoying planning for my wedding, I can be happier and more satisfied with the dress, and other things in general. Right now, my mom and sister are trying to micromanage my BM dresses (I had my BM's vote, then my mom decided because she didn't get a vote, that dress was scratched off the list... wtf?) My FI has pitched a hissy fit over the idea of getting married at 6PM (I have only ever envisioned getting married at night, he says he would want to get married at 2 or 3 PM- which would make me so miserable)... so now we have to start over our search for priests who are available and not doing mass that Saturday afternoon (the priest we wanted isn't available until 6PM that night). Sooo..... EVERYTHING else (contracts that include times, aka pretty much all of them) is on hold until we can straighten out the priest thing. Lastly, the idea of my FI having a bachelor party with strippers, and whatever else his GM have in mind makes me have a stomachache, and distracts me from thinking anything positive about my sister's proposed plans for a bachelorette party. Oh, and did I mention I'm PCSing and starting grad school in 2 weeks? **headdesk*** Sorry for the vent. I guess I'm feeling a little too pathetic and helpless and sorry for myself, so I'm going to go cook or do something productive and distracting for a few hours. I'll let yall know how it goes when I look at dresses tomorrow!
Posted by LOLways[/QUOTE]

Hang in there! Weddings can be super stressful! That's weird about your mom and the BM dress. How come she didn't like it? Id probably tell my mom that the girls who are paying for it picked it! How come FI wants earlier now? Once you get that figured out, I bet everything falls into place. Vent here if you need to. There were times I was very stressed out. h knew we could only talk about the wedding for 5 minutes and then I'd have to stop. :-) it's hard to try to plan while everyone voices their opinion.

LOLways · July 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_auuugh-pip?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:5474dce9-fa37-4e28-8293-d4c338297508Post:70790a0f-b172-48b1-9ee4-31ed4ce938f0">Re: AUUUGH (PIP)</a>:
[QUOTE]That's weird about your mom and the BM dress. How come she didn't like it? Id probably tell my mom that the girls who are paying for it picked it[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Mom insists that since she is paying for both my sisters' dresses (they are both BMs), she gets a say. This is precisely why I wanted to elope when we were in Vegas a couple months ago. If my mom is going to lord over me the fact that she and dad are paying for most of the wedding, then it's not even worth putting up with. But, FI wants a church wedding, so I have to suck it up.</div><div>
</div><div>[QUOTE]How come FI wants earlier now?[/QUOTE]

</div><div>It's one of those things he "envisioned" about his wedding that he never communicated until it became relevant. I will say that I was the same way, I just assumed we'd have a night wedding. And I had no idea it was going to be the most miserable thing on the planet to him.... unfortunately, I almost feel the same way about having it early. In New Orleans, it's supposed to be a big party, going into the night, which is how Mardi Gras balls are. He has been exposed to those, so he knows it's a cultural thing in the city to have a reception go into the late evening. But, he said that if it were a wedding we were invited to, he "wouldn't even want to go." I was so upset that I didn't think about the fact that the wedding we went to in November had a ceremony that started at about 6. Mostly I was upset that he wouldn't admit that this was his "chip" that he wanted to throw down. He said he didn't want to throw it down now, only to have me say he couldn't throw it down later about something else.</div><div>
</div><div>That's the problem with my wedding as it stands. I feel like I'm on the defensive against FI, and mom, who both "have a chip" or two that they are holding and waiting to throw down. As a result, I have made so many compromises all along to try to make as many people happy as possible... and now this wedding doesn't even feel like it is mine. It's everyone else's. The guest list has swollen from 200 (what we guesstimated when we signed a contract for the reception venue), to 350+ being invited. Mom and dad say they have no problem with paying for these additional people, and they can afford it, it's just that I don't WANT this many people coming. Including people I don't even know. Dad added about 50 clients, many of whom I don't even know, based on the fact that they are his biggest clients. Dad has mostly stayed out of this so far, so I may call him up and try to have a conversation with him about trimming it back. This is a celebration of my <u>marriage</u>, not a business party or something.</div><div>
</div><div>I tell FI how upset I am with all this, but then he feels bad that I'm miserable. I just don't understand why we're doing this to ourselves. I feel like it's bad for my relationship with him, my family and his family.</div><div>
</div><div>***</div><div>As an aside, I made baked ziti for dinner and am bringing some of it over to some folks in my squadron that just had a baby. Coincidentally, they named their baby the same name as me, so that is kinda cool. The ziti is still sitting on the stove cooling and I am going crazzzzzy waiting to have some:) The recipe is just a little too big for my 13x9 pan, so I make a small little 2 serving pan at the same time. I'll be keeping that for myself!! Nom nom....</div>

LOLways · July 2011

Letshike, thanks for being so understanding... I really needed to feel a little reassurance from a third party:)

Zimsgirl · July 2011

You look beautiful! If you stick with this dress or find another you will be beautiful!

And Kendall I'm with you. I have no regrets about my dress or doubts. I love it

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