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Do I have to ask my fiance's sister to be in the wedding?

cdevinecdevine
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in Ohio-Columbus
I've been told it's traditional to ask the groom's sister to be a bridesmaid.
Her and I have talked, we mostly see each other on Sundays (when i go to his parents for breakfast). She criticizes him a lot.

I do not want to ask her to be in the wedding period... I think she will criticize everything I choose/do and I don't want that kind of stress.

I'm also really nervous about what his mother may say if I don't include her. :/ Anyone in the same situation or have some advice?
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Re: Do I have to ask my fiance's sister to be in the wedding?

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    MrsHoneywoodMrsHoneywood
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    I also am battling with this same issue. My fiance has 2 sisters and hes only close to one which hes asked me to include her in my party. It wouldn't be much of an issue if 1) I actually had a relationship with her, 2) If I knew his other sister wouldn't expect to also be included (in my mind is a HELL NO!!) I agreed with it under the stipulations that he and his mother would have to explain to his other sister that she will not be a bridesmaid.... My head throbs thinking about the drama. Im thinking this wont be so bad with an extra set of hands.

    So I guess the only way you could avoid the drama of the whole situation is if things are done at your terms, it is your day after all. Just let things be clear of your needs, and what you dont want to happen or be said. Hope this helps:)
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    dmackie1218dmackie1218 member
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    My FI has 3 SISTERS!!!! We have debated over the bridal party for quite a while now. I have 2 brothers and kind of felt that I wanted them in the bridal party, but wasn't sure if I wanted all 3 of his sisters. I took a poll amongst my friends to see if I could have one or two, or if I would have to have all 3 of them. Surprisingly, the poll concluded that if I was going to have one, that I needed to have all 3. So after much contemplating, I decided that I wanted to have my brothers be grromsmen and that it was only right that I have all three of his sisters. I don't have a very close relationship with any of them really but me and FI have only been together for 1 1/2 years. We all get along really well but I know that there can be some family drama between the sisters. I really hope that this drama is not brought into my wedding or I might just lose it. Keeping my fingers crossed. I totally feel for anyone dealing with this :(
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    MrsBoss2012MrsBoss2012
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    No you don't. From Day 1 my FSIL flat out asked would she be in it and in a HeeHee *nervous laugh* kind of way I said no. I did not want my FI sister to be a bridesmaid but I did want my brother involved in someway. I made his sister a hostess and my brother will be escorting my mom down the aisle so she doesn't walk alone since my dad is walking me. You can always find other important jobs for them. I am having tough enough time with my bridesmaids who I know and love dearly. I would hate to be in some awkward struggle with FSIL if things didn't go well with her in the bridal party.
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    saacjwsaacjw member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    No you don't. If your FI wants her on his side, he can have her. If that's the case and you're concerned that she'll criticize everything still, don't tell her anything more than what to wear and when to show up. She can't criticize plans if she's in the dark!
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    abt87abt87 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    Nope! I'd give her a reading or give her a wrist corsage so she feels special. I do find it awkward when 1 but not all of the siblings aren't included in the wedding party. 
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    MrsColeman2012MrsColeman2012
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    This made my LOL! There was no way in HELL that FI's sister was going to be a bridesmaid! EVER. Haha! Anyhoo, my short answer is no...you are not required to make her a BM. However, it is up to you to decide if its worth a fight with FI.
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    Carly245Carly245
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    I am having my FI's two sisters and FSIL. His fam is super close. I don't mind because I know they are going to be "my sister's" post wedding and will be in my life forever. The worst for me is when people have friends in their weddings that they aren't too close too and years down the road you don't even talk anymore. At least you know the SIL's will always be there!
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    CreyoCreyo
    First Comment
    I agree with Carly245. Fi has two sisters and I met one once and haven't met the other just b/c they both live in Florida. He said it was fine not to have them as bridesmaids, but I figure they will be in our lives forever and I don't know if my friends will be. My cousin got married and had her best friend as her moh then after the wedding they had a falling out and haven't talked since. (8 years later) It is your choice though, and you get to make it on how you feel :)
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    cdevinecdevine
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    There is no fight with the FI about the sister, he doesn't want her in the wedding period.. but I always heard I should at least ask her.. I told him i didn't want to ask her and he said it was no problem with him. so I guess thats it.. I will not be asking her!
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    summergirl23summergirl23
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    I am getting married in 9 days, and one of the Grooms sisters is a Bridesmaid and one is not.  One sister I was close with and regarded as a friend.  The other I barely knew and could barely tolerate.  She threw a fit about it to my fiance and tried to cause a bit of drama...which blew up in her face.  I considered including her to keep the peace but she's  repeatedly done things since our engagement to make me think I was right to keep her out. 

    I figure let the sister be mad about it.  She's gotta see you the rest of her life, she'll move on and find something totally new to complain about.

    Stacie
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