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Just needed to vent about not getting a say!

CamryCamry member
First Comment
in Washington
My fiance and I hade carefully selected 75 people that we were inviting to our wedding.  His sister asked if we would invite some friends of the family and distant relatives that were important in her life.  When we said no, we wanted it to be a smaller wedding with only people we have senn in at least hte last decade, she complained to my future father in law (the one paying for the wedding) and he yelled at us about hte "ettiquette of who we HAD to invite".  What?!?!  I thought it was supposed to be people imortant to us?  Not her!  She already had her wedding!  Let us have ours! 
We caved and now are inviting 132 people, and most of those she added are having invites titled "so and so and family".  So much for that!
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Re: Just needed to vent about not getting a say!

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    MrsWalters2BeMrsWalters2Be
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    WOW!! I'm sorry you had to do that!!! What did your Fiance say??
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    CamryCamry member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    He was pissed too, but we concieded since his dad is paying.
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    MrsWalters2BeMrsWalters2Be
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    MAN!!! that sucks!! I'm sorry you have to deal with this... 
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    clairemarie82clairemarie82
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Boo.  I've got a similar thing going... except it's that I have 60 family members, and though I've seen them all in the last decade, it's completely a formality  to invite all of them when we want something smaller.  It also cuts back on the friends we invite, which sucks.  I feel for you... just hope that they can't all make it!  :)
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    Traceyd14Traceyd14
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington_just-needed-vent-not-getting-say?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:633Discussion:641f9890-b565-49d1-8aee-cc0e25f853bePost:6153ae1b-6246-43e9-a30e-47cdf867e3d1">Re: Just needed to vent about not getting a say!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Boo.  I've got a similar thing going... except it's that I have 60 family members, and though I've seen them all in the last decade, it's completely a formality  to invite all of them when we want something smaller.  It also cuts back on the friends we invite, which sucks.  I feel for you... just hope that they can't all make it!  :)
    Posted by clairemarie82[/QUOTE]

    I feel your pain - we tried to limit our guest list to only family & friends that we celebrate Christmas with...that only got the list to 72....we both have big families that all live local so will most likely be able to attend.  I was hoping to stay around 75-100 but that means all of our fun friends would be cut out to make room for family...who I love dearly and want to share my day with, but I want a fun occasion. 

    I am sorry you got stuck in a position to have to invite people that you weren't planning on, but I would say look on the bright side and be grateful that your FIL is picking up the tab....we are paying for our own and the only way we get to invite friends that we want there, will be to up the number of guests.
    We ran off to Vegas and got married!
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    playazsweetnessplayazsweetness
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know it sucks, but if you're father in law is paying for it and HE wants to invite people, he should be allowed to. However, you need to talk with his sister and explain to her that it is your wedding, not hers:)
    Good Luck!
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    drkswifey2bdrkswifey2b member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I guess I am not seeing the big deal if your FFIL is paying for it. However, I can see the big deal if he set a certain budget for the day and you now have to cut things out to accomidate those extra people.

    Maybe FI can have a sit down dinner with FFIL and talk  to him about it with out his sister there.

    M
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    JulezG85JulezG85
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I feel your pain. I just went through that with my mom. Yes they are paying for it but like you said this is suppose to be the bride and grooms day. Whatever... that is SOOO not true. Hope you are doing better.
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    ksheahan18ksheahan18
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I guess the way my fiance and I looked at it when our parents asked us to invite extra people was: we don't want our wedding to ruin any relationships for our parents.  That said, they are helping pay for quite a bit of the wedding and have said they will cover the cost if all those extra people decide to come.
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