How do I tell people "no off registery gifts?"

NoinHime · December 2009

Is there a best/polite way to tell people that you do not, under any circumstances, want off registery gifts? Or is it perfectly acceptable for me to simply say "no off registery gifts please"?

Thanks!

Pirata13 · December 2009

No. You graciously accept any gifts people are willing to give you, and if there is something you don't like or want, you return it.

kmt_cas · December 2009

Absolutely not. Sorry.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

No. That would be incredibly rude. When someone gets you a gift, you should always gratiously thank them. Doing anything like this would make you look like a brat.

AdeleDazeem · December 2009

oh dear.

Dictating gifts is never okay.

NoinHime · December 2009

Thank you everyone for your upfront and honest advice. Really truly.

I will definitly NOT be telling anyone that now! Thanks for cutting me off before I said something I would regret!

I think I was just overly worried that I would get something I didn't want that would be unreturnable (i.e. No receipt). However I think I just need to relax and cross that bridge when I come to it.

Thanks again!

AdeleDazeem · December 2009

good luck, NoinHime!

For what it's worth, I understand where you were coming from... but the minute you step outside that mindset, you realize how horrible saying anything will come across.

Enjoy that crazy lamp from Aunt Mildred.

Pirata13 · December 2009

Most people these days do gift receipts, and often if people don't want to buy off the registry, they give you cash. While you may end up with a thing or two you don't want/can't return, in most cases people are pretty savvy on these things. Give people the benefit of the doubt.

banana468 · December 2009

You can't tell people what to buy you.

And while DH and I have received some doozies, some of our favorite gifts were also not on our registry.

KappaK · December 2009

I for one am excited that finally someone got told "no absolutely not", and didn't get their panties in a knot.

NoinHime · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_tell-people-off-registery-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:4caece25-397f-4c98-869a-fa8fcc8b8b66Post:ae4e16cb-c615-4c45-a3d6-c841853d61df">Re: How do I tell people "no off registery gifts?"</a>:
[QUOTE]Most people these days do gift receipts, and often if people don't want to buy off the registry, they give you cash. While you may end up with a thing or two you don't want/can't return, in most cases people are pretty savvy on these things. <strong>Give people the benefit of the doubt.</strong>
Posted by Pirata13[/QUOTE]
Yes that is what I'm going to do. Sorry if I didn't make that clear enough in my last post.

[QUOTE]I for one am excited that finally someone got told "no absolutely not", and didn't get their panties in a knot.
Posted by <a href="http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/user/default.aspx?membershipid=4406358171321406&plckUserId=4406358171321406" target="_blank" class="username_knot">KappaK</a>[/QUOTE]
LOL. Thanks :)

Yeah, I've seen that a lot on forums. But it'd be pretty silly of me, after such a clear opinion from everyone that makes sense, to not take the advice.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

I'm glad you took the advice well.

But don't worry too much. We had a registry and got a few things off registry, wine and art. Even though my family is pretty white trash, the pieces are actually all really tasteful and pretty and ended up being some of our favorite gifts.

I've heard stories chili pepper lamps, but I think people aren't as clueless as we think they are. And if you do get a chili pepper lamp, you can always ebay it.

quotequeen · January 2010

I also think it's likely that the person who is going to give you that hideous item with no gift receipt will probably give it to you no matter what you say. It's just part of weddings.

kristinanddan · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_tell-people-off-registery-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:4caece25-397f-4c98-869a-fa8fcc8b8b66Post:3146c7fa-c00a-47aa-aa6d-b87eaaa36c84">Re: How do I tell people "no off registery gifts?"</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you everyone for your upfront and honest advice. Really truly. I will definitly NOT be telling anyone that now! Thanks for cutting me off before I said something I would regret!<strong> I think I was just overly worried that I would get something I didn't want that would be unreturnable (i.e. No receipt).</strong> However I think I just need to relax and cross that bridge when I come to it. Thanks again!
Posted by NoinHime[/QUOTE]

We got a few of these - all from the same person! We went out one Saturday and decided to take them to every major store until we found out where they came from so that we could return them for credit. Well lucky us, we started at Kohls, and they took them all back because they sold all of them, even though I realized later that one of the items had a macys gift receipt taped to it.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · January 2010

A lot of people say their favorite gifts are off-registry. Personally, I think that people who buy off registry gifts usually know the couple REALLY well and want to give them something that's a surprise that they know they'll love. Or possibly a family heirloom. Or, it's your great-aunt who's on a fixed income. Whatever.

Think about this: even if you get something just awful, at least you'll think about the person who gave it to you every time you see it! FI's friend is known for those kind of gifts so I fully expect something fabulously horrible for the wedding.

bablingbrooke · January 2010

We definitely got some off-registry gifts, but as PP said, they actually wound up being some of the most meaningful that we received, like the custom-designed decorative bowl with our names and wedding date engraved on the bottom sent by DH's friend.

And if you get the alligator lamp with no receipt, then some lucky duck at the Goodwill will make your trash their treasure.

rainsfallsoftly · January 2010

And if it's horribly ugly and you can't return it, it stays in the closet until those people visit, gets displayed while they are there, and then goes back to the closet.

ladybirda · January 2010

While you can't tell people that, what you can do is give them a good selection of gifts to choose from. Personally, I've been tempted to go off registry when I procrastinate and the only gifts left are things like pot holders or stuff way outside my price range. I'm not saying register for the whole store, just make sure you give people options.

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