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Wedding Troubles

KendraA2010KendraA2010
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in Chit Chat
I have been planning my wedding for 10 months. I am finally finished with everything and as excited as I can be. The big day will be coming up in August. I have had a lot of issues with my family and bridesmaids (ex: mom going to jail, maid of honor stepping down, and cousin dropping out of the wedding and lying about the reason), but I have tried to keep my head up and think that it doesn't matter because this our special day.

Well tonight I was discussing final travel details for our out of state family with my fiance and we started fighting our of the blue. He proceeds to tell me that he is excited about marrying me, but he doesn't care anything about the wedding itself. He said. "It is just another day for me and I would just be fine with getting married at the court house." I am absolutely crushed by this. It wouldn't be so bad if his words were not said in anger. He was so upset that he got a nosebleed.

I have always dreamed of my man being excited by the idea of our wedding and being nervous to see me walk down the aisle. I am afraid now the only thing I will be able to think of is the fact he doesn't even want to be doing this. I feel like I am the only person who wants this wedding to even take place.
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Re: Wedding Troubles

  • Amaryllis619Amaryllis619 member
    First Comment
    I think it's relatively normal to be stressed like this as your wedding gets closer. I know my FI and I have gotten into some pretty dumb fights as it gets closer.

    I do have to say that my FI is excited to marry me and be my husband, but couldn't care less about the details of the wedding itself.  Initially I was sad that he wasn't into everything like me, but I realized that guys just aren't into the little details.  I've noticed that as the day gets closer, he has begun to be more excited about it. 

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  • andy71781andy71781 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Ditto PP.  My FI says that the day will not change our relationship and that we've been married since we moved in together.  I know he'll get emo on the big day though. 
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  • katieanne85katieanne85
    First Comment
    my, Fi too, has said that he is excited to be marrying me, but the wedding isnt as important to him, while we were arguing about wedding details. In my case it was because he felt that the stress wasnt worth it and was frustrated I didnt like many of his ideas. We talked and now he is excited for the wedding itself, like PP's fi. But still not as much as me.
    Guys just arent as into the details.
    The fact that it was said in anger sucks and is hurtful, but the fact itself may be benign. I hope you both resolvee this and have a great wedding!

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  • Kristin&ericKristin&eric
    First Comment
    I agree with the ladies, my FI has told me he would go to the court house tomorrow and would marry me if thats what i want, but he knows its not so he is down for the wedding. He gets a lil invovled in things, mainly the big things, reception site, food, tux's the band and well thats probably it. I bet since it was a fight it just came out wrong, i have notice the things my fiance says that seem mean, well he just didnt know how mean they came out till i said something. Just talk to him calmly about it.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    FWIW, my FI didn't give a damn about planning the wedding. When we went to the courthouse to get our license he looked over at the alter they had set up for JOP weddings and was like "it would be so easy...." He wanted to be married to me, but wasn't interested in the wedding. He gave me his opinion when I asked, but other than that he jsut said I could do it however I wanted to. Worked for me!

    BUT, on the day of the wedding he had a great time. he said he wasn't nervous at all, but on the video you see him chomping seriously hard on a piece of gum so obviously he was!
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  • bbyckesbbyckes member
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_wedding-troubles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:a0769d89-2282-4356-a134-21f83afc8ce4Post:edfcdc29-9ee3-4a24-b42c-a7ba13ad4ce7">Re: Wedding Troubles</a>:
    [QUOTE]FWIW, my FI didn't give a damn about planning the wedding. When we went to the courthouse to get our license he looked over at the alter they had set up for JOP weddings and was like "it would be so easy...." He wanted to be married to me, but wasn't interested in the wedding. He gave me his opinion when I asked, but other than that he jsut said I could do it however I wanted to. Worked for me! BUT, on the day of the wedding he had a great time. Posted by Seshat411[/QUOTE]

    This is what I'm completely expecting from FI.  He has said on multiple occassions that he would be happy with just going to the courthouse.  I don't get offended or hurt by this - even though it makes me a little bothered because of all the work that I've put into the planning - but, I fully expect for him to have the best time on our wedding day.  It's okay, he'll be happy after everything is over and done. :)
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  • solemnlyswearsolemnlyswear member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    My FH and I had a total role reversal, I was the one who just said let's go the courthouse. But he told me that he wanted to see me walk down the aisle and have a dress. And everything that comes with it. My FH have compromised because I know he doesn't really care what color the table clothes are.So we sat and talked about the things he would like to have a say in. i.e. the food, the cake, and the beverages. I am sure your FH was just saying it because he was angry and he will be grateful for everything you did.
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