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No registry

ginagina48ginagina48
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum

My fiance and I are not a young first time married couple. We have basically everything we need in terms of items on a gift registry. We do not actually want to have a registry and would rather have monetary gifts in lieu of toasters, towels, and tableware. Is this an inappropriate request and if not how do you word such a request?

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Re: No registry

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No, it is never polite to ask people for money. Either don't register or just create a small registry and people will get the hint.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • ginagina48ginagina48
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:c31094ee-bc96-4f7c-8241-bbd2523a92a6Post:55634c18-ab6f-403e-b960-de21058b908c">Re: No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can't ask people to give you money. People know money is a good gift. When they see you haven't registered they will either pick a gift for you or give money if they are so inclined.
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Thank you Liatris. I just received an invitation that they only wanted monetary gifts and since I want the same I had no problem with it but I did not want to do anything that was in considered bad form. The first time I got married I was young and just starting out and needed everything. Now I am a few years older (lol) and don't really need most things on a registry. I will definately take your advise on this, thanks again.
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  • ginagina48ginagina48
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:c31094ee-bc96-4f7c-8241-bbd2523a92a6Post:b8ac9106-b5cb-4160-9ab9-282283447d92">Re: No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]No, it is never polite to ask people for money. Either don't register or just create a small registry and people will get the hint.
    Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

    Thanks for the advice and congrats on the anniversary!
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  • Blue_BirdBlue_Bird member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_no-registry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:c31094ee-bc96-4f7c-8241-bbd2523a92a6Post:0216b07c-234e-46b1-84e8-10444faffcf3">No registry</a>:
    [QUOTE]My fiance and I are not a young first time married couple. We have basically everything we need in terms of items on a gift registry. We do not actually want to have a registry and would rather have monetary gifts in lieu of toasters, towels, and tableware. Is this an inappropriate request and if not how do you word such a request?
    Posted by ginagina48[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it's an inappropriate request. In actuality, your situation is more common than any other. Almost every married couple my age (mid-30s) was a pretty-established adult with a home before marrying. If you don't need anything to set up your home, then don't ask for anything. It's pretty simple. :)
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  • jchollawayjchollaway
    First Comment
    My fiancee and I have both been married before. I'm 37 and he's 45. We have kids and we've been living together for 4 years. So we have everything too......

    However, I went on Bed Bath & Beyond and found stuff that I don't necessarily "need" but would like to have. One thing we don't have is a fine china set, so I registered for one. It's $50/place setting so I figure people can afford that. The kids could use new bed pillows so I added that. We entertain a lot, and I realized I don't have a good veggie-serving tray so I added that. Plus a dessert server. Then I found these mini-dessert cups and cookbook.....  before I knew it, I had added 40 items to my list. 

    Give it a shot. Go online "window shopping" and see if there are some "wants" as opposed to "needs." 
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  • Nikah4MeNikah4Me
    First Comment
    I did a search recently on the etiquette of asking for monetary gifts besides the actual gifts. Anyway it was saying a subtle way would be to tell your parents and in-laws how you are hoping for monetary as you are already established in your home..that way both sets of parents kind of relay the information to everyone else.

    I already had a similar conversation with an Aunt and older sister (before I read this online) and they themselves also agreed that I need monetary and said they would kind of throw it out into the universe in discussing my wedding with other family members. Works for me! Smile

    Also, I read up about a site called honeyfund or something like that. That's a monetary site that is geared toward things like: home savings, trips, flights etc that your guest can make 'purchase' on.
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