Chit Chat

How much to give as wedding gift?

I'm going to a friend's wedding tomorrow, and I feel like an idiot, but I have no idea how much money I should give her as a gift.  When it's a close friend, I typically give $100.  But I don't know this girl very well, and we haven't been friends very long.  She just casually invited me 2 weeks before the wedding via email because she's way under count.  How much would you give?  I don't have time to go shopping for a gift. 

Re: How much to give as wedding gift?

  • I would give $50.00.
  • I'd go with what you can comfortably afford.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • To avoid having to figure this out, I'd find out where she's registered.  Shop later wen you have time and just give her a gift after the wedding.

  • You could choose something from her registry and send it after the wedding. The $50 range  sounds appropriate for the circumstances. Did she actually tell you that she was inviting you because she was under count?
  • See below;

    Don't Spend Less Than $50

    It's a bad idea to use the price-per-plate as a measure for how much you should spend on the wedding gift -- you wouldn't give your best friend a less expensive gift just because she was having a more casual affair. Spend what you think is appropriate to your relationship to the couple, and also consider what's reasonable in your city. Here's the ballpark you should be aiming for:

    • Coworker and/or a distant family friend or relative: $50-$75
    • Relative or friend: $75-$100
    • Close relative or close friend: $100-$150+


    That's from this website:

    http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/attending-wedding/articles/5-rules-of-wedding-gift-giving.aspx

  • I would give $100, just because i would feel guilty givin less.  But in this case, I probably would skip the cash gift altogether and find out where she is registered.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_much-give-wedding-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:43b92870-c917-48db-8062-886532aca32bPost:d69c6254-a396-4bb4-897d-6878b2432eb3">Re: How much to give as wedding gift?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I honestly usually spend about $25 for shower gifts or wedding presents.
    Posted by LindsaymR[/QUOTE]

    yeah, that's about what I spend too.  Poor grad student here!  Well, I was until August, but I haven't been to any weddings since then.  And I'm engaged to a poor med student.  Granted, until we were engaged we each got a gift, even if only one of us could attend.  Especially if you're buying shower and a wedding gift, I think it's reasonable.

    I think knot is way off the mark here.
  • I agree with both of Jenn.Daniel's posts.  Give a gift off of her registry even if you have to do it after the wedding.  I also think that $50 seems high, espeically in this economy.  I usually don't go higher than $40 unless it's someone that I'm super close with. 
    Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  • $50.00 sounds decent to me :)

  • No way that is way to cheap! $25 doesn't even pay for one meal. Especially if you bring a guest! $50 at least. If you can't afford to go then don't!
  • Personally, I would feel guilty giving less than $100 - $125 per person invited (so my fiance and I usually give between $200 - $300 depending on how close we are to the couple). I think that may have to do with the area in which we live though as well (Long Island, NY).
  • I agree, I know someone said that you shouldn't judge the venue or price of your meal, rather you relationship with the couple....however $50 is probably the low-average cost of a meal, plus booze too....you should at least cover for your meal, and if you are closer then you can give more.
  • This is so hard... what about traveling a long distance (paying over $500 for lodging and flight)?  I had this situation recently, I think I ended up spending $60 on the gift and luckily this was because I had a coupon from Bed Bath and Beyond where they were registered!
    If people my age are traveling a long distance to my wedding, I would expect about the same.
  • Wow...I really don't ever think of spending on someone what they spent on me for the wedding.  First of all, a lot of the time their parents are paying for the food, etc., so it really makes no sense for you to "pay them back" for that, they're getting 100% profit off of it anyway.  (I know this isn't always the case, it actually isn't even in my own wedding.  We're paying for most of it ourselves, and I still don't expect people to be "paying me back."  I'm inviting people because I want them there, not because I expect something out of them!)  Anyway, I also would NOT give $50.  I am a poor college student as well, and even $25 is hard for me to just have extra to give.  I would also wait and just get a gift later, because you can generally spend much less, but not look cheap.  Giving cash will always feel cheap, because $50 really isn't much in the whole scheme of things (yes I realize I'm sounding contradictory here---it's a lot to me!), but a gift from their registry can go a long way.  Anyway this is super long, but I just thought it was crazy when someone said that if you can't afford to go to the wedding, don't go.  It's not like you're paying to get in!!!!  That just appalled me.  I hope the people whose weddings I go to don't feel this way!
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  • edited June 2012
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