What is that extra 20% really for?

Leeler · June 2010

Hi ladies!

I had two eye-opening experiences this weekend, and am hoping you'll comment.

At one venue, the coordinator called the mandatory gratuity fee a "house service fee" and told me that the no one on the staff would be getting tipped from that fee.

I was like, ew--yuck! She told me it was to cover the costs of operating the building (I suspect it was bull--and that the 20% house fee was just to make the prices higher without the per person going up). She said if I wanted to tip the staff I could, but that some people don't.

The second place I went to, Grand Hotel, had no gratiuity fee at all, said that those kinds of charges are shady because they rarely go to staff, and also pointed out that for my small wedding (75 ppl) I would only have a handful of servers...and leaving a mandatory 20% to them might actually be excessive. The woman we met with, Rachel, was refreshingly candid.

What's going on here? I feel so grossed out about this...

I'd asked "what do people in catering get paid for waiting tables" and they told me they get more than the usual $4 etc., but that it's probabaly between $8-12 per hour. Given how much money is made on a wedding, that seems so tiny to me! A tip definately seems in order for waitstaff.

But I'd always thought that a gratiuty was what it said it was... a tip!

Sorry for any typos, etc. It's early.

Thank you in advance for chiming in!

ktwed09 · June 2010

I agree with you that the 20% service fee is ridiculous, and that it's very hard to get a clear answer about what it is used for. I was also told it wasn't gratuity, and the staff doesn't receive it. In fact, based on what you were told about it being to cover the operating costs of the building, I'm wondering if you weren't at my venue (the Grandview) as I was told the same thing. In the end, I just thought of the per person charge as the base charge + the service fee, and determined if I could afford it. I loved my venue, but I do agree that the service charge is a little shady.

On another note, I find it funny that someone at the Grand told you such charges are shady, being that the people that own the Grand also own the Grandview and charge one of those "shady fees".

dr_mrs.king · June 2010

What was the first place you went to?

I'm meeting with Rachel at Grand tomorrow and the other place I'm going to seems to charge that 20% as well (it's in small print on the wedding package sheet)..
I'm just as curious as you here..

Crissyo · June 2010

Just want to say that if someone says their rate is $85 a head for example...it really isn't...Always ask what is per head with service charage and tax included...that way you realy know if you can afford it or not...
Good luck!

Bat937 · June 2010

When I booked Pok Grand, the gratuity was included and they did refer to it as a gratuity. I liked it because I knew exactly what I was paying and they were worth every penny and more.
The only people I tipped outside of that were our personal server and the matre'd(sp). We let the bartenders put out the tip jars since everyone always tips them anyway.

Leeler · June 2010

LOL! ok--

We went to Dutchess Golf Club (where they said it was a service fee, not a tip).

We also went to grand hotel, where they said there was no mandatory service fee or tip.

:-)

The only place I've been to that doesn't charge a service/gratuity is Grand Hotel. The weddings seems to get good ratings, but the rooms are subpar and one reviewer complained of bedbugs (Matt found the review, not me, and you always have to take reviews with a grain of salt). I really did like it there tho, but Matt wasn't crazy about it!

jamiefour · June 2010

I don't think that villa borghese charges the 20% but I am not positive.

ktwed09 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_extra-20-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:dd2aa153-6eff-46d1-a79d-ec2cc13d3724Post:9fa722ed-59f2-4954-82b4-de893e973b8c">Re: What is that extra 20% really for?</a>:
[QUOTE]The only place I've been to that doesn't charge a service/gratuity is Grand Hotel. The weddings seems to get good ratings, but the rooms are subpar and one reviewer complained of bedbugs (Matt found the review, not me, and you always have to take reviews with a grain of salt). I really did like it there tho, but Matt wasn't crazy about it!
Posted by Leeler[/QUOTE]

When you say "the rooms are subpar" do you mean the hotel rooms, or the wedding/banquet rooms? As I said above, we had our reception at the Grandview which is owned by the same people who own the Grand and AP9. Part of our package was 5 rooms at the Grand, plus one of the honeymoon suites for the night of the wedding. In addition, the vast majority of our guests stayed in this hotel. The rooms (especially the suite) were beautiful(in fact, they're all recently renovated, as is the lobby), and clean. Like you said, you have to take each review with a grain of salt, but we had no issues.

TerriandJoe · June 2010

Hi. I just want to comment. The service fee or gratuity or tip (whatever they call it) rarely goes to the wait staff. It is most likely used by the venue for paying them. As well as the bartenders and kitchen staff. And other employees.

But that 20% isn’t going them entirely.

I spent over two years working at a catering hall. And I knew they were NOT doing my wedding. I also mentioned my experiences when we looked because I was really particular with what I did not want at a venue.

But anyway, I was paid either $80 or $85 per event. (Sweet 16’s and Quinceneras were $80. Weddings were $85. I don’t remember what I got for Bar Mitzvahs, but it was one of those. Any other type of event was $65.)

This in no way was the 20% service fee that some venues charge.

(for example – 100 people at $100 per person. That would have $2000 service fee added. Many places have 1 server per every 14 or so people. So at a max this event would have 8 servers. Do you really think they are making $250 per event????)

My brothers friend is a maitre d’ at another place. I asked him what those servers get he said $85 or 90 at his spot. And he told me another place also paid a firm $85 per event. This was when I was looking to see if I was getting paid properly after 2 years.

My old boss used to be a head waitress at a place and made “not even $100” for all the work she did for a wedding.

So the staff is not getting the money.

Like pp said about some places give you a quote of $85 plus tax and tip.

Which brings you to approximately $108 per person. After factoring in 20% service fee and tax.

Others will already include it in the price you get. So the quote you $100 plus tax. Which is also that $108. But it’s already added in. So you never see a 20% mysterious service fee on your bill.

If you like the place, and are ok with the overall per person price (after including tax and tip) then definitely go for it. But you need to be ok with what the final cost will be. (And watch out for “bartender fees”, “maitre d’ gratuities” and “bridal attendant fees”.)

Most places will have one or more of these charges. So don’t rule a place out because they have them listed.

BUT if a fee of any sort is listed – ask who gets the money. And what it goes for. And make sure you get and “special” prices in writing!!! (Like if that $85 per person place plus tax and tip, says they will do $90 plus tax. Make sure it gets written down!)

Sorry so long. Good luck!

Leeler · June 2010

ktwed09 - maybe the reviewer experienced an isolated incident. We looked at the rooms and they looked fine to me. Thanks for chiming in.

TerriandJoe - thanks for this. I waited tables for a bit too, and I do want to make sure we treat the people at our wedding as good as we possibly can.

TerriandJoe · June 2010

When we were looking we were able to get a great deal from our venue (partly because when we looked we said that we were looking for Fall 2009 / first half 2010.) We locked in a great rate. And then we gave the servers an additional tip at the end of the night. We had 8 servers, plus the bridal attendant. We gave each server $20 and our attendant $50. We were required to give our maitre d' $300. So that's what she got.

I knew that I wanted to give the waitstaff something because I knew what it was like to work at an event and get nothing for it. $20 isn't much - but is much appreciated! And I handed the money to them individually to make sure they got it.

Good luck!

What is that extra 20% really for?

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