Second Weddings

Help with present idea for future stepdaughter who is 11-does she already have enough?

Hi all.

This board is great for second weddings. Brief background-FI is in his 40s, I am 31. Second marriage for me, third for him. He has two children- a son who is 18 who lives with us and an 11 year old daughter who he shares joint custody with her mom (so she's with us half the time). We are getting married in Las Vegas with just the us, the two kids, and a family friend.

While in Vegas, I have little presents every day for each person. We wil lbe there for 5 days. The presents are based on each person's likes, etc (ex. the boy is getting a Zombie Survival Kit, FI is getting a personalized framed print, etc) and are often sentimental or funny. We also bought a Fossil watch for the son as his big present for the wedding since he is the best man. My question is regarding the little girl. I bought her jewelry at Claire's so it's cute but still costume jewelry. I am already paying for her hair and light makeup (I.E. eyeshadow, body glimmer lotion, and lip gloss). I then thought should we get her a really nice small pair of diamond earrings (studs)? I just don't want her to feel slighted in regards to not getting something significant like her brother. She is however getting a personalized robe, bag, One direction bracelet, new dress, shoes,purse, etc). Where it stands now, I have spent about the same on both children for presents for the week. Fi has given me the green light to buy the earrings if I want (they will be less than $100 so age appropriate). Advice?

FYI the wedding is in the middle of a great family vacation where we are going to shows and doing fun family events in Vegas. The kids will already be seeing a Cirque du soleil show, a medieval show, a magic show and staying in an amazing house with our own pool, etc. We wanted a vacation to remember forever and not have the day about just us but us as a family.

Re: Help with present idea for future stepdaughter who is 11-does she already have enough?

  • Wow, that's tough.  I think if you're spending the same ammount on both, then you're probably okay.  To be honest, that's already more presents than I got for any Christmas when I was a kid, so it already sounds like a lot to me.   

    Do you think she's responsible enough for diamond studs?  I ask this because I got my first pair when I was much older than she is (I think I was probably 20), and it was only a few weeks before I lost one of them.  The small ones are especially easy to lose if she ever has to take them off for gym class or whatever.  
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  • When money equals out, I try to balance the number of gifts as well.  So if DD is getting one $$$ gift, and DS is getting 3 $ gifts, the money is equal, but he'll be receiving once she's done.  So I might get DD 2 very tiny additional gifts to balance it out. 
    So in your case, if she has more presents and equal money, I'd leave it alone. 
    Basically, I'd handle it the same way you handle other gift giving occasions.  ~Donna
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_help-with-present-idea-for-future-stepdaughter-who-is-11-does-she-already-have-enough?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:fd7f69f4-e65b-4e2d-bd10-22ff9e05954aPost:78aad208-5cc8-44ff-a3eb-62f762352633">Help with present idea for future stepdaughter who is 11-does she already have enough?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi all. <strong>This board is great</strong> . Posted by crazynlove2011[/QUOTE]

    Plus - I fixed that ^ for you.  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
  • My DSD was almost 18 when we got married, and that night she lost the back to a pair of my earrings that she borrowed - so that said I would hold off on the diamond earrings until she at least graduates high school.

    If the money spent is equal and the number of gifts are equal then I would say you are done. 
  • That is tough. I agree she is pretty young for anything with real gems, but here's my thought:

    Do you have any nice, personal jewelry you'd like to share with her? For example, I have one son, one daughter. I have given my daughter my emerald birthstone ring (it doesn't fit me anymore). It was more a sentimental gift, and something I don't miss.

    She was my MOH for the wedding, but 16 at the time. I purchased her a black & white diamond heart shaped pendant that was on sale at K-Mart when they had their real gems on sale for like 70% off. Not sure that's a good idea for an 11 year old, but if you can find a great bargain, it might be worth it for something small but real.

    Another thought would be that you could give her a small box with a handwritten note, telling her that when you guys get back home you will take her somewhere special. It will be just the 2 of you and you can decide what might make her feel important.

    Good luck.
  • My junior bridesmaids will be my 8 yr. old daughter and 10 yr. old step-daughter.  I feel it's enough that I'm paying for their dresses, shoes, costume jewelry, and hair to be done on the wedding day.  I'm def. not giving any more than that, lol!

    I think the diamond studs are a nice idea.  You can find them for a reasonable price at Kohl's, Walmart or K-Mart! 
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  • I'm not sure what to recommend, but I do not recommend real diamonds for an 11 year old.  CZ will be just fine.
  • My daughter is 12, and I agree with those who are saying she likely won't appreciate the diamonds as much as adults would. She might also stress over losing them to the point of not wanting to wear them, if you make it a big-deal gift. My daughter loves the trendy multipack earrings at Claires and would prefer getting those over diamonds any day. You know your DD best and I'm sure whatever you decide will be a big hit. Have fun in Vegas !!!
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  • Even if you don't get her the diamond earrings, a sentimental gift that can grow with her would be great, say a gold necklace , like one of those open-heart key necklaces, or a charm bracelet that you can add to as she gets older (religious events, drivers liscence/car, special vacations, HS graduation, etc). She is a little young for diamonds, but if she is responsible enough to handel jewelry then go for it.

    Would there be any backlash from her mother? Just something to think about; if she's vindictive be wary!
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