I am officially 7 days away from my wedding. I wish I had discovered these community boards a long time ago - but I guess it took fear and desperation for me to unconver them.
I - AM - FREAKING - OUT! So much has happened. Basically my lovely girlfriend (soon to be wife!) asked me to marry her last December. We had been planning for a 2011 wedding but in fear of having a huge wedding she talked me into having a small wedding in Des Moines, IA. We are both from Denver, CO - own a home out here together - and hope to start a family very soon!
To make a long story short - our wedding changed to September 26th back in June and it's been busy busy, stress stress ever since. I felt that I should try and just lay the whole story out on here while I still can. Well - a short version.
We have been making our wedding as traditional as possible - mainly because I'm a girly girl and have always wanted that but also to make a grand stand to our families that this is the real deal. We are getting married in a state where it's legal and even though Colorado doesn't recognize same sex marriage at least we know that in other states it is recognized. I'm also changing my last name to hers - I don't like it as much as mine but I'm really determined to prove to the world that we are the exact same as any straight couple. The only thing we will have to worry about is being mistaken for sisters with the same last name!
I think we are just about good to go. I bought my dress AGES ago - it's a typical princess dress - crazy poufy with the veil and all. I'm very excited about it. My lovely Wife-To-Be is wearing something akin to what Ellen wore at her wedding...I think! We aren't allowed to see each other's outfits until the wedding but from what I have been told in secret it's something like it which is exciting. We are going with cupcakes and a top tier wedding cake - we are using all Iowa vendors and after the wedding I will try and post my experiences with all of the vendors for future reference for anyone who is getting married in Iowa. Our colors are Watermelon and Black.
We are going with a non-religious ceremony (my partner is agnostic, and I'm Buddhist but there really is only a tea ceremony that Buddhists use for the most part there isn't a ceremony specifically for buddhists so I'm not leaning that way) - we will say at the end that we are partners in marriage (or something like that). I can say with absolute certainty right now that the officiant we chose is horrible. We went on the Iowa gay wedding directory and found Nicole through the Marriage Pros and I'm not sure whether or not it's normal for officiants to double book and generally be ambivalent towards a ceremony but she certainely is. I pretty much had to create the ceremony myself and she is never available to meet. So for anyone getting married in Iowa...you might want to avoid them. UNLESS someone here has used the Marriage Pros and had a good experience? Maybe she won't be as lame at the wedding? I'm hoping she even bothers to show up!
At the moment I am freaking out over trying to create a playlist for our dinner rehearsal. We are getting married on a riverboat so they don't have a dance floor so we are doing dancing the night before at the dinner rehearsal. We decided not to go with a DJ and will just use an IPOD. Most of 'our' songs are punk songs so they don't make for good dancing. I'm struggling to make a balanced playlist but I pretty much have every genre and need to figure out how to place it all together. Super stressful!
Also - paying for a wedding yourself is super crazy stressful. I'm finding myself watching every penny I spend and then when I have to spend anything on the wedding I freak out even more.
We are also writing our own vows - both of us are having the hardest time ever. I think we are both under the impression that these are some of the most important words we will ever say to each other and the pressure is on. We have been together on and off for six years and have to admit that it's almost like we are already married - and it's really hard to feel romantic admist all this stress.
I also really want to write some sort of political speech - not totally political - but I really want to convey the importance of our wedding to our family and friends. I want to prove to them that we aren't joking around and that this is real. I want to share the horrible struggles of other couples and express our great fortune at being able to be married legally. I haven't even started thinking about it yet and again...the wedding is a week away
Yes, I realize this is a novel...I just wanted to share, vent, offer advice. This has been a very crazy experience. Weddings become a life of their own. So far it's incredibly overwhelming (and ours is only a small wedding) but I know that after we will be very happy we did it.
The best part is that after the wedding we are heading for Antigua! We are staying at the Galley Bay Resort - apparently it's amazing and I'm not too sure how gay friendly they are but a review from a gay couple said that they had a good trip. It's a British Virgin Island and I think I've been told the British are actually quite tolerable of gay people. Either way, I'm sure it will be wonderful.
I just can't wait for the stress to be over! And to be a Mrs. to my Mrs.!!! There is so much more but I wanted to keep this...somewhat...short...lol! That really didn't work, did it?