Thank Yous at the Reception

Cocnut0216 · December 2011

Hello ladies,

Do the bride and groom make a small thank you speech to everyone who helped make the wedding happen at the reception? If so, what would you reccommend I do for my situation?

My aunt and uncle have been truly instrumental in everything for the wedding; they planned and hosted the shower, they've opened their house to us everytime we needed to travel (they live where our OOT wedding is), they've given us $ for the photobooth (because they really loved the idea and wanted that to be their gift), and they've been supportive and enthusiastic about the whole ordeal, and were instrumental during the planning and research phase of the wedding.

the Inlaws are traveling from the east coast and FI's family hosted the rehearsal dinner (very generous IMO). They've offered to help the week before with projects, pulling things together, and just the fact they're taking 3 days, spending time and $ to travel, and many have given gifts is just overwhelmingly kind and loving in my opinon. A lot of his family isn't well off, and the fact they made a point to save and plan to be with us really touches me.

My parents on the other hand... let's just say haven't been involved. Their reasoning; "We'll help you as much as what we were helped with." (read: not helping). True, my mom did pay for postage for the StDs and 1/2 of the invite postage, and will maybe have my veil done (she asked to do it, I didn't task her w/ it) by the wedding (she's been "working" on it since August and it's never moved from where she's left it). But they've been adamant that they aren't helping with the wedding. Oh well, it is what it is.

How can I thank those people truly instrumental in our wedding at the reception (if that's something the B&G do) without sounding b****y? Should I just include my parents in a generic thank you speech? I was really hoping to give mad props to my aunt and uncle and don't want to rein in how appreciative i am of their help for fear of making it sound like my family didn't help.

How do you toe this line of showing your deep appreciation for extended family and inlaws without making aloof parents feel unappreciated or embarassed?

Thanks!

whitsy · December 2011

I'd skip the speech entirely, buy those that you want to gifts, and write them really kick ass thank you cards.

aragx6 · December 2011

I would thank them at the RD. When you give a quick toast/speech as the host of your wedding, you should give a more general thank you to everyone in attendance.

rlavach · December 2011

In the weddings I've been to, the B&G do a short TY speech that thanks everyone for coming, hopes everyone enjoys the food & dancing and then thanks all the key plays (WP, parents, family). I've never seen any specific thanks (like thanks Aunt Flo for the photobooth). Like you said, it will probably come off weird that you're thanking them so much & then not your parents. Yes, they contributed more, but that's not the time nor place for it. Thank them privately at your RD or through a card.

Funny enough, my FI didn't even know people did thank you speeches! (I've never been to a wedding without one)

TiffannieF · December 2011

I spoke on behalf of my husband and I and did a thank you speech. I said something along the lines of "There are certain people here today that helped us with wedding specifically whether it was finically, buying the dress (my aunt had just made a speech about how she purchased the dress, it was horrible speech), helping us set up, hosting pre wedding parties and a like but it's everybody here that has brought us here." and I went on about how the lessons we have learned through our relationships have taught us to apply them in our relationship with each other. It wasn't very long but I think if you say something similar with out naming names then you will be fine. More than anything I would give them a sentimental nice gift with a very nice thank you card. And FWIW my dad didn't help us out until the wedding day. Not a single dime until he gave us the gift right then and there. It was $1300 to use on our honeymoon, he wanted to be sure we used it for the honeymoon and that's why he waited. Maybe your parents have more in store for you.