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orthodox ceremony, lutheran reception

nikkilong06nikkilong06
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in Christian Weddings
Looking for some opinions/advice....

FI is Russian Orthodox and I am Lutheran.  We need to get married in the Orthodox Church for the marriage to be recognized by the Church, and there are a lot of traditional rituals we will be performing, but Eastern traditions.... not the Western wedding traditions I am used to and was looking forward to!

For example, there will be no "Here Comes the Bride", no processional, no flowergirl, no Dad giving me away, and no vows.... instead there will be a ring service at the back of the church, the crowning and marriage service at the front of the church, and some more very traditional elements....

My thought is to leave the ceremony as is, Russian Orthodox traditional (I actually have no choice, it is what it is) but have a mini Lutheran wedding ceremony at the start of the reception...  I thought instead of have a big bright fun loud entrance for my FI and myself, to allow the bridal party to enter in that fun fashion and then, to have a western traditional wedding song playing as my FI and I enter, where we will go stand by the cake table, and have my Pastor there to recite the Western traditional vows, possible ring exchange again or ring blessing, and then cut the cake, have a mini sermon with prayer, then eat dinner and carry on with the reception!

thought??? 

Thoughts???
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Re: orthodox ceremony, lutheran reception

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    katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Is there any flexibility allowed with the Orthodox ceremony?

    I think you could do a prayer and a blessing at the reception. Personally, I would not saw your vows again, or exchange rings again. I also think a sermon would be too much. I would have someone say a 2-3 minute blessing instead.

    I would be careful to add too many events so it looks like you are trying to recreate the ceremony because it didn't mean anything. I would decide what you really care most about and think of ways to incorporate it.
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    kkidd28kkidd28 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    What does your FI say about redoing the vows again?  Is he ok with it?   You don't want to downplay anything from the first ceremony by redoing too much.  Maybe have the original reception you dreamed but have something on the tables explaining the differences in the two ceremonies? Or on your programs somewhere explain the orthodox traditions?  That way its not taking away from anything, but just educating. 

    I understand your dilemma but there's got to be a happy compromise somewhere!  Plus you dont want to recreate another ceremony at the reception.  The reception is the celebration of the ceremony, so be festive just like you planned.  Plus after the fun entrance you just planned, you may not be able to calm down to do the rings and vows again - lol!  For me - once I put the ring on, it's not coming back off -lol!

    HTH!
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    Jeffie86Jeffie86
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    edited December 2011
    I, too, am apt to suggest you mix the two at the marriage ceremony, but it sort of sounds like the church might not like that.  Have you talked with the officiant (priest?) about it?

    I also agree that it might be too much to basically have two marriage ceremonies, and it might look like one wasn't good enough. 

    But, alas, I have no other suggestions!  It sounds like the Russian Orthodox ceremony is beautiful in it's own right, but it also seems like a traditional Protestant wedding is important to you, which I can totally understand. 

    Maybe for your first anniversary you could do a vow renewal, Lutheran-style?
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    tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI is Greek Orthodox, I'm Catholic.  I was all for the orthodox ceremony because being married in his church is necessary for him to remain in good standing which is important to him.  It never occurred to me to alter any of it or to have a semi do over at the reception.  This just seems a little insulting to him, his family and their traditions which are about to also become mine and will be those of our children.


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    Casikay09Casikay09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Im getting married in the Ortodox church and you can be given away by your father! Russian ways you dont have to, but you can! You can even choose to meet your groom right a second before you walk in, and walk down together! Il be doing that, so we have a momnet together where we can take a good look at one another! Then the priest opens the door and you follow him into the church! There are options! You just have to talk to the priest, or one of his family members who has been married there before! YOu can have a flower girl, and you can have a ring bearer, since the rins have to come in a be blessed anyways! And Im in an old calendar church! SO if these can pass even in the most traditional church, then they can pass in any orthodox church! And trust me, the service is just so lovely! Instead of sharing your most intimate feelings wih the whole church, the priest, his great grandmother, you can save them for that first private moment you get together after the you leave the church! You could always even say your vows as your speech at the reception but just know your wedding will be beautiful!
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    Kristin&ericKristin&eric
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am getting married in the Orthodox church, it really depends on the preist. My childhood priest is amazed about how traditional our priest is down here. We have to be covered up and not have the normal music. where as he wouldn't mind so much. I would talk to your priest and ask him, whats the worst he can say no?? Ask him to do the engagment ceremony in the fron instead of the back, most priest do it this way these days, that way your dad can walk you down.
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