catholic wedding outside?

dipity427 · September 2010

hi everyone

im new to posting but but heres the story. My FI and i plan on getting married outside at our venue, his mom want us to have a catholic ceremony. i was wondering if your able to have a catholic ceremony outside? my MOH says its hard to married in a catholic church is this true? i dont want to upset his family so im just wondering if it is do able. sorry if this sound a little dumb. just trying to think of how i can keep my future mother in law happy

thanks so much in advance

ring_pop · September 2010

In most cases, a Catholic wedding must be held in a Catholic church.

There is somewhat of a process to be married in the Catholic church. Many, but not all, churches require you to be a registered parishioner before they marry you. This means you must attend mass regularly and make regular donations. As well, you will have to go through some form of marriage preparation with the church. Finally, the marriage ceremony itself will require you to say that you are open to children, and that you will raise them in the Catholic faith.

[Deleted User] · September 2010

Ditto ring_pop. I have always heard that a Catholic ceremony had to be celebrated in a church. But your best bet would be to ask the priest or deacon where you want to get married.

Who is paying for the wedding? If you guys are paying then you decide where you want the ceremony. If you have your heart set on an outside wedding and the church won't let you, then you and your FI will have to make the decision on how important getting married in the Church is. For my husband and I, it was not a hard decision at all.

ootmother2 · September 2010

I have only seen one in my life and that was in Capri, Italy.

Obviouslly, I don't know the circumstances but she was the groom's 3rd wife, numbers one and two were still living and attended the ceremony.

The politics of religion in Italy is amazing!

bibliophile2010 · September 2010

I think the bigger issue here is what you and your FI want. Is he religious? Are you? How are you going to raise your children? If the answer to any of these questions is some version of "Catholic," then I think you need to sit down with a priest and discuss your options. If none of those answers is "Catholic," then I think you (or your FI) needs to kindly but firmly tell his mom that you are not going to have a Catholic ceremony.

That said, most Catholic weddings cannot be celebrated outside of a church. If you want the feel of a Catholic wedding, you can design your non-Church wedding similarly to the liturgy, but it will not be recognized by the Church.

clearheavens · September 2010

Ditto bibliophile, what do you want? How do you and FI view marriage? Catholics believe marriage is a vocation, a divine calling. It has these elements:

-Marriage is permanent, exclusive, and faithful

-It unites you in faithful and mutual love and is sacred in God's plan

-It requires that you must always be open to children

-It is a way to help each other become more holy and ultimately get to Heaven

-It is a way for you to become living symbols of God's love for his people and imitate God's love to others

-The family you is sometimes called a domestic church because it is where you will imitate God's love to each other

Any questions on what these mean, you can ask us, or ask your priest or deacon.

I think you will find useful information in this link:

http://foryourmarriage.org/catholic-marriage/planning-a-catholic-wedding

meganb1977 · September 2010

Unfortunately, it is a restrictive process to get married in the Catholic church. Ultimately, since we did not like our local church which looks like a basement, my fiance and I decided that it was not worth it to us to pay the out of parish fee ($1,000 or more) to a prettier church and we will probably have our ceremony and reception all at one location with an outdoor area for the vows, but we will still take the classes and have our marriage blessed by the church. Agree with pp's that depending who is paying you and your fiance will have to decide what is important to you and be firm in your decision when others are critical. Just get some more information and you'll be able to make the right decision for the two of you.

GulfCoaster · September 2010

Be aware that in most places in the country, getting your marriage "blessed by the Church" (technically called a convalidation) when you marry outside the Church is *not* an easy process. It's just as difficult as getting married in the Church from the get-go, and probably more so because you have to provide good justification for why you got married outside the Church.

If one or both spouses are Catholic, the Church will not recognize their marriage if they are married outside the Church. A convalidation isn't just a blessing of an existing marriage -- it is the actual sacrament, the ceremony at which a real, sacramental marriage will be created for the first time.

If the Catholic faith is important to you, get married in the Church (and yes, this usually means inside a Church building, unless you have special dispensation from the local bishop). If the Catholic faith isn't all that important to you or your fiance, then get married wherever you want. But please don't assume that you'll be able to have the best of both worlds by getting married outside the Church just for a prettier location or an outdoor location or whatever, then assume that the Church will turn around and convalidate your marriage right away. It's not usually that simple.

(Edited to add: Take a look at this site from the Archdiocese of Chicago, for instance, which clearly states that "Since according to the Church the couple is exchanging consent for the first time, all of the requirements for entering the Sacrament of Matrimony must be fulfilled." So it's not like it's an easier process to get married in a pretty garden first, then seek convalidation -- one way or another, there are the same Church requirements for preparation. The length of preparation time might be different for couples that are civilly married, but it will still be the same requirements in most places. http://www.resources.familyministries.org/inthespiritofcana/2.6.9.htm )

dipity427 · September 2010

thanks so much for the information everyone

my FI and i have much to talk about lol

catholic wedding outside?

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