Save the dates confusing people

felkels · April 2010

Okay, I finally sent out my STD cards...a little later than I should have. and they are confusing everyone. I am getting calls like crazy of people thinking their husbands lost the informational content of the letters thinking they were the actual invitation! You would be suprised at how many times that has happened! My mom insisted on us having them, my sister payed for them, and no one I sent one to even knows what in the heck save the dates are! How traditional are they really? This is rediculous. I could have lived without them, as everyone invited already knows when we are getting married. They are turning out to be more hassle than they were worth with all the confused phone calls...okay...I am done now.
:-)

banana468 · April 2010

STDs are relatively new. We only received one prior to tying the knot in Aug 2007 and since then, we've only recieved a handful despite a ton of weddings we've attended.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

We had this, too. It was a magnet, that said "Save the Date" and "Invitation to follow." People still asked me where the RSVP was.

We've gotten one for about half of weddings we've been to in the last 2-3 years, and I got the first one I'd seen in 2004. I guess most of my family doesn't go to as many weddings as we do.

Oh well, they'll figure it out when they get the actual invite.

felkels · April 2010

ours said :save the date:
We're going to the chapel and we gonna get married. We hope you can join us in Portland on July 10, 2010...like the song...but at the top it said save the date. Oh well...it is no big deal, I just can't believe how many women have called me thinking their husbands lost the important part. I thought it was kinda funny!

bfernz · April 2010

We did STDs because we are getting married on a Friday and in the summer. It gives people a heads up and allows them plenty of time to plan accordingly if they want to accomodate it in their schedule.

sarack · April 2010

people in our family had no idea what save the dates were. half of them thought they were the actual invitation.

glam70s · April 2010

People in our circle have no idea what they are.. Our only OOT guests though will be my parents, and you can bet they're very well aware of when the wedding is, so we're not doing save the dates.. I think we would have a similar reaction - tons of confused phone calls and emails...

dazzleme · April 2010

I had the same thing happen. We sent ours out a few months ago when we first got engaged and I still have relatives asking me is that the invite? Or I've heard this comment more than a few times, I wasnt sure if I was getting invited or you were just letting me know you are getting married.

Oh well, they will understan(I hope) when they get their invites. I did word them "formal invitation to follow".

mollykempf · April 2010

We haven't had any issues, but ours looked very informal. Plus most of our guests are coming from out of town, so we thought they were important so that everyone could plan ahead to be there! I've gotten a save the date for every single wedding I've been to in the past 3 years (probably about 12 total) so I think they are getting more popular!

Ours said:

"Save the Date

We're getting married!

September 18, 2010
Nashville, TN

Formal Invitation to follow"

nfp147 · April 2010

We sent an email save the date with the link to our wedding website. We also included a line in the email telling people that a formal inviation would follow and that we would ask them to RSVP online after they got the invite. I still had people emailing to tell me that they couldn't find the RSVP button on the website (which we won't activate until we send the invites!). People just don't read.

amberd · April 2010

I did save the date cards.

I made a little pocket that read:
Save the date June 6

Inside the pocket there was a bookmark. The bookmark read:
Aron & Amber are getting married June 6, 2010 formal invitation to follow

Everyone loved them, they were all hand made and cute as hell. Bought me lots of time to hand make the invites as well. Now I have lovely custom made invites, STD's and Thank You's. Everyone loved them, no confusion on my end.

AqyaBride100110 · April 2010

I'm the first of my friends and family to send one. Although I did have one friend send a "save the date" via text message.
The only consusion we've had is that my FMiL asked how formal the wedding was going to be since it said "formal invitation to follow" and thought we were crazy for having a formal wedding.

odelay · April 2010

We sent out email Save the Dates from mypunchbowl.com to people who needed to make travel and hotel arrangements. I figured by doing an email I would save money and people would not think it was the actual invitation. I think Save the Dates are viewed as a courtesy not a requirement.

tracrey · April 2010

I had to explain to my MIL what STDs were. I explained and told her we were sending out magnets. She was so confused by this and kept thinking that is how I was inviting people to the wedding. Finally when she sort of undertsood, she asked me not to send out the STDs to her side of the family because it would confuse them. I let my FI make the call on that and he said to send them out to his side of the family. We havent had any confused people, but there were a lot of people telling us what a different cool idea a STD magnet is. The last few weddings I've been to I've received a STD.

SheilaTom · April 2010

Funny how it can seem so perfectly clear to us brides, but............

Perhaps yours were too nice and fancy! :-) We sent a photo magnet 4x6 with a poem and haven't had any confusion. We get lots of comments that our faces are on their fridge. :-D

Here's the whole poem, for those interested:

Please place our faces upon your fiidge door
Reserve for our wedding July 24
Mountains, kilts, bagpipes and Celt fare galore
Your smiles we'll remember forevermore!

Tom and Sheila
July 24, 2010
Georgetown, CO
Formal Invitation to Follow

lmrober · April 2010

Weird ... STDs have always been pretty common in our circle. I've gotten a few over the last several years. We only sent one out for our wedding because it was close to a holiday and we wanted everyone to have a chance to plan accordingly. It was just a simple magnet with Save the Date, our names, the date and a note the invitation would follow.

It is pretty funny that some automatically thought the guys lost part of it

*** 23 days til our wedding day ***

ET4TJOD · April 2010

No offense, but, what about "Save the Date" were people confused aboutr? It means simply that, save the date. I had no confusion like this occur when I sent mine out. Though mine had "invitation to follow" printed on it so it was clear that this was simply a heads up.

RACC_2010 · April 2010

I'm surprised to hear of the confusion- I sent mine out months ago and it went very smoothy. I made them on http://www.shutterfly.com and along with a photo of my fiance and I, they only had the date and town with no note saying invitation to follow. I think keeping them simple made it more apparent what they were.

Before I sent mine out I had multiple requests for them and now I can breathe easy knowing the date is on everyone's calendar.

ScrGrl75 · April 2010

Wow! This really makes me think. I've never recieved a STD but we are sending them out because our wedding is on a Thursday in December, not the traditional weekend. Thanks for all the info!

Trishes · April 2010

A few of my older relatives were confused by them - my mom didn't know what they were until I told her about them, and she helped clear it up with the older relatives!

If I had a re-do option, I would insert "formal invitation to follow" on them.

ccordima · April 2010

We sent Save The Dates almost nine months before the wedding, b/c most of our guests are not from the area. It was very clear and simple: Save The Date, the date and place, our names, invitation to follow and our website for travel accommodations.

For the most part everyone understood, b/c they have been receiving Save The Dates for years now. But, of course a few stupid people did not understand what it was and had no idea what the website was. One guest actually thought the web address was advertising for the stationary company!

I guess I take for granted that other people have not attended as many weddings (or other events for that matter) as I have.

But honestly, with all of the other craziness of a wedding; confusion about the Save The Date is pretty minor.

nik7578 · April 2010

I've received Save the Dates for the last couple of years. We di dthem, but I chose a really fun design that looks like photo booth pics from magnetstreet.com. They are obviously magnets and they said Formail Invitation to Follow at the bottom, along with our wedding website, which most people missed. But I haven't had one person think it was an actual invitation. I would think that would happen with the paper STDs that look like invitations. I just figured this was a good place to do something really fun and we have gotten so many compliments! People loved the pictures.

vmontoya2 · April 2010

I sent out my SDT magnets and we've received TONS of calls telling us we forgot to put were we are getting married! We have to explain what they are for and that they are not the invitation!! They are nice to do and they do serve i'ts purpose, but they do confuse ur guest especially the older crowd!~!

LMickaliger · April 2010

Save the date cards gained popularity when destination weddings were the thing to to, it allowed people to start planning their travel araingements before the invitations arrived. I am having a similar problem and am sticking with this logic.

Melstar2002 · April 2010

Our StD's did double duty. We sent out a Xmas card with our engagement picture on it and made it more of an announcement "Happy Holidays from Loren & Melissa...We're getting married! June 26, 2010 is the the big day, so please Save the Date!" No one was confused. We sent them to all the family members and anyone we knew would need to make travel arrangements. They worked great, except my cousin (who's getting married a month before me) sent out their StD's like 3 months after us so I got a little crap for that! Meh....I was trying to save postage!

Here is a REAL confusing one for you though! A friend of mine was planning their wedding and created an "event" on FB and Myspace so they could get everyones addresses, not such a big deal. We received a StD in probably April or May and their wedding was in July. So the end of June rolls around and I casually ask her if my formal invite got lost since it was like 3 weeks before the wedding and I hadn't seen it, and I just wanted to make sure I RSVPed. They responded by saying I had RSVPed. I was beyond confused, and they said yeah, remember, on FB?

Uh? When you gave us your address that meant you were coming! "Didn't you guys send out invites?" "Yeah! They were blue with Save The Date on them, etc. Didn't you get yours?" YIKES! So yeah, not even all brides understand their purpose.

michelle9141 · April 2010

I have been fine with my save the dates. At the bottom I put a line that said "Formal invitations to follow."

Tisha. · April 2010

I'm hoping that mine are going to be self explanatory. I'm doing post cards.

The front says:

October 15, 2010

Keith & Tisha are getting married!.

Save the Date!

And the back says:

We're getting married in the evening on Friday, October 15, 2010.

You'll receive a more formal invitation, with all the final details, in the coming months. In the meantime, you can visit our wedding website for information on the location and local accommodations.

-Website address here-

Love,
Keith & Tisha

AkikoH27 · April 2010

My sister sent a save the date for her wedding in Jamaica. She put "formal invitation to follow" but she did still have an RSVP to get an idea of how many people may be able to come. It went something like this:

"Yes, I will be there, even if I have to break the bank!"

"If my finances and schedule allow, I willl most definitely be there!" (or something like that)

"I wish I could be there but sadly have to decline"

I dont know if this is the usual, but I guess she wanted an idea of how many people would be coming so she knew how to prepare since its a DW. I dont think that would work with a local wedding though.

Hope that helps!

Stallmanj1 · April 2010

We aren't doing save the dates for our wedding - news travels fast in both our families. I think that just talking about the wedding with people, or making sure the wedding comes up in conversations with out of town people can often solve the problem. There's nothing wrong with just talking to your family and friends, is there?

I'm not putting down STD's, (haha STD's), I just don't think anyone should feel like they have to have them. In my opinion, if you send STD's to everyone who will get an invite, then why not just send the invites earlier instead of later?

melissamc2 · April 2010

Common usage started a few years ago and they are primarily used in cases of destination weddings, weddings on holidays, or weddings that will have a high number of out of town/country guests. It's a courtesy to allow time for travel arrangements and budgeting. (Ours were adorable "passports," complete with our photo inside. We even had an inked stamp made up with our wedding website address and "stamped" all of the passports!)

Popular etiquette dictates that they be sent out no less than 6 months in advance and usually closer to a year ahead of time. If yours went out closer to your wedding date, that may have been the source of the confusion.

Ours had the date, location, and "invitation to follow" at the bottom. So far we've encountered no confusion, but a LOT of compliments on them!

TennilleV · April 2010

I have never before recieved a 'save the date', but my FI and I decided to send out a 'save the date' Christmas letter with hotel information, the date of the wedding, and finished by saying that the invitation would be mailed out in a few months once the fine details were narrowed down. I found that many of the people I sent them to really appreciated it, and there was no confusion at all.

Save the dates confusing people

Re: Save the dates confusing people

Choose Another Board

Search Boards