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Wedding Announcements?

radleybooradleyboo member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
FI and I are having a very small wedding with family only, think 40 people tops.  My mom asked me if I was going to send Announcements after the fact to extended family and friends that aren't going to be invited.  It honestly hadn't occurred to me, but now that I think about it, it seems a little gift-grabby.  This is a second wedding for both of us, we're not going to register anywhere as we don't really 'need' anything gift-wise, and our day is about the union of our families.  My mom, however, seems to think we need to make a formal announcement.  I honestly have no idea what to do.  Do people do this?  Thoughts?  My instinct is not to do this at all.

Thanks.
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Re: Wedding Announcements?

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    s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
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    If you don't want to send announcements, then don't.

    They aren't impolite unless they are done in a way that is impolite (include wedding registry info, describe how awesome the wedding was, show off honeymoon destination, etc).
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    It is perfectly acceptable to send wedding announcements.  I find them kind of pointless and a waste of money.  Eventually everyone will find out that you are married either by word of mouth, Facebook or you telling them directly.

    If I got a wedding announcement in the mail I would think "Oh, good for them." then it would go directly into the trash.  I hate for that to sound mean but it is the truth.  Same goes for thank you cards, christmas cards, birthday cards, etc.  They are nice to get because it means that people are thinking of you but not something I really want to save or have any need to hold onto longer then to read the thing. 

    In the end it is really up to you.  If you don't want to send them then don't send them.  If your Mom really wants to send a few out to her friends and family then let her, I see no harm in that if she wants to take that on herself.


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    radleybooradleyboo member
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    Thank you!  I feel relieved that this isn't a 'requirement'. 

    @Maggie-I very much feel the same way!  FI and I are paying for the whole wedding, so we're trying to keep cost to a minimum.  I don't do cards very often, but my Mom is a HUGE Hallmark person, so I can understand why she'd want me to do it.  I'll suggest that she can take this on if there are people she'd like to send an announcement to.
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    Kate61487Kate61487 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-announcements-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80aa0f95-2e65-4e8d-a62a-81e818c4a02dPost:c6a9098f-0434-4ccc-8d13-22933d5734b0">Re: Wedding Announcements?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thank you!  I feel relieved that this isn't a 'requirement'.  @Maggie-I very much feel the same way!  FI and I are paying for the whole wedding, so we're trying to keep cost to a minimum.  I don't do cards very often, but my Mom is a HUGE Hallmark person, so I can understand why she'd want me to do it.  I'll suggest that she can take this on if there are people she'd like to send an announcement to.
    Posted by radleyboo[/QUOTE]

    I think this is a great idea.  MIL is a huge hallmark person too (we joke that she single handedly is keeping Hallmark and the USPS going) so I'd never dream of telling her she couldn't mail something if she wanted to.  But let her own it if she wants it. 

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    achiduckachiduck member
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    i've only ever gotten one wedding annoucement from a girl I went to highschool with. I hadn't talked to her in years, didn't even know she had been engaged and it was mailed to my Dad's house. So that was damn gift-grabby to me.

    I would avoid them in this instance.
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    RWolffRWolff member
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    Sorry to interrupt the coversation, but I check the FAQ and I am not sure what AW means...Embarassed
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    kmmssgkmmssg mod
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    DD #1's wedding was moved up 5 months from its originally scheduled date and the guest list was cut drastically.  We sent out announcements the day after the wedding.  They rec'd a couple of nice cards but no gifts.  That is exactly what we expected. 
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    KDM323KDM323 member
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    I think it would be rude to send a note to someone after the fact telling them about your wedding.

    Would you want someone to send a card to your house telling you about the awesome birthday party/engagement party they had last weekend that you weren't invited to?

    Your Mom could probably do a wedding announcement in her local newspaper if she wanted to - I see those frequently.  And they don't seem "gift grabby" or rude...the newspaper seems more an appropriate venue for this than sending cards to people individually.

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-announcements-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80aa0f95-2e65-4e8d-a62a-81e818c4a02dPost:1ddc1344-144c-4176-a43e-467b890c3773">Re: Wedding Announcements?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I think it would be rude to send a note to someone after the fact telling them about your wedding.</strong> Would you want someone to send a card to your house telling you about the awesome birthday party/engagement party they had last weekend that you weren't invited to? Your Mom could probably do a wedding announcement in her local newspaper if she wanted to - I see those frequently.  And they don't seem "gift grabby" or rude...the newspaper seems more an appropriate venue for this than sending cards to people individually.
    Posted by drexelkathy[/QUOTE]

    Well wedding announcements that are mailed don't really go into much detail in regards to the wedding.  They are simple cards (many like post cards) that just state that on X day Bride and Groom got married in Timbuktu or wherever.  And sometimes they usually have a picture attached as well.  Pretty much they are like the announcements you see in the newspaper just a bit more pretty.

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    nicoleandersonmdnicoleandersonmd
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wedding-announcements-16?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:80aa0f95-2e65-4e8d-a62a-81e818c4a02dPost:55f26512-6e51-4cfa-9e95-b429bb07eda0">Re: Wedding Announcements?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Wedding Announcements? : Not to quote you twice, but maybe she would be happy with an announcement in your local newspaper?  My FIL did one for us and it was pretty exciting to see it.
    Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]



    I was also going to suggest this.
    "Always be kinder than you think is necessary, for you never know what personal battles people are fighting."
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    jszmergajszmerga member
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    My brother and SIL got married in a tiny ceremony (his immediate family only). My grandma requested that they send out announcements because she had so many relatives calling and asking about the wedding and if/when it was happening (they got engaged and married within a month due to him impending deployment). Maybe your mom is just sick of having to field questions from distant relatives like my grandma was. Word of mouth may travel quickly but it often gets quite garbled in the process. I like the PP idea of asking your mom to send out announcements herself if it is so important to her.
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