Pennsylvania

Bridesmaid help!

Re: Bridesmaid help!

  • emoran04emoran04 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Where are you getting your dresses? Some places offer a layaway plan where she can pay over time. This is a very touchy subject with some girls. I've read articles about this, if I find them, I'll pass it along.
  • brjm2007brjm2007 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you're being that picky and she can't afford it, then YOU should pay for it. I'd be pretty darn peeved if I was a bridesmaid and someone said I had to wear the dress he wanted that was out of my budget. Seriously, think of those who don't have tons of money to throw on one dress that they may only wear once. Either stop being so picky, or pay for the dress. OR, even if you just pay for the portion of the price that she can't quite come up with. My FSIL is going to be a bridesmaid and I know she can't afford to pay for ANY dress so I am going to be buying her dress most likely. It sucks, and is not the typical way things are done, but it's what must be done to keep the peace and make her feel important.
  • edited December 2011
    You can also see if the dress can be ordered online at a discounted price.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with previous post.  If someone in my wedding party could not afford I would pay for the dress (or choose a less expensive dress).  your friendship is more important than a dress.  My niece is in my wedding, but her mother cannot afford to buy her a dress (my niece is only 8).  therefore I know she would be disappointed if she could not be part of my wedding, and I am paying for her to be a Jr BM.
  • edited December 2011
    My BFF had this issue. I could barely afford my dress (bride picked a color at David's Bridal and we could wear any floor length style), but I did their layaway plan. The maid of honor didn't buy her dress, so the day before the wedding (yes, she didn't let anyone know she needed help or couldn't afford it until the rehearsal dinner), the bride and I went looking all over for a dress since her size wasn't available in any style at DB that night.

    I would tell your bridesmaid to try the layaway plan or check eBay, but if the gown you picked out is super expensive, or she simply can't afford it, then you should be willing to pay for at least some of it to help her out if it's that necessary you have matching dresses. You could also try looking at Marshalls or T.J. Maxx. I bought my girls dresses there for $15 and it was the exact style I picked out at DB, but instead of being solid black, had a black bottom, white top part, and fuschia ribbon. I love these compared to the $200 ones the girls picked out from DB.
  • NatashaYFNatashaYF member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Did you make sure she was even able to afford it before you decided on the dress?  If not then that's not really fair.  You need to find out, privately with each girl, what they are able to afford for a dress and go from there.  You should help her out if you really want her to wear the dress.  The layaway/payment plans could work too only if she's able to do it that way, if not you need to step up and pay for it for her.
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  • edited December 2011
    You line of  "and i dont know how to go about telling her this" seems really really rude.  

    1.  You chose her as a close friend to support you and stand with you in support of your marriage - not as a prop to decorate in your wedding.
    2.  If she can't afford it, you can't "tell" her to just buy it anyway.  Either she is permitted to wear something she already owns/can inexpensively buy OR you buy it.  -- I bought ALL of my Bridesmaid dresses.  
    I would be super pissed to spend money on a dress I would wear once - especially if I was hard-pressed for money.  Think about the cost of being a bridesmaid -- the dress, shoes, jewelry, hotel, food, throwing a bridal shower, throwing a bachelorette party, the wedding gift, the shower gift, and possibly hair and make-up.  It's a lot for YOUR day.  

    You come across quite self-centered and rude in your post.  I hope that's not how you come across when you speak to your FRIEND about a sensitive topic.

  • sweetpea0911sweetpea0911 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    the PPs are smart ladies.  you want her to wear that dress and she can't afford it?  either pay for the whole thing, pay for the difference of what she can't afford (so if it's $100 and she can only pay $25, you pay $75), or you let her find a similar dress in the same color in her budget.  it's quite simple.

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  • emoran04emoran04 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I got all my girls together at DB and let them pick their own dresses out of 6 that I liked. I got very lucky that they all picked the same one and the price was good. i didn't want anyone to feel the financial burden. I was a very low maintenace bride when it came to my girls.
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