Alcoholics

katiewhompus · November 2010

This was actually a conversation I had at work today and was wondering what everyone else thought.
Can there be such a thing as a functioning alcoholic and what makes a person an alcoholic.

Example A: Person comes home and drinks several beers, gets mad, starts breaking shiit
Example B: Person comes home and drinks several beers, but just chills on the computer or watches tv
Example C: Person regularly drinks before competitions or big meetings to "settle the nerves" but otherwise is still fine.
Example

Person goes out every Friday and Saturday night to party and gets wasted. Does not drink the rest of the week but can't imagine going through a weekend without a drink.

Are these all alcoholics? Do you think someone can be a functioning alcoholic?

Steph0871 · November 2010

I'd say C and D are, without any other info. Reasoning being that they feel they NEED a beer to get through a meeting or weekend.

is A typically violent when sober as well?

MeaghanandMichael · November 2010

You can absolutely be a functioning alcoholic. Basically every one at my work gets flat out wasted night in and night out and then comes in and kicks ass all day long at their jobs.

But, they couldn't go without a drink I will tell you that.

Starmusica · November 2010

I think you absolutely can be.. for a time. I think it always catches up with a person.. one way or another.

MeaghanandMichael · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_alcoholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:25877708-3132-4c52-86c5-918435d62efbPost:31750ed4-c805-4053-b2f1-32ef4f67f812">Re: Alcoholics</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you absolutely can be.. for a time. I think it always catches up with a person.. one way or another.
Posted by Starmusica[/QUOTE]

oh yeah. and it ain't pretty.

katiewhompus · November 2010

We'll say A is only violent when drinking.

Coworker thinks that A is an alcoholic, B just "thinks" he's functioning (example B is my dad), and that C and D are fine.

Nebb · November 2010

I think so, I also dont see anything wrong with option B. There seems to be no downside to that, and I thought alcoholism usually has bad side effects that hurt your own life and others.

Bubbalub · November 2010

I see addiction as something that someone MUST do (ie: I must drink to get through this meeting/the weekend) or something that completely changes one's personality or behavior yet they continue to do it.

I guess I don't see person B as an alcoholic simply because I would need to know more. Do they feel the need to drink or do they just do it out of habit? If there were no beer in the house would they switch to hard alcohol? Could they get by without alcohol and still relax?

i dunno. That one is sort of a gray area for me. Many of the men in my life/family enjoy their beer in the evenings. But they don't get drunk every night. But if there is no beer they will go buy some. Yet they wouldn't switch to whiskey if there were no beer. You know?

BecW2be · November 2010

I had an aunt who was a functioning alcoholic. She was buzzed for 40 years and no one but her husband knew. I think we picture alcoholics as those who are not in control, and I think that needing alcohol to function is being an alcoholic, even if you can control it. My aunt never got beligerent once in 40 years, but she had alcohol in her system from the time she woke up until she went to bed every single day. I think her dependency on alcohol makes her an alcoholic, even though she has control of her behavior and stopped herself from having too much for over FOUR decades.

The week after FuckEX left me, I had a creative conference for 7 days. I meet up with 100 or so creative friends every year, but had only told a handful what was going on. I drank from the time I arrived until the day I left, and I never got drunk. I kept a water bottle of vodka with me and sipped it nonstop. I know I could have developed that into a big problem if I'd come back from that conference and kept up the buzz, but I didn't. That's the difference between me and my aunt.

[Deleted User] · November 2010

I definitely think one can be a functioning alcoholic.

J&K10910 · November 2010

Well, yeah, I think there is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic to a point. But if you want to get really technical, your behaviors have to be maladaptive (impact your life in a negative way in some form) to meet the criteria for substance abuse or dependence.

HOWEVER, one of the criteria options is having the effect on relationships and social life. If you continue to go to work and fulfill major obligations, I consider you fairly well functioning. You can still do those things have shiit for relationships, thus meeting criteria for a diagnosis.

Nebb · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_alcoholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:25877708-3132-4c52-86c5-918435d62efbPost:297f10c7-0d2a-4230-886a-6998fdc3afdd">Re: Alcoholics</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, yeah, I think there is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic to a point. But if you want to get really technical,<strong> your behaviors have to be maladaptive (impact your life in a negative way in some form) to meet the criteria for substance abuse or dependence.</strong> HOWEVER, one of the criteria options is having the effect on relationships and social life. If you continue to go to work and fulfill major obligations, I consider you fairly well functioning. You can still do those things have shiit for relationships, thus meeting criteria for a diagnosis.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
you said what I was trying to say, but smarter.

katiewhompus · November 2010

Hmm ok I should have put more qualifiers on option B apparently!

In the case of my dad, he has to have alcohol every day, without fail. Normally he averages about 8 drinks between 5 and 10pm. His behavior doesn't change but he definitely could not go for a day without alcohol.

MeaghanandMichael · November 2010

I see what you are saying J&K buttt, if you CAN'T go a day without a drink (and you may be totally cool with every one and every thing in your life) I call that alcoholism. But, I defer to your excellent knowledge on these things.

Nebb · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_alcoholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:25877708-3132-4c52-86c5-918435d62efbPost:86eaae2e-5ccb-4a8e-86f9-c9872753ac18">Re: Alcoholics</a>:
[QUOTE]Hmm ok I should have put more qualifiers on option B apparently! In the case of my dad, he has to have alcohol every day, without fail. Normally he averages about 8 drinks between 5 and 10pm. His behavior doesn't change but he definitely could not go for a day without alcohol.
Posted by katiewhompus[/QUOTE]
Has he literally drank every ngiht for the past how many years or is this just what you see here and there? Have you seen him just not drink?

[Deleted User] · November 2010

I eat cottage cheese every day. I would feel shitty and anxious if I missed it. I am a cottage cheese a holic.

So, here's another question. What defines it as a problem? Is it the impact it has on your life? Is it the fact that the person needs to have at least one drink per day?

Nebb · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_alcoholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:25877708-3132-4c52-86c5-918435d62efbPost:e50306d7-079e-4b94-ad2c-ff806fd82650">Re: Alcoholics</a>:
[QUOTE]I eat cottage cheese every day. I would feel shitty and anxious if I missed it. I am a cottage cheese a holic. So, here's another question. What defines it as a problem? Is it the impact it has on your life? Is it the fact that the person needs to have at least one drink per day?
Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
I think its time you start going to cottage cheesers anonymous.

J&K10910 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_alcoholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:25877708-3132-4c52-86c5-918435d62efbPost:53295d34-4962-4066-a827-3c8ae508077c">Re: Alcoholics</a>:
[QUOTE]I see what you are saying J&K buttt, if you CAN'T go a day without a drink (and you may be totally cool with every one and every thing in your life) I call that alcoholism. But, I defer to your excellent knowledge on these things.
Posted by MeaghanandMichael[/QUOTE]

I totally agree that there is something wrong with not being able to go a day without a drink, or not being able to do (insert activity here) without a drink. Or whatever.

I was just going strictly by the criteria for diagnosis of substance abuse or dependance, courtesy of the DSM-IV-TR.

katiewhompus · November 2010

Nebb, the only time he has ever gone without alcohol is when he was hospitalized for 4 days when he ran his hand through a tablesaw (he was sober for that one). Mom said he's been that way ever since she knew him (they met at the age of 24)

We were talking about sugar/food addictions too. We have interesting lunch conversations.

slubkin · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_alcoholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:25877708-3132-4c52-86c5-918435d62efbPost:297f10c7-0d2a-4230-886a-6998fdc3afdd">Re: Alcoholics</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, yeah, I think there is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic to a point. But if you want to get really technical, your behaviors have to be maladaptive (impact your life in a negative way in some form) to meet the criteria for substance abuse or dependence. HOWEVER, one of the criteria options is having the effect on relationships and social life. If you continue to go to work and fulfill major obligations, I consider you fairly well functioning. You can still do those things have shiit for relationships, thus meeting criteria for a diagnosis.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
^ This. I worked as a drug treatment counselor and as a DUI counselor. For both drugs and alcohol, there is a difference between dependence and abuse. Some people that are considered "functioning alcoholics" are really abusing alcohol, and others are actually dependent on it. Keep in mind that a dependence can be psychological, it doesn't have to be physical. That said, physical dependence on alcohol is serious- alcohol detox centers have to stock beer in their facility fridges because alcohol is the only drug where withdrawal can actually KILL you.

rhodesign · November 2010

I believe my cousin (whom I mentioned in last night's thread) is a functional drunk on some level. He can go to work without drinking, but he drinks pretty much every night after work. He doesn't know when to stop, either. It's either until he passes out or he quits being served. Sometimes both.

He's really a nice drunk, but too much so that he tries to make friends with strangers in a very aggressive way. Last night he grabbed the waitress and hugged her and told her how beautiful she was, etc. He wasn't pawing at her, but still--too much physical contact for someone you don't know. And his gaydar is WAAAY off when he drinks so he tries to kiss straight guys all. the. time. I can't deal with him drunk anymore.

allisong23 · November 2010

This thread makes me want a glass of wine.

missy68 · November 2010

To me, a functional alcoholic is someone who can't complete a day/task without alcohol, usually more than one drink. I don't know if I'd consider a binge drinker a functional alcoholic, since that person can go x number of days before drinking, but once he/she starts, it continues.

I had an alcoholic great-aunt who would probably have been considered functional. She held down a job, was well respected in her community, and I'm not sure anyone outside the family knew about her drinking problem. But, it was bad enough my grandmother (her sister) didn't want the garbageman to see alcohol bottles in her trashcan when we all came to visit, and she was scared to have a drink or two.

Oh, and I meant to add, if the person can't function or gets belligerent when you take his/her alcohol away or they can't have it, that would raise a red flag.

dmiller9274 · November 2010

KW, As a former alcoholic I can tell you that I drank 18 beers a day Sun-Thur and Fri and Sat I drank at least 24. My friends IRL couldn't tell a difference in my behavior until I hit around 20 beers. During those years, I was completely functioning. I never missed work, paid my bills on time, lived what would seem a normal life. The difference comes when you NEED to drink daily. Alcoholics feel not just the mental side, but there are physical things that go on too.

CEW, I made home-made Mac and Cheese tonight...and I put cottage cheese in it. It was awesome!

[Deleted User] · November 2010

I love that, miller! I use cottage cheese in some of my breakfast casseroles and it's awesome. Everytime I make mac and cheese, I think about putting cottage cheese in it.

dmiller9274 · November 2010

You should try it, it adds to the awesomeness of Mac and Cheese.

J&K10910 · November 2010

I use a mixture of cottage and ricotta cheese in my lasagna. When I really want to be all healthy I use just low fat cottage cheese.

betrothed123 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_alcoholics?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:25877708-3132-4c52-86c5-918435d62efbPost:36ba4782-0d51-4f19-a7f1-4a6fefdae472">Re: Alcoholics</a>:
[QUOTE]I use a mixture of cottage and ricotta cheese in my lasagna. When I really want to be all healthy I use just low fat cottage cheese.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
The words "healthy" and "lasagna" do not belong in the same sentence.

Also, I make my lasagna with ricotta and cottage cheese as well.

Nebb · November 2010

I saw a show where this guy made lasagna with roasted tomatoes, layered with large lettuce of some kind, riccotta mixed with something, more lettuce, roasted tomatoes and topped with artichoke hearts mixed with something, covered in cheese.

It looked amazing.

laurenclaire1386 · November 2010

I'm late, and I haven't read responses but I'd like to add that I used to work for a highly functioning alcoholic. I'm not exaggerating, this guy would drink vodka and grapefruit juice at 10 AM. Thing was, he still managed to be like, a ridiculously good attorney. I was continually amazed at just how much stuff this guy could accomplish, even though he had to have been completely hammered 90% of the time. To me, that's a functioning alcoholic. He was (still is, presumably) destroying his body with booze, but it didn't seem to have all that negative an impact (that I saw, anyway) on his life.

katiewhompus · November 2010

Dmiller, now that I think about it I think he did get some sort of withdrawal helping thing when he was hospitalized.

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