Age Difference

iamjoesgurl · October 2011

Is there an age difference between you and BF/FI/DH? If so, how much and who is older? Do you think that an age difference has any impact on your relationship?

My DH is about 4 1/2 years younger than me! When we were in our 20s, I would have said that it would have made a big difference because I was settling into my career when he had just graduated high school. I did not meet him until I was in my mid-30s though so the age difference made no difference to us. I tell people that since women have a longer life expectancy than men, I picked a younger man so that we can die together.

fpaemp2011 · October 2011

We're 24 and 23. H is a little over a year younger than me. He's also the youngest of 6 (mostly girls) and I'm the oldest of 3 (both brothers).

I feel like the birth order made more of a difference (challenge isn't the right word) than the age. However, H was an RA at our university and had been on Student Leadership as a Prayer Leader (small group leader), so he had that leadership experience before we met. I had so many people tell me that a releationship with someone younger than me, especially if they weren't a firstborn, would never work, and I could appreciate some of their concerns. If he was not such a natural spiritual and household leader when we met, mostly due to his RA experience, the relationship would not have worked.

RebeccaJac · October 2011

FI is about 4 years older than I am. We began dating in college and it wasn't a big issue. The first time around FI says he majored in alcohol so he was still finishing up his degree when I was. It actually worked out nice because now we're working on our Masters together and are kicking aroun the idea of going for doctorate together (possibly abroad?!) before babies ruin all our plans (totally kidding on that last part.)

I like it. I needed a guy a wee bit older than me.

agape1cor813 · October 2011

H is about a year and a half older than I am. We are both firstborns (I the first of three girls, and he is 5 years older than his brother). I don't really see any ways in which our respective ages make that much of a difference. At 25 and 26, I think we are quite a bit more mature than most of our peers.

katiebaka · October 2011

FI and I are both 22...I'm four months older than him, which he really likes for some reason. I always thought I'd end up with someone older, for some reason, but I kinda like FI, so I guess it's okay

azdancer8 · October 2011

We're 29 and 26 - about 3 1/2 years apart. I'm older, which is ok with me, since DH keeps me young.

But then, I don't look 29, so people think I'm the younger one typically anyways.

We met when we were 28 and 24, so age didn't have much bearing. He's the baby, and I'm the eldest. I like that he lets me be independent and playful.

sessionswedding · October 2011

FI is only about 7 months younger than me. I'm 23 and he'll turn 23 just 5 days before the wedding. But the way our birthdays fall in the year means he was a year behind me in school. So I graduated high school a year before he did, and I finished college faster than he is. So that has created like a 2.5 year gap between when I graduated and when he plans to graduate.

As for birth order, I am the oldest with two younger brothers. FI is the youngest with two older sisters! Complete opposites, lol. But FI's sisters were 13 and 15 when he was born, and they both moved out and got married at 19. So by the time FI was like 6 he was basically an only child. So he really has the characteristics of an only child, and not so much those of the youngest of a set of siblings. I still wear the pants in the relationship though, haha.

DramaGeek · October 2011

H is older than me by 2 months. He'll be 31 on Saturday and I'll be 31 in January. When we got married we were 22 (him) and 21 (me - I turned 22 3 weeks after our wedding). He is the oldest of 3 (2 younger sisters), I am an only. We were also raised in incredibly different circumstances - I was raised upper middle class with a mom who was the breadwinner and parents who split domestic duties and H was raised in a typical blue collar family with a SAHM who was in charge of all the domestic responsibilities and a dad who worked and then came home and watched tv before bed.

Obviously our age difference isn't enough to have an impact on our relationship, but our upbringings definitely have.

FaithCaitlin · October 2011

We're pretty close in age.

I'm 20 and he's 22. I don't think there's much of an impact!

I'm an only child and he's a middle child. We both sometimes fit those roles.

SoonToBeGenao · October 2011

Wow! There are so many women here who are older than their SI, very cool... For us, DH is 4 years older than me. We were 22 and 26 when we first met- I had just graduated college. We are 25 and 29 now when we got married. I think the 4 year age gap was a good thing for us. DH kinda taught me to grow up and do things on my own- and since he'd been there done that for so long, was able to teach me the way about finances, and bills, and all sorts of stuff---- however, I did teach HIM about saving money lol.

I am the oldest child while he is an only and our birth order does play a role in our relationship as well.

yodacub · October 2011

FI is a little over a year younger than me, but was 2 years behind me in school. Because of him taking 6 years to get through college, he graduated with his bachelor's degree only a few months before I will get my PhD. We are both the oldest, so in that way we are alike. I've taught him about being independent from parents, and he keeps me feeling young and carefree

ochemjenn · October 2011

DH is 4 months and 4 days older than me. Each of us has a younger brother.

joesgirl, I have informed MH that he must live until at least 90. At least 3 (I don't know about te 4th) of my great-grandmothers lived into their 90s, and I don't want to be alone for alone for a long time. Then I would have to turn into an old lady with 287 cats, which would be a problem because I'm allergic to cats.

sprtychick10 · October 2011

I am older by about 8 months. The age difference hasn't really bothered us. Although DF likes to make fun and joke that I am "so much older" then him

mattycam · October 2011

My H and I have a 2.5 year age difference (31 next month & 33); he is older than me. Age difference hasn't had any affect on our relationship.

Alcyone1 · October 2011

DH is 3 years older than me, which was never a big deal for us when we were dating. My brother is 3 years older than me, so I grew up with somebody at that age difference (amusingly enough, he married someone my age--I figure we were both comfortable with people at that age difference!). So yeah, back to it not being a big deal while we were dating...

We had our first date at 19 and 22, respectively, but we didn't start dating until the following year (20 and 23), and we got married at 26 and 29. We'd known each other for several years before we started dating, though--he was my brother's best friend in high school--so people were always assuming we were high school sweethearts, until we explained that when we met we were 12 and 15, respectively, a MUCH more significant difference at that age than it was when we were older!

SuMmErKuTiE · October 2011

DH and I are both 28.. he's a little less than 3 months older than me. He had just turned 25 and I was almost 25 when we met back in 2008. For us it was perfect, we had finished school, found ourselves (for the most part lol), and had gotten our feet wet in our careers.

I'm the oldest of 2 (younger brother) and he's the youngest of 2 (older sister). So we both came from 2 kid families where the girl was older and the boy was younger.

BMcLeodTeam · October 2011

We have a larger age difference. I am 25 and FI is 31. We belong to a Christian based leadership organization and met through it, so we were both at the same point mentally with it all which has helped a lot. I don't really notice the age difference, but a few years ago it would definitely have made a difference!

AllyG303 · October 2011

FI and I are 3 years apart...we met when we were 17 and 20, so it was a little weird then because we were in different stages of our lives (he was joining the Air Force and I was still in high school). Now that we are 24 and 27, it's not really a big deal anymore.

musicalsunlight · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_age-difference?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4972c1e4-1b6d-4371-b303-a8105b4b084bPost:e4c29b6b-3fb3-48b2-af04-8cc8170645f3">Re: Age Difference</a>:
[QUOTE]H is older than me by 2 months. He'll be 31 on Saturday and I'll be 31 in January. When we got married we were 22 (him) and 21 (me - I turned 22 3 weeks after our wedding). He is the oldest of 3 (2 younger sisters), I am an only. We were also raised in incredibly different circumstances -<strong> I was raised upper middle class with a mom who was the breadwinner and parents who split domestic duties and H was raised in a typical blue collar family with a SAHM who was in charge of all the domestic responsibilities and a dad who worked and then came home and watched tv before bed. Obviously our age difference isn't enough to have an impact on our relationship, but our upbringings definitely have.</strong>
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

I could not have said it better, this is exactly me and J. Me being you, J being youro H. We are only 9 months apart, him older. We are both the oldest of our respective siblings though, which definitely helps our relationship.

lulubella2011 · October 2011

We are 24 days apart! He's older.

Purple&7 · October 2011

I'm 21 and FI is 23. He's the middle child with an older and younger brother. I'm the youngest of 2 (older brother). I don't think it's played that big of a role in our relationship, I think the way we grew up has. His family is a lot more laid back than mine.

mrandmrsbrist · October 2011

He's older. Two and a half years older. It works out well for us!

faith415 · October 2011

FI is a little over a year and a half older than me. The way our birthdays fell he was only a grade older than me though so it wasn't a big deal when we met as a sophomore and junior in high school.

Like others have said, birth order has made a much bigger difference I'm the oldest of three and he's the youngest of 3. I've always been the typical firstborn and he's a pretty typical third born. We balance each other out a lot, but it can be really frustrating when he's super laid back about things I think should have been done yesterday!

iamjoesgurl · October 2011

Jenn - lol

About birth order, I consider myself a baby/youngest since I was almost 11 when my younger sister was born so I didn't deal with middle child syndrome. DH is an only. That has affected us I think moreso than my birth order.

BMcLeodTeam · October 2011

FI is the youngest of his family, and I'm the oldest of mine.... which is probably a good part of why we don't notice the 6 year difference between us!

Soon2BeMrsTing · October 2011

H is five weeks older.

AshNoel8 · October 2011

H and I are both 26 (I will be 27 in less than 2 months). He is about 4 and a half months younger than me. Not much of a difference, but he does joke about me being older sometimes.

kipnus · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_age-difference?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4972c1e4-1b6d-4371-b303-a8105b4b084bPost:280cfa9a-7978-4e30-bd75-dbaf166b8e4d">Age Difference</a>:
[QUOTE] I tell people that since women have a longer life expectancy than men, I picked a younger man so that we can die together.
Posted by iamjoesgurl[/QUOTE]

<div>I say the same thing! I just turned 25 in August, and FI will be 22 next month. He didn't know how much older I was when we started dating, but I knew his age and almost wrote him off because of it! So glad I gave him a chance...<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" /></div>

tinakling · October 2011

FI is 5 months older than I am. I always thought guys my age were immature and so I would end up with a guy at least 1 year older. Funny how that turned out,..... I am the 5th born of 6 chn and FI is a middle child, he's got an older brother and a younger brother. His family thought I was a bit older when we started dating because I went to University right after high sch and he went travelling. Our age doesn't really play a big role actlly, it's kinda nice, we talk about very similar things, lol!

WestCoastGirl05 · November 2011

FI is actually 10 years older then me. I'm 24 and he's 34. It was actually something that worried me and weirded me out at first. But we have been together for almost 2 years and to be honest, I find it so refreshing. He is by no means "old" fo his age, he is very active and young at heart. He is actualy the youngest child, and I am the oldest of my siblings, so the birth order creates for some entertainment too.

To be quite honest I often forget about our age difference, until one of his friends will say something like, "yeah Bri when we were doing that you were still in diapers.." HA...

I honestly dont think age really matters. It has more to do with the compatiability you have due to where you are in life. I've dated plenty of guys my own age who i just didnt click with, or what have you. And thats fine... to each their own.

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