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my name???!!

brobin01brobin01
Combo Breaker First Comment
in Michigan-Detroit
Okay, so our next step is the marriage license! I have no idea how I am going to do my name! Do I want to keep my last name and hyphen in my new last name? Or do I want to drop my maiden last name altogether? Arrgh! Decisions, decisions?
I have two middle names and I am sure those are going to go. LOL
But what is a girl to do?
What are your thoughts? How and why did you choose to do whatever it is you are doing?
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Re: my name???!!

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    cmkunocmkuno
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    edited December 2011
    I feel like what you do with your name is a very personal choice, so you should do what feels right to YOU!  

    I'm keeping my name just the way it is, but I know I'm in the minority on that.  I have a lot of reasons (mainly feminist ones), but mostly it's because it's my name - it's who I am and I don't want to change for any reason.  So there!  lol  
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    lmixterlmixter
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    edited December 2011
    The decision is COMPLETELY up to you. However, I will add that a friend of mine wanted to hyphenate her name but I believe the social security office told her her name was too long and she couldn't hyphenate her name. I guess you can only have up to so many letters.... that is something I didn't know.
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    Melgor78Melgor78 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm changing mine.  It's totally up to you and everyone need to do what they feel is right for them.  I don't feel that my name represents who I'am.  I'm becoming part of fi family but I'm not losing mine.  If you really want to keep yours would hyphenate.  I 'm personally not fond of mine so changing it wasn't a big issue. 
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    DetroitGyrlDetroitGyrl
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    edited December 2011
    yeah.. I'm still on the fence even after that LONG post I made about it a few months back.. I'm pretty sure I'm not legally changing it though.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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    edited December 2011
    I think everybody has a unique perspective on the name change idea. Your name is something personal, so you're the only one that can decide what you want to do.

    For me, I'm taking his name because that's important to me and after a few generations hyphens can get rediculous. BUT, I'm dropping my middle name and taking my maiden name as my new middle name. I have a lot more personal attachement to my maiden name then the middle, so it's a small way to keep it a part of me.

    That, and then my initials will be BBC, and I love that network :-P

    Good luck with your choices!
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    Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I'm not changing mine for 3 reasons: 1) I've had it for over 50 years, 2) because I was a single mom when I had my son, he has my last name and I don't want him to feel isolated and 3) it's a made up name (simplified Polish) from when my grandpa came over from Europe, so the only people in the world with this name are related to me.

    But it's a personal decision. You can always change it whenever you want, doesn't have to be done right away.

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    Knottie1435582995Knottie1435582995 newb
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    edited December 2011

    I struggled with this decision a lot.

    I love my last name (and frankly like it better than FI's), and it's who I am.  But, at the same time we are starting a life together and I'd like us to both have the same last name.  So, I went through a process, which I'm pretty sure pissed FI off to no end (you'll be able to tell my what he finally said to me).

    First, I suggested that I keep my name.  He was not fond of that idea.  Next, I suggested that we hyphenate our last names and both take the new hyphenated last name.  He said no because it would be ridiculously long.  Which is true; 7 letters hyphen 8 letters.  It would be a pain, I agreed.  So, THEN, I suggested that we both take a new name.  Our friends in law school combined our last names into one (beginning of his last name, and end of mine) and that's what they called us for 3 years.  He started getting mad at this point over my clear aversion to taking his last name.  So, he told me it was "stupid" and that he wouldn't marry me if I didn't change my name.  Now, I'm sure he wasn't serious about it, but he made his feelings clear.

    So, I'm changing my name.  But, I did think about dropping my middle name for my last name, but decided not to because my middle name is a family tradition (for 5 generations the first born girl gets Marie as their middle name).  I want to keep the tradition going.  So, in the end my FI and I agreed to this:

    I'm changing my last name to his name (*tear), and we're giving our first born son my last name as his middle name.  The end.

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    GwenwhyfareGwenwhyfare member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    After seeing that Taryn kept both last names, I'm thinking of going this route. Or, dropping my middle name.

    I mentioned this casually to my Mom and she was mortified that I was considering doing this. I'm not fond of my middle name (named after my Dad, Mom picked out the name/spelling..), but I do like my last name (even if no one can pronounce it ;).
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    Soon-to-be-Mrs-KuzniaSoon-to-be-Mrs-Kuznia
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    edited December 2011

    Its totally a personal decision.  I always figured that I would hyphenate my name.  But, since getting engaged and going through all of this, I decided I totally want his last name.  I feel like it doesn't change who I am or anything like that.  I feel like even though I am still an individual, we are starting our life together and I want to move forward with his last name.  I want our kids to have the same last name as mom amd dad, not just dad.  He was fine with whatever I wanted to do.

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    pattye14pattye14
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think that I am moving my maiden name to be part of my last name and taking FI name.  I don't want to give up any part of my name.  It's who I am and I feel that losing my last name is losing my identity.  But I do want to have the same last name for when we have kids.  So this is what I decided and I feel good about the decision.  I don't think that FI likes it at all but it's my name and we are both going to have the same last name so I don't understand why he doesn't like it.
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    brobin01brobin01
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I know it's totally up to me. I just wanted to see what everyone else is doing. I am leaninn towards dropping the middle names and use my maiden as my middle and then his last name as my last. I'm still torn! Thanks for al the feedback. I love all the different thoughts on this.Smile
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    culbycheeseculbycheese
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    I debated on this for a while- I've had my last name for 34 years! FI didn't like the idea of me not taking his, but didn't really say it out loud. Since we want to try to have kids, I decided to take his and let mine go because I want us to have the same name since we are a new family. Our last names are FAR too long to hyphenate- it'd be 19 letters! And I share a middle name with my mom and don't like how my now last name would sound as a middle name!

    I also debated keeping it professionally since I've worked for the same firm for 15 years, but it's not like I'm famous or something, nobody cares! So it changes at work, too!

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    thecatsfancythecatsfancy
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    edited December 2011
    I love you, Bran and I want to write out a big long response...but boss man is here today so I have to be super sneaky.

    I wrote a blog post about it a month or so ago...it explains my thoughts more or less.
    http://mrjones-and-me.blogspot.com/2010/03/great-last-name-debate.html
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    ms nobodyms nobody member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_michigan-detroit_name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:88Discussion:43269369-9026-410d-9b5d-660c6ee82d29Post:01136170-560c-4191-97b1-786500318416">Re: my name???!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel like what you do with your name is a very personal choice, so you should do what feels right to YOU!   I'm keeping my name just the way it is, but I know I'm in the minority on that.  I have a lot of reasons (mainly feminist ones), but mostly it's because it's my name - it's who I am and I don't want to change for any reason.  So there!  lol  
    Posted by cmkuno[/QUOTE]
    this. exactly this. thishithithsithsithsithsiththi<div>
    </div><div>this. lol</div>
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    KelkiKelki
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I came across this blog posting about changing your name (or not).  It's long but i enjoyed reading it.

    http://apracticalwedding.com/2010/04/on-name-changing-and-weddings/#more-2500
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    ms nobodyms nobody member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    APW is my favorite wedding blog turned site. 
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    brobin01brobin01
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I really respect all the thougts! thanks so much! Taryn, I am about to read that blog post..I read it a while back, but am going to read it again.
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    LISA RLISA R
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Brandi I haven't done anything yet. I know I want to take Austins last name but I also like mine. Sorry I'm no help.

    Oh BTW, I like what Taryn did. I might take that route
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