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One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...

kadoeringkadoering member
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in Wedding Party
The wedding is only a month away! He just now asked for the day off and was told that the company has a policy of not allowing anyone to take a day off during the holidays. He's worked there for 4 years and apparently wasn't aware of the policy and didn't think to ask about it before getting measured for his tux, FI & I ordered his gift, etc. (I'm more than a little annoyed...)

I realize having an uneven party isn't the end of the world, but I had everything planned for an even number. I'd like to ask another of FI's cousins to step in, but I don't know if that would be disrepectful to the first cousin who can't make it. I also don't know if a month will be enough time for the other cousin to get fitted for his tux and such.

Thanks for the advice & for letting me vent!
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Re: One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...

  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-the-groomsmen-just-found-out-he-cant-make-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d21abf71-5fdd-447b-ae9b-790d7c377df5Post:b5d76055-b1c8-4388-8b0a-b95d4b8ad2f1">One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...</a>:
    [QUOTE]The wedding is only a month away! He just now asked for the day off and was told that the company has a policy of not allowing anyone to take a day off during the holidays. He's worked there for 4 years and apparently wasn't aware of the policy and didn't think to ask about it before getting measured for his tux, FI & I ordered his gift, etc. (I'm more than a little annoyed...) I realize having an uneven party isn't the end of the world, but I had everything planned for an even number. I'd like to ask another of FI's cousins to step in, <strong>but I don't know if that would be disrepectful to the first cousin who can't make it.</strong> I also don't know if a month will be enough time for the other cousin to get fitted for his tux and such. Thanks for the advice & for letting me vent!
    Posted by kadoering[/QUOTE]
    It would also be disrespectful to the cousin you'll be asking. He'll know he is just a runner up and a space filler.

    It really sucks when things don't work out the way you planned it, but its not like he planned for this to happen. I really hope that he still somehow gets this day off! If not, I think you should just plan on having uneven numbers.
    Because you planned for having an even number, feel free to throw your ideas at us and maybe we can help you rework them for an uneven bridal party.
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  • kadoeringkadoering member
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    I guess my biggest issue with an uneven party is the processional and recessional. I wanted everyone to go in and out in pairs, so I'm not sure what to do with an extra girl.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-the-groomsmen-just-found-out-he-cant-make-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d21abf71-5fdd-447b-ae9b-790d7c377df5Post:1a29706c-09ba-4ed4-8017-3c53fc77cf1b">Re: One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my biggest issue with an uneven party is the processional and recessional. I wanted everyone to go in and out in pairs, so I'm not sure what to do with an extra girl.
    Posted by kadoering[/QUOTE]
    For the processional:
    1. You can have two girls to one of the guys. The guy will probably love it lol.
    2. Have all the guys all ready up there with the groom and have the girls walk down single file.
    3. Everyone can walk out single file, girls and guys. Girl, boy, girl, boy etc. Please don't do this if you have an extraordianity large wedding party, though lol.

    For the recessional:
    Options 1 and 3 would work well.
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  • MoniqueAbrahamsenMoniqueAbrahamsen member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    I like suggestion number three from AlmostFated. Having them walk out boy/girl/boy/girl would be great and won't look uneven.
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  • QueerFemmeQueerFemme member
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    I agree with PPs. have one male escort two females, or single file.  Don't add another groomsmen just for good measure. It's incredibly rude to both the original GM and the replacement.

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    Websites/blogs where our wedding has been featured:

    http://www.dapperq.com/2013/11/a-very-dapper-wedding/

    http://www.onabicyclebuiltfortwo.com/2013/10/wedding-christina-g.html

    http://4realequalityweddings.com/2014/05/16/g-christina/

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  • renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Your extra woman does not need an escort to walk down an aisle.  Give the guy his groomsman gift graciously and tell him you're bummed about the situation and that you still consider him a groomsman, even if he can't physically be there.
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  • FruitSnack84FruitSnack84
    Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    The potential replacement GM will not feel good about being used to fill a spot. Don't do it.
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-the-groomsmen-just-found-out-he-cant-make-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d21abf71-5fdd-447b-ae9b-790d7c377df5Post:1a29706c-09ba-4ed4-8017-3c53fc77cf1b">Re: One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my biggest issue with an uneven party is the processional and recessional. I wanted everyone to go in and out in pairs, so I'm not sure what to do with an extra girl.
    Posted by kadoering[/QUOTE]

    I guarantee you nobody will even notice.
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I just had everyone process by themselves. First the men went up while the girls fussed with my train and played 'lookout' for me, then they processed seperately. I really liked doing it this way because modern women don't need to be walked. They're perfectly fine on their own. Also the photographer got stunning solo shots this wa
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Have the bridesmaid in question walk in with two groomsmen.  Wedding parties do not have to have equal numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen.  It would not be respectful to the cousin to ask him to be a last-minute replacement.
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  • abbiecorwinabbiecorwin member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-the-groomsmen-just-found-out-he-cant-make-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d21abf71-5fdd-447b-ae9b-790d7c377df5Post:90476c6f-5a00-4197-b4de-956596859695">Re: One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just leave it as is.  It would be awkward for the fill-in, and disrespectful for the original. Your bridesmaid doesn't need to be "walked."  She's not a dog.  <strong>She's been getting in and out of rooms for years by herself without trauma.</strong> 
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>...Except for that one time she stubbed her toe on the door frame, but the swelling has gone down significantly in the last decade. </div><div>
    </div>
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  • LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-the-groomsmen-just-found-out-he-cant-make-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d21abf71-5fdd-447b-ae9b-790d7c377df5Post:1a29706c-09ba-4ed4-8017-3c53fc77cf1b">Re: One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess my biggest issue with an uneven party is the processional and recessional. I wanted everyone to go in and out in pairs, so I'm not sure what to do with an extra girl.
    Posted by kadoering[/QUOTE]

    I found out 1 week before that a BM couldn't come.  I don't understand the even party thing.  Guess who looked really awesome walking down the aisle with two men?!  The processional and recessional is no reason to insult your GM and whoever you are going to try to pull in last minute.

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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_one-of-the-groomsmen-just-found-out-he-cant-make-it?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d21abf71-5fdd-447b-ae9b-790d7c377df5Post:a8ed4c1c-a51a-4681-a090-35b4628e3706">Re: One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: One of the groomsmen just found out he can't make it... : For the processional: 1. You can have two girls to one of the guys. The guy will probably love it lol. 2. Have all the guys all ready up there with the groom and have the girls walk down single file. 3. Everyone can walk out single file, girls and guys. Girl, boy, girl, boy etc. <strong>Please don't do this if you have an extraordianity large wedding party, though lol.</strong> For the recessional: Options 1 and 3 would work well.
    Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

    OMG my sister had 16 ppl btwn her 6 and his 10 and we all walked by ourselves- girls and guys- it was like a circus and took forever! I def. second lol
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