Engagement issues

Re: Engagement issues

• achiduck member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-issues?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:56adff95-bcb7-41d0-938c-f00b9f3f1e28Post:af754ad0-e916-403c-b5c7-31ec423f16c4">Engagement issues</a>:
  [QUOTE]How do I begin what seems even to me to be so surreal? Well, I've been engaged to my first love for about four months now. I wanted to wait to be out of school to start making preparations so nothing concrete has been set. However,<strong> I am starting to feel like I should not be in such a serious relationship</strong>. I always feel stressed, depressed, or anxious, and unfortunately I do not feel like I can handle myself and my partner at the moment. I truly love him, but often f<strong>eel trapped and so very unsure of my future</strong>. He wants and rightly expects so much commitment from me, but with my own life being hectic and already having commitment issues, <strong>I just don't feel right. I feel like I need a break</strong>, but I know that I cannot go back to being engaged at such a young age.<strong> I am simply not ready</strong>. I have spoked to my partner about my worries but it either ends up in an argument or us dismissing the subject. <strong>I want more freedom</strong> but to imagine a life without this man I am so in love with just seems unbearable. We have been in different cities for the past month but he will be in the same city as me in a matter of days . I guess I just want to know if I should break it completely off now or try to work it out. Ihope someone here could shed some light on the situation, it would be much appreciated!
  Posted by princessgummy[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>No one should make you feel bad for wanting out of a relationship. Count how many times you've basically said you want out in this post.</div><div>
  </div><div>If you feel that you can't convey your wish to take a break from or end the relationship then get another person in the room when you do so. 
  
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• goodine11

  

  January 2012

  If you don't want the engagement however, want to continue to grow with him, you should let him know soon. maybe before moving to your town. But I think you were open and honest and he will appriciate that you told him. You can countiune the relatiohship with out contiuing the engagement.

  

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• sonya+adam member

  

  January 2012

  I agree with PPs. What do you mean "[you] know [you] cannot go back to being engaged at such a young age"?

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• meganb1977 member

  

  January 2012

  Just because you are engaged doesn't mean you necessarily have to start taking additional steps towards marriage on any particular time frame.  Would you feel better about having a long engagement and not proceeding with any wedding plans for a while, if he was OK with that too?

  Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.

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• jemmini6 member

  

  January 2012

  Out of curiosity, how old are you?  Regardless, you should NOT get married if you aren't 110% sure it's what you want.  If your FI can't talk about your concerns without it turning into an arguement or shutting you down, then I think you already know your answer....
  
  

  
  

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• stephaniesch member

  

  February 2012

  "If your FI can't talk about your concerns without it turning into an arguement or shutting you down, then I think you already know your answer...."
  
  
  This... it's not always easy to do it, but if you can't be open with each other about everything- even and especially the hard stuff- then that is a big sign and something you need to talk with each other about.   

  

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• Hilraythebride member

  

  February 2012

  As PPs have mentined you don't have to get married right away!  Are you stressed out because you are engaged now and everyone is asking when the wedding is or are you stressed out because you aren't sure if this is the person you want to be with for the rest of your life?

  
  

  If it is because of the wedding stuff, my FI and zI have been engaged since January of last year and only in September did we really start the wedding planning!!

  
  

  It is is the latter of the two then you need to seriously think about your FI and your relationship, maybe going to talk to someone will help!

  "A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime"

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