Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?

spudshirley · December 2012

Recently my photographer for our wedding next December posted a picture of a guest actually ruining a great shot she had taken of the bride and groom walking down the aisle because they used a flash, which ended up right between the couple. After she posted that, it got me thinking about a friend of mine who said no flashes about a year ago, to which I remember thinking "wow, control freak" LOL!

After seeing that picture, however, I completely get it! We are paying a lot of money for our photographer to get the perfect shot, we aren't paying the guests! Is it appropriate to put in the ceremony programs "No flash photography, please" or something along the lines of how we understand the excitement of getting that perfect shot for yourself, but please be understanding that we have hired a professional photographer to get that perfect shot for us (obviously not those exact words). I know people have posted something in a frame, but I'd be afraid that will get over looked, and if the priest announces it too early, I'd be afraid people would miss the announcement.

Let me know what you think!

[Deleted User] · December 2012

I saw this pin on Pinterest before our wedding...it might help to adjust the word for flash photography. I was disappointed in some of our pro shots so I was happy that friends got better ceremony pics than they did.

lyndausvi · December 2012

Personally, I do not have a problem with saying "no flash photography". However, not everyone reads the program so you still might still get someone using a flash.

cwaggoner07 · December 2012

That reminds me of this post I read:

http://www.wantthatwedding.co.uk/2012/06/20/will-you-unplug-your-wedding-to-avoid-uncle-bob/

But personally, I liked that other people took pics at our wedding. But I think it's perfectly in your rights to ask your guests not to, it's just a question of whether they will or not.

sarabellam · December 2012

If your ceremony is in a church, you could have the officiant announce that there will be NO flash photography during the ceremony. My father is a priest, and every wedding I've been to that he has performed, he has announced this prior to the ceremony starting.

Avion22 · December 2012

Personally, people who are inconsiderate enough to ruin your photographer's shots will probably do it even if you ask them not to. And everyone else will just be offended that you don't trust them to use their best judgement.

Unless photography/flash is prohibited by your venue, I think it's best to just go with it.

msuprincess04 · December 2012

My FI and I were actually discussing this over the weekend. We loathe the way technology has destroyed relationships and made people socially inept. And, I know it'd bother us both to no end to look out at our small wedding and see nothing but people with cameras/phones/ipads in their hands. I like the idea of "unplugging" for at least the ceremony. At the reception, it's a beach party and people can do as they please.

thejucheidea · December 2012

Our venue says that there is no flash photography allowed, so I think that it would be perfectly fine to state that while people can take photos, they should NOT take flash photography.

Meegles4 · December 2012

I think stuff like this is simply too nitpicky.

1 - Just because you say "no flash photography" doesn't mean people aren't still going to try to take pictures -- and thus ruin your photographer's shot.

2 - Presumably your photographer is taking more than one shot, right? So, if someone jumps in front of her for a hot second, don't you think she can get another shot the second later? I know my photographer was constantly shooting.

I know people took photos of us at the ceremony and my photographer still had HUNDREDS of fabulous photos.

The only reason I could see having a sign or announcement is if your ceremony site requires it. Otherwise, this is just not something to care about.

Calypso1977 · December 2012

i really think people get way to hung up on the pictures and their importance in the whole scheme of things.

sure you want some great shots and memories of your day, but you have to accept that out of the 1000 shots you may get that day, probably only 600 will be really good ones - and that's still ALOT of pics.

i know of a woman who got married about 40 years ago (she's still married!). Her photographers studio was destroyed i think by fire after their wedding - she never received a single shot of her day, although he did take some shots of them for free, in their attire after the fact. but she was grateful for the shots the others took and she ultimately got over it.

most people dont look at their album all that often anyway, but rather frame one or two of their favorites to display. im certainly that even if several photos get "ruined" by others, you will still get some great pics.

RailWayWife · December 2012

I personally wouldnt worry about it, trust your photographer I am sure they know what they are doing and will get a good shot

s-aries8990 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-photos-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5506428d-8d14-41d9-87e7-96d0e263c514Post:45ea41c2-8080-4b05-a54f-8251a3b29f43">Re: Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]My minister does this at church: "First, let us begin by having the traditional turning off of the cell phones. (You can add cameras)." <strong>He holds up the phone and sings, "aaaaaaamen......</strong>" Everybody turns off their electronic equipment and laughs.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

Awesome

Kate61487 · December 2012

Our priest announced no flash photography at the start of the ceremony; but that was a legit rule the church has and applied to our professional photographer too. Like PP said I think "no flash photography please" is fine, but any explanation of why is just condescending to your guests.

And truly, we received 1800+ photos from our photog. Maybe 20 ended up printed and in frames in someone's house. Even our album which has a couple hundred photos (which is a LOT) we still are only using a percentage of what he captured.

Jen4948 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-photos-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5506428d-8d14-41d9-87e7-96d0e263c514Post:1e8359e5-58c9-4b13-a270-edc3bb6eafcc">Re: Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony? : Awesome
Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

I like that!

Peledreamsofrain · December 2012

I think it's perfectly fine to have a sign or a short announcement requesting no flash photography.

However, if you kabosh photos entirely, you are going to regret it. It will take months for your photographer to complete their photos and get them to you, and for me it was only my family's photos that made the wait a sane one.

Also, your photographer isn't super-human, and will miss shots and moments. If people are taking pictures, you'll have every happy/funny/worthwhile moment recorded forever. For example, my uncle was taking a lot of photos of the guests while my photographer was focusing on my groom and I (rightly so). There were so many happy and funny things that happened away from us that we would have missed out on entirely if we had nixed photos by guests.

achiduck · December 2012

I have no problems saying "no flash photography" but you really can't tell your guests what to do.

When we were doing family photos in the church other peope were tryng to do photos as well so I kept telling everyone up at the alter to look at the ACTUAL photograher.

QueerFemme · December 2012

I sometimes wish I had told my guests "no pictures during the ceremony" but, I do love some of the pictures that guests took. So, it's a crapshoot. Most of the pictures that we got back from the back of the ceremony area though, had dozens of guests with their cameras in the air, and it looked pretty ridiculous.

I will say this, if you don't do a "no cameras", at least remind your WEDDING PARTY. My partner's sister took photos while standing at the altar. 90% of the pictures with her in it were with her holding up her camera or looking down at the screen. I was furious. After the wedding, I started looking around and found that this is not an uncommon problem. There were at least a handful of brides on my month board that had the same issue.

Peledreamsofrain · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-photos-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5506428d-8d14-41d9-87e7-96d0e263c514Post:0fd43758-1818-4029-ba07-851a451916b4">Re: Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]I sometimes wish I had told my guests "no pictures during the ceremony" but, I do love some of the pictures that guests took. So, it's a crapshoot. Most of the pictures that we got back from the back of the ceremony area though, had dozens of guests with their cameras in the air, and it looked pretty ridiculous. I will say this, if you don't do a "no cameras", at least remind your WEDDING PARTY. My partner's sister took photos while standing at the altar. 90% of the pictures with her in it were with her holding up her camera or looking down at the screen. I was furious. After the wedding, I started looking around and found that this is not an uncommon problem. There were at least a handful of brides on my month board that had the same issue.
Posted by cmgilpin[/QUOTE]

I remember a post about this! I was beyond shocked!!! THAT would have been a bridezilla moment for me :P.

melb2013 · December 2012

At my FSIL's wedding last month, my FI's aunt sat behind him and had her video camera resting on his shoulder the whole so that she could get an uninterrupted view. He was pissssed. Just thought I'd share.

Even with the above story, I think it's rude to tell people not to use flash photography. I think it's great that friends and family are so excited for you to get married that they want to document it. I just don't see why it's a big deal.

MrsHoward2Be · December 2012

After I have seen multiple people posting Instagram pics during weddings I wouldn't allow people to bring cell phones into the ceremony area. In the reception it's fine. That's just rude to do that.

QueerFemme · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-photos-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5506428d-8d14-41d9-87e7-96d0e263c514Post:a4fb54a0-383f-416a-9414-755612576303">Re: Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]At my FSIL's wedding last month, my FI's aunt sat behind him and had her video camera resting on his shoulder the whole so that she could get an uninterrupted view. He was pissssed. Just thought I'd share. Even with the above story, I think it's rude to tell people not to use flash photography. I think it's great that friends and family are so excited for you to get married that they want to document it. I just don't see why it's a big deal.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

here's a picture of why it was a big deal to me:

Yep... that's us, getting ready to have our "kiss", with my partner's sister standing next to us, and looking at her camera. Almost every ceremony picture looks like this.

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/2/469365a3-df80-46c5-82b0-3ede34ff8b13.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/6/2/469365a3-df80-46c5-82b0-3ede34ff8b13.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>

mcda04 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-photos-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:5506428d-8d14-41d9-87e7-96d0e263c514Post:a4fb54a0-383f-416a-9414-755612576303">Re: Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]At my FSIL's wedding last month, my FI's aunt sat behind him and had her video camera resting on his shoulder the whole so that she could get an uninterrupted view. He was pissssed. Just thought I'd share. Even with the above story, I think it's rude to tell people not to use flash photography. I think it's great that friends and family are so excited for you to get married that they want to document it. I just don't see why it's a big deal.
Posted by melb2013[/QUOTE]

My photographer told our guests not to take pictures of us and i thought it was super rude of him, after i saw the pictures of us walking out of the church i understood why, all our guests are holding up their camera's or you can see a bunch of little lights in the background which kinda ruined the pretty natural lighting in the church.

I'll def. make a note of it for all future weddings i attend.

mattycam · December 2012

Prior to my entrance, Our pastor made an announcement to our guests saying no pictures are to be taken during the ceremony. I was taken aback by that and thought that was rude when I heard because there was no policy in the church regarding this and he did not ask me or H our thoughts on this.

Fortunately, my photographer asked me prior to the procession as she thought there was some kind of rule for no pics being taken in the church (so glad she asked or else we would not have any ceremony pics!!).

People still took pics regardless but after reading everyone's posts I can understand asking guests not to take photos during the ceremony.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2012

People should be allowed to take photographs for their personal use.

If your venue is indoors and small, I can see asking for no flashes. Happens all the time at plays and concerts. But it IS a little controling to assume people are going to ruin your pictures. Our photographer gave us over 700 photos, taken over about 8 hours. 1 flash here and there really won't ruin what you're paying for.

OwningAHome1981 · December 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-guests-to-not-take-photos-during-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:5506428d-8d14-41d9-87e7-96d0e263c514Post:d863d9b3-eea8-46d4-ba43-28fc9c4eae08">Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Recently my photographer for our wedding next December posted a picture of a guest actually ruining a great shot she had taken of the bride and groom walking down the aisle because they used a flash, which ended up right between the couple</strong>. After she posted that, it got me thinking about a friend of mine who said no flashes about a year ago, to which I remember thinking "wow, control freak" LOL! After seeing that picture, however, I completely get it! We are paying a lot of money for our photographer to get the perfect shot, we aren't paying the guests! Is it appropriate to put in the ceremony programs "No flash photography, please" or something along the lines of how we understand the excitement of getting that perfect shot for yourself, but please be understanding that we have hired a professional photographer to get that perfect shot for us (obviously not those exact words). I know people have posted something in a frame, but I'd be afraid that will get over looked, and if the priest announces it too early, I'd be afraid people would miss the announcement. Let me know what you think!
Posted by spudshirley[/QUOTE]

A good photographer should know how to overcome these things. I'm not saying your photographer isn't good but you can't plan for everything to go perfectly and they need to be able to deal with any situation. Plus, there is always photoshop. Don;t like something, just remove it via photoshop, lol.

NO2012 · December 2012

People are going to do what they are going to do regardless. The wonderful shots of DH and I coming down the aisle have a good friend of mine trying to hop out of the way after taking her own pictures with her phone. Granted, this friend sent me that pic within days of the wedding and it is beautiful and is still my FB profile pic. Then last week I got my pro pics back and all of those shot are marred by this friend somewhere in the frame. What are you going to do besides photoshop?? Irritating, but even a sign asking people not to do it isn't going to stop them. The videographer's camera is in alot of those ceremony pics too.

spudshirley · December 2012

Thanks for all the responses! I work 6 days a week and crazy hours so I haven't gotten to respond to anyone.

I originally thought it was a crazy request until I thought about some of the things my photographer mentioned (I get 2 so I'm lucky anyway haha). To be honest, I'm not worried about it as much as just concerned of the fact that, let's face it, I'm paying good money to have professional shots done at the ceremony. I don't care if they're taking pictures (as long as they aren't cutting in front of the photographer and what not), it's more the flashes that I'm afraid will end up, like some people above mentioned, washing us out, or taking over the pictures. The Church is not very big to begin with, and we are planning on a lot of people showing up (I am a teacher in a school as well as a dance studio, so lots of extra guests!). While I am beyond confident in our photographer (I have a friend who used her and loved her), I guess I'm more concerned over people's flashes ruining pictures. Perhaps to some people it sounds "controlling", which is something I am very far from, but I think if this is the only thing I'm slightly unsure about for the big day (one year from tomorrow!!!!) I'm doing pretty darn good! Thanks for the feedback!

spock-of-vulcan · December 2012

I want pictures from the guests too (the more pictures the better!), but recently I was at a wedding where this one guy was all in the aisle and everything in everyone else's way. It was awful. So I'm going to have the officiant say something like, "You're welcome to take pictures, but please try not to get in the way of the photographer!" We might also add something about staying in the moment, because I hate when the whole crowd is just looking at their phones/cameras the whole time rather than enjoying the actual ceremony!

Kimchi Waygook · December 2012

My photographer has this listed in the contract:

Family and friends are permitted to photograph as long as they do not interfere with the studio photographer. No one is permitted to photograph where and when the photographer creates his posed family and bridal pictures. It is your responsibility to resolve any issues if brought to your attention by the photographer.

And I totally understand this. I've been at too many weddings where the photographer cannot do his job because everyone is taking photos at the same time and being disruptive. I'm mulling over the "no flash photography" and "stay in the moment" comments. It's a small service, so I may just spread the info around to the guests ahead of time. I'm definitely going to appoint one person from each sode of the family to "police" the family photos and keep others from taking photos so I don't have to.

mollyandnat · December 2012

We're very adament about having a completely unplugged ceremony.....we don't have to worry about people using flash because it's outside in the sunshine, but we don't want people taking photos at all. I can't stand when there are a million cameras/iphones out in the professional photos, but more than that I want people to be present and experience the ceremony with us. We're going to have a sign/put it in the program, and at the beginning our officiant is going to announce something along the lines of "We don't want you to experience this wedding through a viewfinder, so please put your cameras away." Or something. We're going to keep it light but make sure people get the message.

hilarymills · December 2012

I plan on having an "unplugged wedding." We have our own photographer, he'll take photos, and we want people to truly enjoy the wedding and not throught the lens of a cemera. I'm printing in the program: "The bride and groom have asked that you share in their wedding fully and not through the lens of a camera or cell phone." I'll have a sign at the entrance, and my ushers will enforce it.

Asking guests to NOT take photos during ceremony?

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