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how soon can i ask for RSVPs?

erinhepinstallerinhepinstall member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
my wedding is June 9th.

i was going to request that I recieved the RSVPs by May 1st, however my venue requires that i give them a final head count and payment 30-days prior to the event (May 9th), which only gives a nine day leay-way window for additional RSVPs to come in.

How much a head of time can i request RSVPs without being rude? Could I ask for them by April 15th?- if so, when would i send the invites out prior to the "RSVP due date". - 30 days? 
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Re: how soon can i ask for RSVPs?

  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Invitations should go out a max of 2 months before the wedding - any sooner, and people are likely to not know their plans that far in advance and could lose the response card/invitation/etc. while waiting to figure it out.  As for the RSVP date, you really don't need more than like 10 days to track down non-RSVP-ers (just start calling people who haven't RSVP'ed on May 2, and let them know you need an answer by May 8 or you'll have to assume they're a no), so I would probably leave the RSVP date as May 1.  Any earlier, and as a guest I'd think you were nuts.
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  • ThankfulSnailThankfulSnail member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-soon-can-i-ask-for-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e3a3638-661b-42c9-8764-9b059cf219c4Post:6b4c7b6d-75d0-4e23-9dda-5b7cfaad4d79">Re: how soon can i ask for RSVPs?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>9 days should be plenty of track down missing RSVPs</strong>.  Don't ask for RSVPs by April 15. That is way too early. Any way you can push the headcount/payment date closer to the wedding day with your venue?  I don't understand why they needs a month's notice of headcount.
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

    <div>I agree with this. I don't think you'll need more than a week and a half to get the RSVPs from people who don't send them.</div>
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  • DramaGeekDramaGeek member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    Whoa, May 1 seems REALLY early for a June wedding.  There's no way we'd know at that point if we could both make it.  I would definitely double check that - are you sure they need final headcount, or is it an estimated for May 9?  I've never heard of a venue needing 30 day notice of final headcount.

    If that is the way it is and there's no changing it, then leave it May 1 and realize you may have some people who flat don't know if they can attend by May 9.
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  • mrsryan2012mrsryan2012 member
    First Comment
    We asked for ours to be back 1 month before our wedding because we need to know a final head count, etc for caterer.  You can do whatever makes you feel more comfortable.  
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  • dori851dori851 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-soon-can-i-ask-for-rsvps?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:8e3a3638-661b-42c9-8764-9b059cf219c4Post:6b4c7b6d-75d0-4e23-9dda-5b7cfaad4d79">Re: how soon can i ask for RSVPs?</a>:
    [QUOTE]9 days should be plenty of track down missing RSVPs.  Don't ask for RSVPs by April 15. That is way too early. Any way you can push the headcount/payment date closer to the wedding day with your venue?  I don't understand why they needs a month's notice of headcount.
    Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

    Ditto all of this.
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  • lanie8992lanie8992
    First Comment First Anniversary
    My venue needs a final head count 30 before the wedding also. So I am setting an April 21st RSVP date for a June 2nd wedding. It's early I know, but to me if people want to attend they decide to attend and make it work. If not, then they won't attend. They either want to be there or not. We also have a lot of OOT guests and I'm sure they will want to make travel plans as early as possible, if they are attending.
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  • KristinEileenKristinEileen member
    First Comment
    My venue requires a final head count and 50% of the final bill 30 days out. My RSVP date is the March 16th for a April 28th wedding. You have to do what works for you. Etiquette guidelines only work when you have to give a final head count a week prior to your wedding date. 
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