Wedding Etiquette Forum

ugh, I need personal advice

And I need an unbiased opinion.  I don't know who else to ask.  This will probably be long, if you get through it, I'll be so grateful.

As  (I think) everyone knows I go to court reporting school.  I am starting my 5th year this year.  I am aware that this type of education is a "go at your own pace" type of education, but on average people graduate in about 3 to 4 years.  I am to a point, where it has become more and more difficult for me to pass the speeds and I am getting more and more frustrated with it.  I just want to be done.

I currently work part time in a law office, and they need me to be full time.  They have started looking into hiring someone else to fill in the time that I can't be there because of class. My boss is constantly asking me when I'm going to be done with school and what my plans are.  Its sort of annoying, but if I were in his situation, I'd be annoying too.  He's trying to let me keep working, but he needs more help.

As I'm sure you're aware, I am getting to the point of "should I drop out or not?"

I've made a pros and cons list, and I feel stuck.  I need advice.  So if you don't mind reading my list and giving me your 2 cents, I'd appreciate it so very much.

(I told you this was long)

Pros of Court Reporting:
- court reporters are in demand, there's always a job
-different job options.  Freelance, CART, Official, closed captioning
- they make a good income
-my 5+ years wouldn't be a complete waste of time

Cons of Court Reporting:
- I'm frustrated, constantly stressed about school
- School is expensive
-My steno machine is my mortal enemy

Pros of quitting school and working in the office:
-I know I have a job.  Its known they want me to stay
-No school stress
-more money (but considerably less than court reporters)
-I work with wonderful people

Cons of quitting school
- my parents have put in a lot of money for my schooling.  They paid for all of my education until I was married.
-Would I feel bad about not finishing?
-What happens to the office when the lawyer wants to retire?  He's 55 now.
-I wouldn't move up in the office.  There is an office manager who isn't much older than me, and she's been there 17 years.  She isn't leaving.

I want to note, that I would probably only be working about 3 to 4 years.  When Nick and I start having a family, I'll be staying at home.  I would go back to work when kids go to school. (That's the plan anyway...but Nick's job is pretty secure, he works for a steady corporation)

The 2 things that are really getting to me is how much my parents have spent, and all the time I've spent.  I hate to think I've wasted it, but if I continue, does that mean I'm wasting more time?

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Re: ugh, I need personal advice

  • 1. Can you get a court reporting job at all without a degree? Like can you apply and say, "I have a steno machine and can type 200 WPM?" Or is this a field where they need a piece of paper?

    2. Can you go back to school in, say, 10 years when your kids are in school, and pick up at the same level? And THEN get a court reporting job?
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  • Once your (theoretical) children are in school, how easy will it be for you to get back into the labor force if you haven't finished school? And not to be a Debbie Downer, but what if, god forbid, something happens to Nick? Or if you get divorced? Are you going to be able to support yourself in the fashion to which you are accustomed?
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:e7a21a98-dbdd-48dc-9ba5-607ec78b4613">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]1. Can you get a court reporting job at all without a degree? Like can you apply and say, "I have a steno machine and can type 200 WPM?" Or is this a field where they need a piece of paper?  Sort of.  I have to take a state certification test, but its at 225 words per minute.  <strong>I have a whole 'nuther speed I still need to pass</strong>

     2. Can you go back to school in, say, 10 years when your kids are in school, and pick up at the same level? And THEN get a court reporting job?<strong> I would probably have to retake some of the speeds.  If you stay off of your machine for so long, you lose speed. Its definitely a "use it or lose it" type of skill.</strong>
    Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]
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  • 1st: How much longer is getting this degree going to take. I'm a double education major and I'm down to my last year-- and then hopefully a job. If you've got just a year left-- finish it out.

    2nd: Wit the finacne description you give-- is it nessecary for you to work now?

    3rd I am to a point, where it has become more and more difficult for me to pass the speeds-- I totatlly don't get this point-- why is it getting hard to pass? Are you just burnt out, and that's why it's hard to pass?

    IMO-- I would finish school. It will provide a good example for your kids-- in the future-- to not quit when things get hard, always finish what you start. It doesn't sound like your income in nessecary for your and your husband's lifestyle-- so I would finish school. Then when your kids go to school, you can see if they have an opening or do court reporting.
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  • That seems like you're in a tough spot. I'm about to run to a meeting, but what I do in these situations is have someone a"tell" me what to do (as in, just pick an option). If I feel disappointed or frustrated by the thing they're "telling" me to do, I know that the other option is the way to go!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:ee9e5666-d94b-42dd-b26c-084df3b62799">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ditto Mery's questions and also, how much longer do you have? If its a semester or two, I'd be tempted to just stick it out.
    Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]

    Its a "go at your own pace" sort of thing.  I went through speeds 20-160 wpm relatively fast.  I hit 180 and I was there for a year.  I've been in 200 for about 8 months now.
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  • Personally, I would stick with it. You've invested a lot of time, money, and energy and by the end of it you'll have your degree/certification/whatever they call it. And like you said, you'll have great opportunities, even if you take time off and go back when your kids are older.

    If you can't move up where you are now, then eventually you might feel like you're in a dead-end job and come to regret not finishing. Whereas, by finishing school you have a greater pool of opportunities. I'm very pro-education, obviously, and don't see it as wasting time at all.

    Plus, you could teach. A friend of ours is a court reporter/stenographer and now she teaches part-time so she can be home after her kids get out of school.

    I know it sucks, though. For my Masters we were reading 40 to 50 long novels a semester, writing at least 6 papers a class, and had a 30-page thesis to write. but it was so worth it. I think finishing would be worth it for you too.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:c8a30c9d-b9b4-411c-807d-1f96082981ca">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]1st: How much longer is getting this degree going to take. I'm a double education major and I'm down to my last year-- and then hopefully a job. If you've got just a year left-- finish it out. 2nd: Wit the finacne description you give-- is it nessecary for you to work now? 3rd I am to a point, where it has become more and more difficult for me to pass the speeds-- I totatlly don't get this point-- why is it getting hard to pass? Are you just burnt out, and that's why it's hard to pass? IMO-- I would finish school. It will provide a good example for your kids-- in the future-- to not quit when things get hard, always finish what you start. It doesn't sound like your income in nessecary for your and your husband's lifestyle-- so I would finish school. Then when your kids go to school, you can see if they have an opening or do court reporting.

    I'm not sure how long it will take.  It could be 6 months, it could be a year.

    We are okay financially, but I'm tired of school, I'm burned out, I just want to work.

    The speeds are getting fast, and its harder to keep up.  Right now in class I listen to someone reading to me at 200 words per minute.  I can't keep up.  I've been trying for almost a year.
    Posted by srkropf[/QUOTE]
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:9f71a2c3-1d73-49f5-b3f2-f93ccc9ff8a4">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]That seems like you're in a tough spot. I'm about to run to a meeting, but what I do in these situations is have someone a"tell" me what to do (as in, just pick an option). If I feel disappointed or frustrated by the thing they're "telling" me to do, I know that the other option is the way to go!
    Posted by polichik[/QUOTE]

    haha, I see what you're saying Poli :)

    I just need to hear opinions.  I'm tired of hearing "whatever makes you happy" or "I don't care what you do."

    I just need input, thoughts of other people.
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  • edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:80346a02-cc91-40e9-babe-6aebdbdbf23a">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]Sorry, I did read that. I meant what speed do you need to get to, or is it a once you get to X speed you can be hired type thing?
    Posted by lovethebeach16[/QUOTE]


    I have to be able to type at 225 words per minute at 95% accuracy for the state cert.

    I am currently in the 200 speed, and nowhere near 95%
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  • edited June 2010
    I get that it's go at your own pace, but when are you "done"?

    What's the max speed? Or what's the goal?

    EDIT: Your posted your reply just as I posted my question.  I gotcha.
  • edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:3f3dbba9-f4e4-4045-9eb1-36207df20ae3">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I get that it's go at your own pace, but when are you "done"? What's the max speed? Or what's the goal?
    Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]
     225 words per minute with 95% accuracy.
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  • Oh, never mind.

    Okay, what about option C?

    C: Quit job now (assuming you guys can budget and be okay) and just do your school full time to just kick it's ass.  Maybe give yourself a goal, like in 2 months, after full time steno, I will be done.
  • How long do you think it will take for you to finish?

     

    I know that it's stressful and frustrating to have study hanging over your head when you're uncertain about it- but at the same time, I think that you've put in a lot of time and it would be a pity to throw that away for a short term gain. 

     

    Can you defer your studies for a year or two and then resume?

     

    (sorry if you've answered some of these questions already- I'm cooking and knotting concurrently and doing neither well!)

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:b3b969bd-9129-4d85-8f19-cb7345b1b75f">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh, never mind. Okay, what about option C? C: Quit job now (assuming you guys can budget and be okay) and just do your school full time to just kick it's ass.  Maybe give yourself a goal, like in 2 months, after full time steno, I will be done.
    Posted by AlexiaANDRobert[/QUOTE]

    I've mentioned that to Nick, and he's not cool with that.  He likes having the cushion of my paycheck.

    We're okay right now, and I honestly think if I stopped working now, we'd be okay.  As bad as this sounds, all i pay for is my car expenses, and extras, like when I go shopping and whatnot.  However, he gets uncomfortable at the thought of me not working at all.
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  • I agree with the PPs who asked how easy it's going to be to get into the work force in your field without a decree. I'm in a similar situation.  I went to school for a particular license.  There are three parts to a test you have to take in order to get your license. I took the first two parts and passed, but when it was time for me to take the third part, I was told I couldn't because I didn't have 2 years experience in my field.  So now I'm working in a similar field gaining my experience.  Even though I don't plan on working once I get pregnant, once I have my 2 years experience, I'm still going to get my license because 1. It's a good back up plan. 2. Once my (future) kids are in school I'll probably go back to work.

    If I were you, I would continue with school.
  • Oh, I missed the burned out part.

    If you're burned out, I think I'd work - a lot, like double what you're working now (because it seems you're working part time) and put the "extra" away and revisit school full time in about a year and have that "extra" income to help out.
  • Sun and Beach---

    The only problem with taking that much time off, is I'd lose my speed.  I'd probably be back down to 160 words per minute.  I took about a month off because of the wedding and starting my current job, and even then I lost speed.  I can't imagine going a year.
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  • the use-it-or-lose it thing was what I was afraid of.

    I've definitely been in this boat, and still am, to some extent. Personally, I'd probably keep plugging along, but I concede that might not be right for everyone.
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  • My opinion is that you should do your best to stick it out and finish school. You might end up regretting it if you quit, but I doubt you'll regret it if you finish. That's how I look at these things anyway.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:082a6a9f-41a9-409f-87d6-bee921723edb">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with the PPs who asked how easy it's going to be to get into the work force in your field without a decree. I'm in a similar situation.  I went to school for a particular license.  There are three parts to a test you have to take in order to get your license. I took the first two parts and passed, but when it was time for me to take the third part, I was told I couldn't because I didn't have 2 years experience in my field.  So now I'm working in a similar field gaining my experience.  Even though I don't plan on working once I get pregnant, once I have my 2 years experience, I'm still going to get my license because 1. It's a good back up plan. 2. Once my (future) kids are in school I'll probably go back to work. If I were you, I would continue with school.
    Posted by angiebear11[/QUOTE]


    That worries me, not having a degree.  I have an associates right now in "legal transcription" which is basically a glorified secretary, but there doesn't seem to be a shortage in secretaries.
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  • Ok now I see your answers, let me revise my advice!

     

    It's hard because, even if it is a use it or lose it skill, if you finish before having kids and work for awhile, you'll build contacts- and that's what it is about.

     

    Personally, I think I'd give myself a six month break. Work full time and rest my mind on the issue for awhile, and then re-evaluate. I wouldn't withdraw completely right now, though.

  • I can understand your frustration, but I really think you'd kick yourself later for dropping out now.  You've put in 5 years and lots of money (I looked into a court reporting school here, and it's not cheap); if you give up now and decide after your kids are in school that you want to be a court reporter- you'll have to nearly start over because you'll have lost your speed/skills. 

    I honestly think you should stick with it so you don't give up on everything you've already worked so hard for.  Don't even take a break, or you won't go back.   My 2 cents.
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  • I think Mery and Sarah raised some excellent points.  I think you would also feel a great sense of accomplishment by finishing.

    You have to do what's best for yourself.  That includes a lot of things like sense of accomplishment, Sara's points, sense of independence if need be, etc.

    One thing I noticed, or rather did not notice, was if court reporting made you happy.  I know it makes good money but that's not reason enough to do it, you know?  Is there perhaps a field of work you'd really enjoy?  Maybe school partially taking so long because you aren't happy.  My brother had that issue and once he got into what he liked he zoomed right through.

    I'm also in the camp that I think a degree of some sort is so crucial in this day and age.  I don't want you to be in a pickle in 10 years. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:eaf799f6-ff88-4bdb-9854-eeadfe3dee9b">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Sun and Beach</strong>--- The only problem with taking that much time off, is I'd lose my speed.  I'd probably be back down to 160 words per minute.  I took about a month off because of the wedding and starting my current job, and even then I lost speed.  I can't imagine going a year.
    <p>Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]</p><p> </p><p>Haha. I like sun and beach! ;P</p><p> </p><p>anyway, I think you need at least a couple of months off. If you're burnt out, you're not going to get through it quickly in any case, which extends the time (and money) you're spending in school. If I were you, I'd give myself a few months break, even at the risk of losing speed (better than losing sanity) and then go back and kick some ass.</p>
  • I think part of the reason I'm frustrated is I transcribed a test after work and I thought I passed it.  I missed it by about 80 words. 

    I'm tempted at the end of the quarter (2nd week of August) if I don't pass anything to bring up to Nick again about me not working.  I just don't want to press too hard, ya know?

    I feel sort of bad because he pays for everything now (except above mentioned) and I don't want to sound like a snob, or ungrateful but I don't see a big deal of me not working while in school, because I know he can afford to take care of us.  (God I feel like an ass even saying that)
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  • I think you should keep up with it.  Court reporters are awesome in my book.  I sometimes get sidetracked while taking depositions at how awesome of a skill it is. 

    Maybe take a vacation?

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  • Shelly, what is the likelihood that you won't be able to do it?  I'm not trying to be mean, but you seem to be really struggling.  If you can't do it, will it be an issue of trying and not being successful?  Also, do you practice at home to try and make it better or avoid it like the plague?  Can you dedicate more time to steno practice?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:12d24761-2250-483d-b451-786e5bcf46cd">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: ugh, I need personal advice : That worries me, not having a degree.  I have an associates right now in "legal transcription" which is basically a glorified secretary, but there doesn't seem to be a shortage in secretaries.
    Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

    Oh I didn't mean to imply that you didn't have any type of decree, just that you wouldn't have your certification in steno.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-need-personal-advice?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:a6f9588a-c449-4425-8160-29b91e004f16Post:891db009-99dd-4cb3-95ee-5b4f56aa0d87">Re: ugh, I need personal advice</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think Mery and Sarah raised some excellent points.  I think you would also feel a great sense of accomplishment by finishing. You have to do what's best for yourself.  That includes a lot of things like sense of accomplishment, Sara's points, sense of independence if need be, etc. One thing I noticed, or rather did not notice, was if court reporting made you happy.  I know it makes good money but that's not reason enough to do it, you know?  Is there perhaps a field of work you'd really enjoy?  Maybe school partially taking so long because you aren't happy.  My brother had that issue and once he got into what he liked he zoomed right through. I'm also in the camp that I think a degree of some sort is so crucial in this day and age.  I don't want you to be in a pickle in 10 years. 
    Posted by andyandhillary[/QUOTE]

    Its funny, I went into this school bc I didn't know what to do and it sounded interesting, and I did really like school.  Its just the past (almost) two years have been hell, and its sort of bogged me down.
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