new to all of this, literally just engaged and already military questions...

Re: new to all of this, literally just engaged and already military questions...

• jenniferlaurenb

  

  December 2009 edited December 2011

  first off, congrats!  What an exciting time!  I can't give you exact answers, but I can do my very best to tell you what it was like for me!
  
  My husband and I got engaged my senior year in college as well, and a few months later I graduated (he was in flight school.)  PIcking a date with the military is pretty difficult, (I know that's not what you want to hear, but just telling you like it is! (Or like it was for me)  It's hard to plan anything, let alone a wedding months in advance because it usually isn't set in stone when or where they're going to be, and if they'll get their requested leave approved.  (Also, they have to be at their current duty station to get leave signed off by someone, or at least that's my understanding of it.)  I'm sure this isn't the case with everyone, but it's how my friends and I've experienced it.
  
  I can tell you what WE did though.  My husband is a military pilot, and most get Christmas or New Years off.  We wanted to have a big planned out wedding, so we set the date for January 2nd---that way, the chances of it overlapping with his winter break were very high, (much higher than just planning ahead for a random date.)  I was able to plan it out a year in advance, and while he couldn't get "confirmed" leave---it was as good as it gets!  It also fell within a pocket of break in his aviation training, (but that can always change...not as secture.)I would say aim for a National holiday, 4th of July, Veteran's Day, Xmas, and that way you can get a safer bet.  (PS-It all worked out, and the wedding was great....just no honeymoon...yet--but we are planning on it soon!)
  
  Also, explain to all your vendors your situation, many will give you military discounts or give your deposit back if he can't get leave so you aren't left hanging!
  
  Again, can't speak for all military couples or situations, this is just my experience!
  
  Take care!
  Jenny

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• minekellyrich member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  all great points! its sooo many details and bits and peices.  It's also great knowing already that there are so many other people in the same situation whether it be a wedding, or just going through military life....i have to admit, 4 yrs ago when we first started dating, i was sooo taken aback by the military part of everything...that was just a month after dating (summer before college) so i was bummed at first bc i was already hook, line and sinker and I had nevered considered dating with the military etc....
  
  but all aweeesome points---now I am a hugeee disney fanatic---there is a military resort called Shades of Green?? News to me! I going to go google that now....
  
  And great idea about the wedding insurance, I didn't know thta existed---I am the first person in my family within the last 20 years to get married so this is all new!!!!
  
  Any more ideas or helpful info is great! Also how long does it typically take to get leave approved?
  
  

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• hegrigsby member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  My FI and I just graduated in December with the exact same situation you are in. When we got engaged in March it was almost impossible to set a date because of the pending orders. He was Army ROTC, with the assignment coming in late November.
  To set a date, since we also wanted a big planned wedding, I went to talk to the Col.'s wife who works with Army ROTC. She told me that Dec. '09 graduates could not get sent to training before Feb. 1, 2010. So, completely relying on her, we set a date for January 16, 2010...two weeks from today!
  Even if he did leave at the earliest time, my FI and I are still having the wedding we wanted. Turns out though, he is not leaving until August 2010!! Talk about a wait.
  Anyways, I hope this helps a little. Good luck!

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• texaslolamy member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  Okay I know little or nothing about the ROTC programs, so forgive me if I'm totally off here. Could you get married before he graduates like in early Dec or late Nov? This is assuming (again I know nothing about ROTC) that he isn't active until after graduation and only has the weekend commitments. If you can, I'd suggest getting married before the military can totally interfere with your wedding date.

  
  

  I tell you this for two reasons. First of all, I'm marrying my guy when he returns from Marine boot camp. It's SO stressful because I'm worried about our date having to change if he gets set back. Also, you can get considerable financial benefits from getting married earlier. I don't know you or your job situation, but having guaranteed health insurance is something to be coveted in this current economic state. The extra pay and stuff doesn't hurt either.

  
  

  Good luck!

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• mlashley

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  This whole military thing is a bit overwhelming to start! We are booking a wedding for June of 2011 and putting in for his leave now, as soon as he is approved we are doing wedding insurance. And saying our prayers that nothing goes awry!

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• kyrgyzstan member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-of-this-literally-just-engaged-already-military-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:1078e196-dd6f-4f9c-9ea1-328966396088Post:513b4e31-490f-4ede-a5a1-031c665e472f">Re: new to all of this, literally just engaged and already military questions...</a>:
  [QUOTE]First of all, I'm marrying my guy when he returns from Marine boot camp. It's SO stressful because I'm worried about our date having to change if he gets set back. Also, you can get considerable financial benefits from getting married earlier. I don't know you or your job situation, but having guaranteed health insurance is something to be coveted in this current economic state. The extra pay and stuff doesn't hurt either. Good luck!
  Posted by texaslolamy[/QUOTE]
  
  NEVER, EVER GET MARRIED FOR THE FINANCIAL ASPECTS! Good Lord. BAH isn't worth it, Tricare isn't worth it, getting to live together isn't worth it. This is why people troll this board. Because of statements like this. Especially from nineteen year olds.
  
  Some marriages work for E1s - E3s and their teenage girlfriends. But they are few and far between. Marriage is work, a military marriage is the hardest kind, and most teens can't handle it either. Heck, lots of grown women can't handle either.
  
  I wish the best for you, but saying something like that makes me worried for you and your fiance.

  I hate Dave Ramsey

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• minekellyrich member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  yea! i just looked into wedding insurance at everyones suggestions, and looks like that is a given with everying. 
  
  No, our situation for us is I graduate may 2010, he graduates a semester after (Dec 2010 and commissions then but then has 3 months or longer until his first assignment comes through)... for us, we have been dating now 4 years, locally in the same town (so all breaks, summer, any chance we get) and then we go to school long distance relationship style from mass to florida.  it's been hard, and hard work, but worth it so much more in the end.  We are getting married for the reasons that we truly love each other and really do not wish to spend all this time away from each other.  We have made it work, and I am ready for the challenge that I know the military will be as a miliatry wife...but I know with the support of my family, friends, and even his friends (who are all rotc guys--and gals---who have embraced me open arms).  They have been amazing in being support system, and I am ok with this.  I realize that he may be deployed, and he may not.  We will be moving, and frequently at times, and I am ok with that ( I can be antsy by nature). 
  
  But yeah, we are looking to get married in 2011....we've thought about jan-march since that seems to be an ok window, but we had a family wedding recently that was in that window and the snow was awful...so we're hoping for a later time.  I have a list of questions he is bringing to his det for rotc when he gets back to school to confirm to help us figure it all out, and we will then go from there...
  
  eeek still in a mode of shock/sinking in. 
  
  thanks for all the ideas and advice!
  
  

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• texaslolamy member

  

  January 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_new-of-this-literally-just-engaged-already-military-questions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:1078e196-dd6f-4f9c-9ea1-328966396088Post:cc30b59e-90b9-4bf0-9f8a-b91a41af1ddb">Re: new to all of this, literally just engaged and already military questions...</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re: new to all of this, literally just engaged and already military questions... : NEVER, EVER GET MARRIED FOR THE FINANCIAL ASPECTS! Good Lord. BAH isn't worth it, Tricare isn't worth it, getting to live together isn't worth it. This is why people troll this board. Because of statements like this. Especially from nineteen year olds. Some marriages work for E1s - E3s and their teenage girlfriends. But they are few and far between. Marriage is work, a military marriage is the hardest kind, and most teens can't handle it either. Heck, lots of grown women can't handle either. I wish the best for you, but saying something like that makes me worried for you and your fiance.
  Posted by WishIcouldbeinthe'stan[/QUOTE]<div>
  </div><div>Oh, Lord no, I didn't mean it like that. We're definitely not getting married for the financial aspects; that would be suicide. I would also never ever ever advise that. Money is the dumbest reason to marry. We're getting married because we're ready to get married, and we know we can make it work, military or not. I'd rather be married to my man and see him one day a year than be with anyone else for 365 days of the year. </div><div>
  </div><div>****So to clarify--I meant it like this--if you are ready, there is no sense waiting years for no reason. If you're ready, do it sooner rather than later.**** </div>

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• marissag818 member

  

  February 2010 edited December 2011

  can someone tell me what wedding inusrance they got. i cant find any that will cover me and my finace until he gets approved leave. are there any that cover without tha??

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