Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Military Brides
Military Brides
New Discussion

AW: Updates :)

ZeldakinsZeldakins member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Military Brides
So I've kinda fallen off the face of the Earth as far as planning goes, just cause there were so many things to wait on...but everything seems to be lining up and now we're working with 2-3 tentative dates and deployment/work schedules. I think this week I'll be taking my best friend with me looking/trying on some wedding dresses and doing some research on soooo many different things. It's all so exciting, and so frightening at the same time...time's just flying by too! Hopefully within the next couple of weeks we can also talk to parents and see if they want to contribute anything and make sure everyone's on the same page. I feel so awkward though...I mean, it'd be great if they contributed...but I don't feel right outrightly asking for money. How does one go about this??!! Haha, I'm gonna have a lot of questions in the next few months. XD
Report Reply to Post

Re: AW: Updates :)

  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Unfortunately you don't ask for money. If they want to contribute they will offer. I'm sure they know that you are planning a wedding and can decide if they want to put forth money.

    Remember too that money can come with strings so for some couples its not worth it to have parents give money anyway. 
    image
    Report Reply
  • ZeldakinsZeldakins member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    See, his family is more reserved and I can see them contributing nothing more than their presence (this is mostly his dad and stepmother) then there is my family...who are probably going to assume all parties are splitting things evenly. AND lastly there's FI and I who are trying to make this work within our budget because we think, "hey it's our wedding, we should pay for all of it."  Now we just have to get everyone on the same page.
    Report Reply
  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    I wouldn't mention money to anyone then. Like you said, no one is responsible to contribute to the wedding. Don't ask for money, don't mention money and don't mention costs to anyone.
    image
    Report Reply
  • ZeldakinsZeldakins member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    gotcha. no money talk. lol
    Report Reply
  • crimewatchercrimewatcher
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_aw-updates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:4bf40c07-9bf8-435b-ac0f-50b78f9b7d48Post:a155aca7-a6d9-4cb3-a2e4-e7500ac17361">Re: AW: Updates :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Unfortunately you don't ask for money. If they want to contribute they will offer. I'm sure they know that you are planning a wedding and can decide if they want to put forth money. <strong>Remember too that money can come with strings so for some couples its not worth it to have parents give money anyway. </strong>
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

    This was us! I loved our day in the end but if I had a do over I would probably not take either parties offer for $$.
    I want the COOOOOKIE!
    image
    Credit to Awkward Family Pet Photos
    http://tiny.cc/kpfcdw
    Report Reply
  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_aw-updates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:4bf40c07-9bf8-435b-ac0f-50b78f9b7d48Post:c0f943b0-5686-4b2b-a1b0-79f1900bc5d9">Re: AW: Updates :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: AW: Updates :) : This was us! I loved our day in the end but if I had a do over I would probably not take either parties offer for $$.
    Posted by crimewatcher[/QUOTE]
    We were actually lucky. H's mom gave us money with no strings attached. My parents paid for most of the reception, but we agreed on most things. In fact the things we didn't agree on was when they wanted to spend more money haha and I was trying to keep it cheaper. But my mom *just*had to have a cookie and brownie passed out to everyone and other random things like that. <div>
    </div><div>I could never understand how people could put strings on the money. I mean, if i wanted to do something rude to my guests my parents wouldn't have helped out, but when it came to decor or something, they were cool with whatever we wanted. But really, my mom and I agreed on everything anyway ;) </div>
    image
    Report Reply
  • ZeldakinsZeldakins member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Firstly, HIII SHAAAANNNN!! :) AND NEXTLY, lol.. I definitely don't want much more than occasional input from family....I know each side of the family is going to have differing opinions since this is interracial and all...if we were to let only one side pick...well, can you say culture clash? 
    Report Reply
  • kara811kara811 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_aw-updates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:4bf40c07-9bf8-435b-ac0f-50b78f9b7d48Post:5fdbd446-5725-4804-a732-bea9c6e16de4">Re: AW: Updates :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Firstly, HIII SHAAAANNNN!! :) AND NEXTLY, lol.. I definitely don't want much more than occasional input from family...<strong>.I know each side of the family is going to have differing opinions since this is interracial and all...if we were to let only one side pick...well, can you say culture clash? </strong>
    Posted by Zeldakins[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is why we paid for our own wedding and made all the decisions ourselves. Yes our parents did have some input here and there but everything really was us(or me, when it came to things H didn't care for). We were able to mix both of our cultures into the wedding so I think it turned out perfectly, but all said and done, we loved the day but definitely would have loved to not have spent that much money on it. Haha. </div>
    Planning Bio /Married Bio
    Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ZeldakinsZeldakins member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Yea, we're trying to keep it small so it'll be within our means and something we can work with as far as time frame goes too. I think it's best to keep the 'rents out of this as far as planning and finances go. :) Now to get pinning and looking at DIY things for the big day lol
    Report Reply
  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    With Geeg, I was lucky enough my parents paid for most everything and let me do whatever I wanted. His parents paid for the flowers and also let us pick everything without their input. I'll never understand giving someone money for the wedding but making them do certain things with it. 
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • ZeldakinsZeldakins member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I don't see my parents really doing any of the strings attached, but as far as his dad and stepmum go, weeelllll....they're much more controlling. :/ His dad especially. His mom I can see helping out with creative ideas and DIY stuff. She's really good at that and she's super nice and we get along REALLY well. :)
    Report Reply
  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_aw-updates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:4bf40c07-9bf8-435b-ac0f-50b78f9b7d48Post:cc3fc004-9b3b-46ab-90df-e67f0b4a1ed5">Re: AW: Updates :)</a>:
    [QUOTE]With Geeg, I was lucky enough my parents paid for most everything and let me do whatever I wanted. His parents paid for the flowers and also let us pick everything without their input. <strong>I'll never understand giving someone money for the wedding but making them do certain things with it. </strong>
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Yeah, I don't get it either. I mean, as long as we're not talking live puppy centerpieces, I don't get putting that many limitations. The way I've seen it is that generally the mom sees it as a re-do of her day and it's not about what the couple wants. </div><div>
    </div><div>FI and I are paying for the majority of our wedding, but the 3 people who are helping us monetarily (mom, dad, dad's mom) have surprisingly few suggestions. And the ones they do have are actually upgrades from what we thought we'd do. My dad is just paying for all the rental tuxes, which is awesome, and he also is insistent that we have some liquor (we were going to do wine and beer), which we thought we couldn't afford, but he's paying. My grandmother is insistent on paying for the hotel room for the best man and his girlfriend, again, not something we could have afforded, but something very much appreciated that she's paying for. I think my mom's just so happy I'm getting married in the church that she's paying for part of it, which is a huge help. </div><div>
    </div><div>
    </div>
    image
    Report Reply
  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Yeah, I agree with the ladies who said don't talk openly about money.  I'd ask for volunteers to put things together or stuff envelopes, but that's about it.  

    Also, I'm sorry I didn't get up with you while I was in SA.  I was sick nearly the entire time I was down there.  Not good when you have to spend 18 hours in a car there and back.  
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards