I am really struggling with the reading selection for the ceremony; so much so, that a part of me wishes we were not getting married in a church.
A little background... I grew up in practicing roman catholic family. I went to french catholic school, was actively involved in the church as a child and as a tween and never missed a Sunday mass. Well, as a teen, I got sick; I suffered depression and eating disorders. It really shook my faith and to be honest, it really left a sour taste in my mouth in regards to organised religion. Having teachers and family come see me in the hospital and "pray for my forgiveness" when I was suffering as much as I was, really pushed me away. (I do understand the importance of religion in people's lives and by no means want to be disrespectful to their beliefs. It's a personal choice. I just didn't want to be a part of it anymore.)
FI's family are all very active in the Lutheran church and he still tries to go to service on Sundays. We had originally wanted to be married outside the church; we thought it would be easier than picking one of our religions over another (save issues with the families), but FI's mother wasn't too keen on that. FI then expressed his desire to be married in his church, and knowing how much it meant to him (and the fact that I do like the Pastor), I said ok (my mom wasn't so keen on it but understood the reasons). I haven't really had any second thoughts until recently.
I really enjoy our sessions with the Pastor (marriage prep); he's very modern and I do like our discussions. I may not be very "religious" but I am spiritual. I believe in being a good person and doing good things, so we get along haha. But there are lot of things about the scriptures that don't sit well with me. I can't seem to find readings that express words I 100% agree with and I definitely don't want readings that I don't believe in; it just seems wrong.
I haven't mentioned this to FI or to the Pastor... yet. I plan to bring it up tomorrow at our session but I'd like to give FI the heads up. I'm not sure how it will go, and I'm not sure what will happen if I don't just go along with it all.
Ladies, what are your thoughts on this? Should I just suck it up for FI? Should I even bring it up?