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Confused

lauralazerlauralazer member
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in California-Inland Empire
So...I just got engaged two weeks ago, on our two year anniversary actually.  =)  I'm just not sure when we should get married.  We want to buy a house next spring to move when our apartment lease is up, so we're saving like crazy for that, and his dad is going to help us with our downpayment. 

I had thought we should have the wedding a year later, but everyone tells me I can't wait that long!  Several of my coworkers are just SHOCKED I would put it off that long.  And the they tell me to elope.

Is it selfish to do a destination wedding where only our parents and maybe siblings would be present and do a reception when we get home?  Or do we need to share the actual ceremony with our family and friends?  Especially confused about what to do because if we have a ceremony and reception in this area, we can't really afford to take a honeymoon for a while. 

Kind of a long rant, sorry, but I really don't know where to go with planning now.  =)
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Re: Confused

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    breleficentbreleficent
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    edited December 2011
    I think you need to do whatever is best for you and your FI...and of course what YOU BOTH want. Don't listen to anyone else. If you want to put off the wedding for 2,3, or 4 years...you can! It is your wedding and your life. My FI and I have had a long engagement. We got engaged in 2008 and are getting married next year. I find the people that usually say something are either old or they have shiity relationships. Just being honest. lol.

    Before this board died down there were 2 other girls on here that had 2 year engagements as well.

    No, I don't think it is selfish to have a DW. Do what you want! You can always have a little bbq reception when you get home that you can invite all of your friends and family that couldn't make it to the wedding. Furthermore, you can always do a honeymoon close...like Vegas or drive up PCH to NorCal. You could even just go to Laguna.

    P.S. My mom is a realtor if you need one ;)

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    lauralazerlauralazer member
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you.  =) 

    I told him to think about what he wants, since I can see us doing both. 

    I was really surprised that everyone thought it was such a long engagement, it's less than 2 years?  But the people who were suprised have been married a long time.  One of the doctors at my work is only 31, but she's been married for 10 years and had a six month engagement or something like that.

    Your mom is a realtor?  I was just thinking I need to get one, but I told Jeff I wouldn't look for a house for a few months.  =)  I think buying a house is a little higher on our priority list than the wedding. 

    Lots of time to plan my DIY projects if we have a wedding here!

    Any ideas on wedding ceremony venues in the Murrieta area?  I think I might have found a free reception area in Menifee....
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    june112011bridejune112011bride member
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    edited December 2011
    Who cares what people think! I've been engaged for over a year, and I'm getting married in 11 months.  Everytime people would say "why are you waiting so long?" I would just respond "because I want to" plain and simple =) I went back and forth between a DW and a local wedding for a long time too, but ultimately decided on a local wedding only because I would want to have a reception for my guests who couldn't make it and it would have ended up being almost the same price so I figured I should just do one here and have everyone there! But its entirely up to you.  You don't have to worry about setting an exact date yet so you can really think over what you and your fiance want.  Think about the people who you absolutely want to be there and if they can make a DW then go for it. Where is your reception area in Menifee? I'm getting married at a church in Murrieta but I'm not really sure about just ceremony sites in the area.
    Can't wait to marry my Prince Charming
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    breleficentbreleficent
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, she is a realtor. If/when you need one just let me know. She actually helped another knottie try to find a house a while back =)

    Free reception area in Menifee? Where!?

    As far as just ceremony venues in Murrieta...any church (if you are religious) or a nice park? I know Murrieta is full of parks.

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    lauralazerlauralazer member
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    edited December 2011
    The community center at Heritage Lake.  My cousin and a coworker both live there and offered to book it for me.  I'm checking it out this weekend, so I'll know for sure.  It's right on a lake.  This would really cut down on my stress level if it works out.  I have soo long and already losing sleep.  It's ridiculous.  =)

    Have you found a reception site yet?  Which church are you using?

    I'm going to steal your "because I want to" line.  One of the things that makes me NOT want a local wedding is some of his family is traveling from the east coast, so I with such a limited budget, I don't feel like the event will be nice enough for them to bother.  Which is ridiculous since the event is their family member getting married, not the dinner. 
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    lauralazerlauralazer member
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    edited December 2011
    I will definetly let you know when I need a realtor!  I had no idea how to choose one.
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    breleficentbreleficent
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-inland-empire_confused?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:69Discussion:0c0bbb84-4d31-4d82-9446-46e5fdbd5cb5Post:f3bb3cb3-94f3-42c8-a3a6-0b52c119afd3">Re: Confused</a>:
    [QUOTE]The community center at Heritage Lake.  My cousin and a coworker both live there and offered to book it for me.  I'm checking it out this weekend, so I'll know for sure.  It's right on a lake.[/QUOTE]
     
    NICE!! I say go for it. I'm sure it is nice. Heritage Lakes is nice little community!

    [QUOTE]Have you found a reception site yet?  Which church are you using?[/QUOTE]

    Yes, we have a ceremony and reception site. Both the ceremony and reception will be at Seven Degrees in Laguna Beach. It is an art studio. I have pictures in my bio...click on "It's a nice day for a white wedding" and go under "Venue."

    [QUOTE]One of the things that makes me NOT want a local wedding is some of his family is traveling from the east coast, so I with such a limited budget, I don't feel like the event will be nice enough for them to bother.  Which is ridiculous since the event is their family member getting married, not the dinner. 
    Posted by lauralazer[/QUOTE]

    Aw! Don't feel that way! Unless they are truly horrible people I doubt they will think that! A marriage is about two people joining lives...not about the lovely chicken or fish dish being served.

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    lauralazerlauralazer member
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    edited December 2011
    Ooh!  That's a really nice looking location!  Do they do catering, too?  Or did you have to find someone else for that?


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    breleficentbreleficent
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah, they do catering. You have to use their caterer. Which is ok because you do get a lot for the money. I just wish they would let us bring in our own alcohol. They totally screw people on the bar prices!

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    Cole&EricCole&Eric member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you need any help in the Murrieta, Temecula, Lake Elsinor area let me know, I can point you a few directions, I own a wedding planning business and I never hesitate to help out a fellow "Knot" member (no charge)
    ~Feels like home to me~
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    amyweetheeamyweethee member
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    edited December 2011
    Elope...weddings are so expensive
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    desi2002desi2002 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I say do whats best for you. I think a DW and a home ceremony sounds like a great idea. I would rather buy a house than have a wedding!
    BabyFruit Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic me and my daddy
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    lauralazerlauralazer member
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    edited December 2011
    I think we decided to do a real wedding (cheaply of course) and buy a house too. 

    So we checked out the Heritage Lakes community center and got info.  Turns out it's not free, it would be about $300 and you have to clean the place and empty it all out by midnight.  Not sure how we're going to find someone willing to do that for us, cuz I know we're sure not going to want to clean right after our wedding reception.  =) 

    Cole&Eric, if you have any suggestions on the lowest priced places in the area, I would definetly appreciate them!!
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