Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?

ShaylinClair · August 2010

Hi, I haven't been able to find the answer to this on any of the boards....it's regarding thank you card etiquette. Should we still send a thank you card (Thank you for coming to our Wedding) if we didn't receive a gift from the person or couple? I'm not sure what to do in this case.

Thanks!

jagore08 · August 2010

I think you can go either way one this.

flutgrl1 · August 2010

Um their full stomachs were the thank you!

gottahavashorti · August 2010

I guess you can if you want, but it seems kind of redundant to me since the main purpose of a reception is to thank your guests for attending the wedding.

SaraAndrew2010 · August 2010

I wouldn't. Sending a thank you card for attending when they didn't give you a gift could be interpreted as you reminding them that they didn't give a gift and you fishing for a present. Technically they have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift, so you may still end up receiving one.

BlueBoxBride · August 2010

^ I agree.

I think a short email, "Hey *****, It was great having you at our wedding. We really enjoyed seeing you!" should suffice.

tldh · August 2010

If they came from out of town and incurred travel and hotel expenses, I would definitely send them a thank you. Sorry, but feeding them at the reception is not a thank you in this case.

SparrowSong · August 2010

I would.

I'm humbled when anyone takes a day out of their busy lives for the purpose of celebrating an event in my life. Truly.

kityjane2 · August 2010

I would send a Thank you anyways. My family would be horridfied if they took the time to come to my wedding, and I couldn't take 2 minutes and 44 Cents to write them a short thank you.

Karen's MOH · August 2010

I would as well. I'd also leave it to the end of the thank yous just in case they send something later, but if you haven't gotten anything within 1-2 months after the wedding, and nice Thank you so much for coming note would be fine.

Everyone is traveling to my wedding so most will have travel and hotel expenses, so a thank you is still appropriate.

KevinMegan1008 · August 2010

I have some guests traveling & I seriously feel humbled that they would pay for plane tickets, hotels, etc for my wedding. I would definetly send Thank-you's to these people. I just think this can go both ways for other guests though. They couldn't take 1 dollar and 30 seconds to at least give you a congratulations card??? I know everyone doesn't have the finances that other people do but even a card would be nice.

pnutkitten · August 2010

I think that I would send one to everyone who showed up, even if they didnt bring a gift. I would want them to know that I appreciated them being there.

Noellesmama · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_should-still-send-thank-card-there-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6b55cfaa-e7b5-4f48-9263-2100d0754150Post:0828ceb0-a827-41bb-81fe-a56f5531e2f0">Re: Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't. <strong> Sending a thank you card for attending when they didn't give you a gift could be interpreted as you reminding them that they didn't give a gift and you fishing for a present.</strong> Technically they have up to a year after the wedding to send a gift, so you may still end up receiving one.
Posted by SaraAndrew2010[/QUOTE]

How can sending a thank you for coming to a wedding be interepreted as "fishing" for a gift?

Call, me crazy but as a guest I would appreciate a thank you regardless... that's not saying that I would go to a wedding and not give the bride and groom a gift either.

But either way OP I would write the thank you note... :)

526SadieSadie · August 2010

According to Emily Post, they have a year to send a gift.

A stamp only costs 44 cents, send them a thank you card.

C*Mia · August 2010

This question is kind of confusing to me. They took a day out of their lives to come and spend it with you and your family & friends to celebrate your wedding. With the economy the way it is (not saying that I know their or your situation) its nice that they even came. Weddings aren't about gifts. They deserve a thank you card regardless. You decided to invite them and essentially buy them dinner they didn't ask to be invited.

Knottie56296520 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_should-still-send-thank-card-there-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6b55cfaa-e7b5-4f48-9263-2100d0754150Post:9665aa9b-e17f-4517-a1f2-a0e7943c2ffe">Re: Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]I would. I'm humbled when anyone takes a day out of their busy lives for the purpose of celebrating an event in my life. Truly.
Posted by SparrowSong[/QUOTE]

Ditto this.

jennylove810 · August 2010

*shrug* I wouldn't.

They come to my wedding, and they're spending all night eating and drinking on my dime. That's how I'm thanking them.

Noellesmama · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_should-still-send-thank-card-there-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6b55cfaa-e7b5-4f48-9263-2100d0754150Post:27a04b1e-87e7-4589-99a1-d29c1c0e76fb">Re: Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]This question is kind of confusing to me. They took a day out of their lives to come and spend it with you and your family & friends to celebrate your wedding. With the economy the way it is (not saying that I know their or your situation) its nice that they even came. <strong>Weddings aren't about gifts</strong>. They deserve a thank you card regardless. You decided to invite them and essentially buy them dinner they didn't ask to be invited.
Posted by C*Mia[/QUOTE]

They aren't? Well cr@p...then why am I getting married?

msdizzy4u · August 2010

I think with ANY one of these message boards, these questions are relative to the couple, the location and the type of guests you are inviting. I personally am the type to send a thank you card if someone just came to visit me. So I will be sending thank you cards just for attending, but especially for bringing a gift. If that is the type of person you are, then do it. Everyone likes to get mail that is not a bill! (lol) If you aren't a sentimental kind of person, then your guests know you and probably won't expect one if they didn't bring a gift. On the other hand, if you are asking what is ettiquette, then that is a whole different story and I'd imagine the responses from big cities probably have that ettiquette right on target. Do you want to do what feels right or what other people say is right?

kelle017 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_should-still-send-thank-card-there-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6b55cfaa-e7b5-4f48-9263-2100d0754150Post:85c2127a-9e20-49b0-aba2-446a89604a4a">Re: Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]*shrug* I wouldn't. They come to my wedding, and they're spending all night eating and drinking on my dime. That's how I'm thanking them.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

Maybe it makes me a person with bad manners, but I agree with this. Then again all my family lives close by and I know more than half of them will show up with no gifts (they are just those kind of people). So I expect that.

balasj · August 2010

I can appreciate both trains of thought that seem to be present in the responses and am a little torn. However, there is also the possibility that they sent a gift and it got lost etc...

Perhaps save this thank you card it until last and the consider sending one just saying "it was wonderful seeing you, I'm so glad you could celebrate with us." If they had intended to send a gift then they'll know it has not arrived. And if they considered that their travel, hotel etc costs to join you on your special day was all that was in their budget then that's that and I don't quite think you'd be fishing for a gift.

Xan921 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_should-still-send-thank-card-there-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:6b55cfaa-e7b5-4f48-9263-2100d0754150Post:85c2127a-9e20-49b0-aba2-446a89604a4a">Re: Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?</a>:
[QUOTE]*shrug* I wouldn't. They come to my wedding, and they're spending all night eating and drinking on my dime. That's how I'm thanking them.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. My FI's sister came to my bridal shower and didn't bring a gift, or even a card for that matter. So I didn't feel like I needed to send her a thank you card for just showing up. I thanked her at the shower for coming and that was enough. I plan to do the same thing with my wedding. If we receive a gift, we'll send a thank you. If we do not, then the 'thank you' we give them at the wedding will be plenty.

Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?

Re: Should we still send a thank you card if there was no gift?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards