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How much is too much to attend someone else's destination wedding?

LittleMissMayLittleMissMay member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
My friend recently got engaged and decided on a destination wedding. The prices have recently jumped incredibly and she thinks they'll go down after the summer. The overall travel/accommodation cost is so expensive, my husband and I have already decided there's no way both of us could attend. I'm in the wedding party so I feel obligated to support her choice of wedding. She picked a resort that is $400/night (3 night minimum stay). Just for the airline and accommodation for a 4-day trip (at the current rate), I'm looking at nearly $2000. This amount doesn't even include what I'll be paying for my dress and her shower/bachelorette. I'm not familiar with destination weddings and would appreciate any thoughts on how much other people may have paid/expected their wedding party to pay for a destination wedding.
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Re: How much is too much to attend someone else's destination wedding?

  • tldhtldh member
    First Comment
    Too much is what you cannot afford or more than you are willing to pay.  I spent about $2000 for my friend's DW in Ireland but I only did it because I'd never been there before and really wanted to go.  I was there for 10 days.

    I will admit to expecting the B&G to help out at least with the airfare since I was the best woman (there were only two of us in the WP and the bride's parents paid for her sister/MOH's expenses) but that didn't happen.  I did have two nights free because they'd rented out the castle in which they were married but the rest of the time I stayed in B&Bs.

    So, bottom line - if you think it's too much, it is.  Tell her now that you won't be able to swing the costs.
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  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I would look into other ways to cut down the cost.  You don't have to stay at the resort she is staying at, IMO.  If that's the only option around, then yes, I think it's safe for you to tell her that you cannot afford to come to the wedding.  It can be heartbreaking, I know, but when people decide to have a DW they should be willing to understand that not everyone will be able to afford to come. 
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