Pre-wedding Parties

need game ideas for stag & doe party

My fiance & I are doing what is called a Stag & Doe party ( its a more laid back version of a jack & jill plus we sell tickets for it) and we are planning it for august at the bbq restaurant i work at. we will have it outside under a large tent and i am looking for fun games! we are both young and dont want corny games..we want fun ones :)

Re: need game ideas for stag & doe party

  • edited December 2011
    Is this like a fundraiser?
  • edited December 2011
    yes my fiance is in the army and will just be returning home from training for 4 months so money is very tight so we are trying to come up with fun, not pushy, money making game ideas
  • trix1223trix1223
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    edited December 2011
    How about skip the fundraiser, and host the wedding you can afford on your own?

    A hearty good luck to you.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    my father is paying for our wedding and we are doing all the side things, like photog, limos, dj, etc. and a its not a fundraiser its exactly like a stag party except for the both of us
  • McKenna2012McKenna2012
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    edited December 2011
    Are they common in your circle?  If not people may not support it.  If so, what kind of games have you seen done at the ones you have attended?
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: need game ideas for stag & doe party:
    yes my fiance is in the army and will just be returning home from training for 4 months so money is very tight so we are trying to come up with fun, not pushy, money making game ideas
    Posted by Kayjjec3
    I don't have anything to offer on that front.  Good luck with your planning!
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
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    edited December 2011
    Retread - my thoughts exactly.

    Kayjjec, all I have to say is good luck to both of you.
                
  • edited December 2011
    what is the difference if we do this or seperate stag and bridal shower? they are still giving us money/ gifts no matter what i figure this would save them money and time.. they would only have to attend one party
  • twilight.rosetwilight.rose
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: need game ideas for stag & doe party:
    what is the difference if we do this or seperate stag and bridal shower? they are still giving us money/ gifts no matter what i figure this would save them money and time.. they would only have to attend one party
    Posted by Kayjjec3
    The difference is that you are selling tickets, which makes the event, essentially, a raffle/fundraiser. If someone offers to throw you a bridal shower, the idea is for the ladies invited to purchase items from your registry for you to begin your new life, not to purchase event tickets so you can simply have the money to pay for wedding costs. It's rude to tell your guests what gift to purchase for you, and in this case, you're essentially forcing them to give you cash gifts by buying a ticket instead of a physical gift, which some of them may prefer.

    I've never heard of a stag party involving gifts. I've always heard the term used interchangeably with bachelor party, though that could be a regional difference, I suppose.

    Furthermore, it's in very poor taste for you and your FI to host your own bach parties. Best of luck to you.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to need game ideas for stag & doe party:
    My fiance & I are doing what is called a Stag & Doe party ( its a more laid back version of a jack & jill plus we sell tickets for it) and we are planning it for august at the bbq restaurant i work at. we will have it outside under a large tent and i am looking for fun games! we are both young and dont want corny games..we want fun ones :)
    Posted by Kayjjec3
    Sounds like a carnival to me.  Is this common in your social circle? I'm with PP, plan the wedding you can afford.  Having a "fundraiser" is a bit inappropriate unless this is common where you live.  Meaning more than two people you know IRL have done this.

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  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    Ditto pp's plan the wedding that you can afford. DH and I paid for most of our wedding and HM ourselves and didn't have a fundraiser party where tickets were sold to help raise money for it. We did what we could afford to do, and trust me money was tight that entire time. Now we're trying to build a house, and again money is very tight while saving for this, but we're doing it ourselves by cutting back on things to save up.

    Has anyone offered to throw you a bridal shower? If so, then you should take them up on their offer and cancel this stag and doe party that you and your FI are planning yourselves. Pre-wedding parties are hosted on your behalf and are a gift, it's very tacky to throw your own pre-wedding party especially if you're receiving gifts or money. You're essentially throwing a party in honor of yourselves where guests are expected to bring you gifts and/or spend money on the party.

    If no one ends up offering to throw you a bridal shower or a bachelorette party then you just don't have one. Not everyone has them, and some people decline the offers. You'll still be just as married after your wedding without these parties. Usually the bridal shower is thrown to help you start your new home with registry gifts such as kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and other household items not to help you pay for your wedding.
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: need game ideas for stag & doe party:
    what is the difference if we do this or seperate stag and bridal shower? they are still giving us money/ gifts no matter what i figure this would save them money and time.. they would only have to attend one party
    Posted by Kayjjec3
    There is no difference. It's rude to sell tickets for a fundraiser for your wedding/honeymoon/home. It doesn't matter if you call it a stag,stag and doe, jack and jill or write 'cash gifts preferred' in the shower invitations. You should not be soliciting your loved ones for money. And you should not be hosting your own shower.
                
  • Dalilah23Dalilah23
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Kayjjec3 you have a PM
  • edited December 2011
    Kayjjec,

    I think a Jack & Jill/Stag & Doe is a great idea. My fiance and I have been to a few and always have a great time-much more fun than a bridal shower. We are also planning on one instead of a shower so all our friends and family can come, not just the girls. It is becoming much more popular for younger couples (and I dont know if this makes a difference but I live in the New England area) and to me bridal showers and expensive registries seem to be a bit old-fashioned. At first, my mom was upset when we told I didnt want an awkward bridal shower where I have to sit awkwardly in front of everyone for over an hour opening a bunch of gifts I probably wont use more than once in my life (my fiance and I have lived in an apt together for over 2 years), but she actually went to her first Jack & Jill a while back and then understood were i came from completely.

    In my experience, you actually spend less money going to a Jack & Jill, so I think it would be very rude if your guests were opposed to going. And like I said, I think they are more fun having everyone important in your life their, not just the women. Afterall, the point of a bridal shower is to give you things you NEED. If a registery is unneccessary and what you need is money to make your wedding/honeymoon all that you want it to be, your friends and family should want to give that to you. The amount of money spent is the same, whether they give it to you as  a "personally hand-picked" registry gift or just plain cash. Bridal showers are good for some people, but definitely not everyone, especially most modern couple who already have lived together for a while before getting married.

    As for fun and games...Some of these are cheesy but o well..
    -blindfold the bride and have the groom and his guys take off their shirts-she has to know which guy is hers.
    -Ask the bride and groom questions about their eachother's likes/dislikes etc and have them answer on a whiteboard and reveal the answers at the same time-whoever answers more right win. Guests pick sides and cheer on.
    -Create and Advise Book that is passed around/kept at a certain place throughout the night where guests have the opportunity to write advice for you two--funny or serious.

    We wont have tickets sold for ours however we will be doing raffles instead to raise money and keep the guests having fun and entertained. Good things to raffle are all types of baskets (alcohol baskets for your young friends, apples/jam/cooking things for the older guests, candy/food for everyone),  sports/concert tickets (for the guys), and giftcards (which everyone loves). Use your connections to get people to donate what they can to you and youll probably come up with more than you think. This is a good idea in case you do think anyone would be offended by having to buy tickets to attend.

    I am so for Jack and Jills/Stag and Doe parties! Good luck! Im sure everyone will have a blast :)
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  • gupsmomgupsmom
    10 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Sounds like I'd be buying a ticket for this joint party and then giving you more money while i'm there; after that getting an invite to your wedding and you as a couple expect me to buy a gift?  WOW, I want the dream world you live in. 

    Have you honestly considered how insulting this is to brides, grooms & families that scrape, scrimp and save for a year or more to pay for their wedding? 

    Guess what, we are paying for our own wedding & reception and everything that goes wtih.   AND we requested on our invites **NO GIFTS**  Gasp!!   Our wedding is something we want to share with our family & friends and we want nothing in return.  Seems like your way out of the box with your Stag/Doe party, looks like your wanting a "free" wedding.
  • edited December 2011
    CaseyHaynes,
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart for FINALLY giving me some positive feedback! all of our family and friends think it sounds like a fun and wonderful time, and you are right, i will SAVE our guests money and a trip! we are also a young couple and with his army career its hard to find a time to get our families together so this will be a great for it! this is a perfect party for young couples trying to entertain everyone of all ages. bridal showers are not my thing either! all of them i have ever attended were boring and awkward and all of our family & friends are a close and outgoing group and i do not think even one of our guests will be offended about this idea! i love all your game ideas and my fiancee thinks they sound fun too! once again, thank you soooo much for being supportive!
  • edited December 2011
    please stop commenting on my post if you are just going to be negative it is rude, as the saying goes, if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all!
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  • edited December 2011
    Pfft, of course, the OP makes a post about an atrocious idea, people call her on it, and she listens to the ONE person (also a newb) who thinks it's a good idea. You don't CHARGE ADMISSION to a freakin' wedding party, OMG. Why don't you understand that that is not appropriate? I've been to showers in the past, where people only brought a card for the bride, NOT cash, NOT an expensive gift, JUST a card with heartfelt words of congratulations. And guess what, that was just fine, because the bride realized that they were friends and loved ones, not cash cows. Nobody is EVER required to give you a gift to celebrate a special occasion with you, and if you think they are, then you need to do some serious re-evaluating of yourself and your priorities.

    Oh, and no, people aren't going to just stop posting in "your thread" just because you don't like what they have to say. You posted asking for advice and people told you that your idea is atrocious, which it is. Nobody here is required to patronize you or reinforce your ideas, and they're not going to.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: need game ideas for stag & doe party:
    please stop commenting on my post if you are just going to be negative it is rude, as the saying goes, if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say it at all!
    Posted by Kayjjec3
    You got one person out of 20 validating your rude idea, so of course you went with that. 

    Also, you can't tell us how to post.  People were trying to tell you that your idea is rude.  You're just not listening.

    Best of luck though!
  • southofnormalsouthofnormal
    100 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    I'm rather speechless. This is just about the tackiest thing I have ever read. Ridiculous.
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  • kmmssgkmmssg
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    edited December 2011
    I caught wind of this "wonderful" idea on a forum when my first DD was getting married in 2005.  I called her and explained the idea behind the whole thing and told her I would be deeply disappointed if they had anything like that in mind.  Her response?  "Geez, Mom.  Give me a little credit!  that is a horrible idea and I wouldn't treat my friends and family like that!  I've never heard of such a thing!"

    You got one post on here encouraging you on this - from another bride doing exactly the same thing.  Everyone else has told you what a poor idea this is.  Take the hint.
  • edited December 2011
    I just think you are all being so rude... Her post was for game ideas for a stage & doe, not for everyone's nasty opinions on whether or not she should have one.
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  • trix1223trix1223
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: need game ideas for stag & doe party:
    I just think you are all being so rude... Her post was for game ideas for a stage & doe, not for everyone's nasty opinions on whether or not she should have one.
    Posted by caseyhaynes429
    Sorry sweets, but when you put a question out on a public message board, people will respond with both suggestions and with advice.  She got both:  the suggestion that she not do this, and the advice that it's in poor taste.  What she didn't get, well except for one response, was blind validation for a idea that will potentially offend some friends and family

    But a hearty good luck to YOU, Casey!
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited December 2011
    Oh yes, the OP wants to charge her friends and family admission to a party that the bride and groom aren't supposed to be throwing anyway, and WE'RE the ones being rude. How's life in backwardsland working out for you?

    If I choose to give someone a gift, I will decide what they are given, and when someone tells me what they think I should be spending my hard earned cash on as a GIFT to them, it makes me have second thoughts as to whether I want to give them anything at all. And if someone I knew was disgusting enough to throw a shower for themselves that I had to PAY THEM MONEY to attend, not only would I not be attending, but I would also be seriously re-evaluating my relationship with that person. A gift is not mandatory for ANY reason, period. If someone wants to give you a gift then it is THEIR perogative to decide what to give and how much they want to spend. If you look at your friends and loved ones and see dollar signs just because your precious self is getting married, then you need to get a reality check.

    As for me, I don't expect ANYBODY to give me a single thing as a gift for my wedding, and I don't feel like I'm entitled to anything. Not because I don't think people are generous or that they won't want to give me gifts, but because I value the people I invited to witness my MARRIAGE VOWS more than I value material crap or money. If people give me gifts, I will graciously accept them; if they don't, then I will thank them for coming and spending my most special of days with me and my FI. If you can't understand that, well, it sounds like you have some growing up to do before you get married.
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  • edited December 2011
    I'm going to play devil's advocate here for a moment.  While I 1000% agree that stag & does are in poor taste and you should only plan the wedding you and your FI can afford on your own without outside help, I can sort of understand why you want to have this kinf od party OP.  If they are common in your area (these events are very regional) or your circle of friends, and this is what you feel you need to do, then go for it.  Obviously if it's expected in your circle then no one is going to find it rude and if they do, then they have the choice to not attend.

    In my hometown, these events are extremely common, to the point that I still get invites to them from friends planning their weddings even though I moved 2000 miles across country.  It's definitely NMS, I didn't have one the first time I got married (and payed for the wedding 90% by myself, and for under $3000) and won't have one this time, but to each teir own.

    Most of the ones I attended had raffles and/or 50/50 draws and silent auctions, and the only money making "game" I remember is a "loonie drop" (a quarter will work if you are in the States).  Participants stand over a quart liqour bottle and try to drop a coin into the mouth of the bottle.  If they get it in, they get a free bar shot and another chance to drop a coin, but they get harder each successful try (hand over one eye, stand on one foot, backwards drop, toss in from a distance, etc.)

    However, I would NOT suggest you try to identify your FI from his topless GM's while blindfolded, that's just...weird.
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  • mightyoakesmightyoakes
    10 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    Wow. I wouldn't even contemplate doing this let alone DO it.

    Another thing that just gets me about this - just because your FI is in the military doesn't mean he is lacking a paycheck. I was in the Navy for 6 years, I work with veterans everyday and military does not equate to poor. It is like your taking advantage of his military service to pull on the heart strings of the guests to buy these "tickets" to attend a really tacky party (blindfold and feel other men's chests? MY fi might call off the wedding over this stunt! Why is this necessary?)

    The focus should be on the love between you and your FI NOT, making money.

    Also, I agree, you put it out here for all the world to see and asked our opinion - well you got it. Minus one other taste-less person, I think you need to re-think this.
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