oops

mhneubauer · February 2010

Oops!

gailpete · February 2010

It has only been a week, I'd do as she asked and give her a little time to adjust. Even though I knew the engagement was coming, and I am thrilled they are engaged, I still needed a little time to adjust to the reality.

You have time, so let her take the lead and arrange the dinner as she requested on her schedule. It is the bride's parents perogative to host the "meet the inlaws dinner".

duckie1905 · March 2010

Is is possible that even though your parents like your FI that your mom is having a hard time dealing with the fact that her daughter is getting married? My mom and I are very close and she had her moments of realization that I would be getting married and starting a life of my own that were pretty difficult for her to deal with. Not that I wasn't on my own before but getting married was a whole other ballgame to her.

Just give her some time to adjust. She probably has many conflicting feelings regarding her little girl getting married. You didn't say anything that would indicate that she's mad or angry or hurt by your engagement so it really sounds like all she needs is some time to deal.

Weddings are often happy occasions but they can also be very sad or bittersweet occasions for one of both of the parents as they come to realize the enormity of their children growing up.

As opposed to my dad who was so happy to pawn me off to DH that he threw a party after the wedding for all of his buddies in my old bedroom.

MairePoppy · March 2010

Congratulations on your engagement.
Your mom has already told you that she would like a month to get used to the idea. Let her have that time and see if it makes a difference. Give mom a little extra attention, maybe she will tell you what she is concerned about.
My husband also expected my daughter's fi to ask for his blessing when they got engaged. I let my daughter know and fi complied. We were apprehensive about it because DH can be a lot like your Dad. We were pleasantly surprised that he was very gracious to the extremely nervous fi. He 'brags' to his friends that fi is a very respectful man. This could also help your mom realize the engagement is official.

Muffin'sMom · March 2010

Give her a minute to adjust...even when you are happy. It is scary. All your baby's future is going to be tied up in one place, and so many go wrong, and I want her to live happily ever after, and if he hurts her I'll KILL him (even though I really like him).

trix1223 · March 2010

I'm a recent MOB here. Your mom has asked for a month. Give her the month. It may seem like an eternity for you, but why wouldn't you honor her request?

You haven't said whether you and your FI are both through with school. Whether you both have good jobs. Whether you have health insurance. Whether you have a place to live. Whether you have a plan for the future. Whether you're carrying a load of student and/or credit card debt. Where you're going to live after you're married-near to or far from your family.

You're young, and your mom may have all those questions and more on her mind. She wants what is best for you. Give her the time she's asked for. And know that whatever she's feeling, it's because she loves you and wants you to have a happy and solid future. GL

EHJL · March 2010

I'm also 22 (about to be 23). My mother did the same thing for a while afterward. It was to the point where it really upset me and I thought she didn't care about it. We were also very very close and she loves the guy. I finally asked her and she told me, she felt like she had raised me for twenty two years and now that some guy was here I was leaving her for him.

Once we actually started planning she got so much better. Now, she just talks about the wedding all day!

I'd give her some time and involve her is some planning. If it continues then talk to her.

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