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Said she'd give a gift...annnd nada (rant about flaky people)

BrittKnightBrittKnight
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in Registry and Gift Forum
I had my bridal shower over a month ago and my MOH gave people around 3 weeks notice to it.  One of my 'newer' friends (we're only friends b/c my FI works with her husband...I've only known them less than a year) rsvp'd yes.  On the day of (literally AS the shower began) she texts me she was sick and wouldn't be able to make it.  (Can't say I was completely surprised because 1- like I said we're not super close friends, and 2- many times she and her hubby have ditched us after plans were made...not saying she wasn't sick, but I just wasn't surprised she wouldnt be there.)

Like I said, we aren't that close of friends, so I wasn't really upset or anything by it too much.  She also texted me that she has my gift and will give it to me soon, and also wanted to treat me to lunch sometime.

The next day, my FI and I returned a grill of theirs.  She came to the door, appearing and sounding fine -although I guess you can get better in one day, who knows.  She also told me she 'ordered the gift and it should get here any day.'  So does that mean she had ordered a gift and it didn't get there in time, so she didn't want to go to the shower?  Like I said, everyone was given 3 weeks notice, that is usually plenty of time to get something delivered to you.   And even if she ordered it on the day of the shower, she defiinitely should've gotten it by now.

I think she is just brewing a big pile of BS.  I don't expect gifts but when you say you're gonna do something, do it!  Don't lie to me and say you're going to do/buy/whatever and then not live up to it.

And then the whole taking me out to lunch thing...?  I'm not great friends with her, so it'd be weird being like "Dude, when are you gonna take me out?"  I know she has been out of work for a long while, and I really wouldn't want her up on that pseudo-offer with her being out of work anyways.

This is just awkward and annoying at the same time.  Why do people say they're going to do something and not live up to it?  SHEESH!
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Re: Said she'd give a gift...annnd nada (rant about flaky people)

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you're not so close to her and wouldn't even want to go to lunch with her, then why was she invited to your shower?
    If she's been out of work, maybe she was short on cash and too embarrassed to show up for your shower without a gift in hand. You should just let this go.
                       
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    banana468banana468 member
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    I'm sort of confused.  If she's not a great friend why was she invited?

    Granted, it's not fun to deal with a flake, but I'm not a huge fan of having showers for the 'sorta' friends category.
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    SaraAndrew2010SaraAndrew2010 member
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    Agree with PPs that if you're not really friends with her, you shouldn't have invited her to the shower.  She may have decided to give you the gift at the wedding instead.  But honestly, just relax and stop worrying about whether or not she gets you a gift. 
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    mrsosgoodmrsosgood
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    You guys aren't great friends so I would just let it go, but you sound a bit gift grabby to me.
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    LuluP82LuluP82 member
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    Seriously, is this a joke?

    If she wants to take you to lunch, she'll call and ask you. She certainly doesn't have to! Even though she offered.

    Gift? She didn't have to get you one. Or go to your shower. Especially if you're not really friends.

    She probably said those things bc she's embarassed, since you're clearly expecting a gift.
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    MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Maybe she decided she did not want to give you a gift. That is her right. You don't know the reason, so let it go and stop whining about whether or not you got a gift from someone that you are "only friends b/c my FI works with her husband".

    Your posts makes you sound very greedy.  SHEESH!
    Mary Click here for my bio! image
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    quotequeenquotequeen member
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    There's no reason for it to be awkward or annoying if you just let it go and forget about it.
    Married 10/2/10
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    MVJP10MVJP10
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    Yeah let it go
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    Galaxy8227Galaxy8227
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    I would just drop it, you just sound really gift grabby right now. 
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    gottahavashortigottahavashorti member
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    I think you're overanalyzing this.  Some people are forgetful and others are known for being flaky.  It's been a month, it's time to let it go.
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
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    Your post makes me judge you.  You seem to only care that you get your gift and your lunch because of your shower.  Do you only care about gifts?

    If my (sorta!) friend missed my shower, I would certainly not hound her looking for my present or asking when my special lunch will take place.  She'll get it to me.  Or she won't.  What difference is it to you?  Because you want to open something and be special all over again? 

    Reread your post and think about your behavior.

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    noodle_oonoodle_oo member
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    You said she's been out of work for awhile:  my honest feeling is that she probably can't afford to get you a gift (or lunch) and I often find that people who can't are the ones who talk about it most in a way to over compensate.  She's trying to make it appear as if financially everythign is fine, when most likely it is not.

    My feeling: I agree with you that it sucks when someone says somethign like this and never follows through.  You'd rather she just never said it.  HOwever, I'd be more compassionate since it sounds like she's going through a tough time.  I'd never expect someone out of work to get me a gift.  Just realize it probably isn't coming and forget about it (if she does get you something, it will be a pleasant surprise).

    Also, your post does sound gift grabby, but I know what you mean.  Just let it go!
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    lovetothinkpinklovetothinkpink
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    Um, this woman should be writing a post about you.The attitude you are giving off in your post is not a good one.
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    dittmerbullard2010dittmerbullard2010 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_said-shed-give-giftannnd-nada-rant-flaky-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:23684004-389c-4c6a-a8d4-15be2d10f33fPost:531f0b26-57a3-41be-9b81-6b77e8abf226">Said she'd give a gift...annnd nada (rant about flaky people)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had my bridal shower over a month ago and my MOH gave people around 3 weeks notice to it.  One of my 'newer' friends (we're only friends b/c my FI works with her husband...I've only known them less than a year) rsvp'd yes.  On the day of (literally AS the shower began) she texts me she was sick and wouldn't be able to make it.  (Can't say I was completely surprised because 1- like I said we're not super close friends, and 2- many times she and her hubby have ditched us after plans were made...not saying she wasn't sick, but I just wasn't surprised she wouldnt be there.) Like I said, we aren't that close of friends, so I wasn't really upset or anything by it too much.  She also texted me that she has my gift and will give it to me soon, and also wanted to treat me to lunch sometime. The next day, my FI and I returned a grill of theirs.  She came to the door, appearing and sounding fine -although I guess you can get better in one day, who knows.  She also told me she 'ordered the gift and it should get here any day.'  So does that mean she had ordered a gift and it didn't get there in time, so she didn't want to go to the shower?  Like I said, everyone was given 3 weeks notice, that is usually plenty of time to get something delivered to you.   And even if she ordered it on the day of the shower, she defiinitely should've gotten it by now. I think she is just brewing a big pile of BS.  I don't expect gifts but when you say you're gonna do something, do it!  Don't lie to me and say you're going to do/buy/whatever and then not live up to it. And then the whole taking me out to lunch thing...?  I'm not great friends with her, so it'd be weird being like "Dude, when are you gonna take me out?"  I know she has been out of work for a long while, and I really wouldn't want her up on that pseudo-offer with her being out of work anyways. This is just awkward and annoying at the same time.  Why do people say they're going to do something and not live up to it?  SHEESH!
    Posted by BrittKnight[/QUOTE]


    Quoted, because this seems like the kind of post that might get deleted, since everybody is telling OP that she is wrong.

    My opinion? Get over it. She may or may not have gotten you a gift. You may or may not ever be asked to lunch. Either way, it's wrong to expect it, and wrong to even think about calling her on it.
    Amanda and Eric Gettin' married 10/10/10
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    BrittKnightBrittKnight
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    Wow, once again people overreact to a lousy post.  (yawn) These posts are supposed to HELP people, and GIVE opinions, not JUDGE.

    To answer some of your questions, she was invited b/c at the time I *thought* (I guess that's pretty dumb right??)  she was starting to be one of my friends...I had just met her a few months back thru my FI.  I was there for her for a lot of things she needed help w/ for her wedding and we get along well, so I thought it'd be nice to include her.  She's just not someone I've known for years or talk to all the time or whatever.  I guess that hasn't happened to any of you. 

    I'm not gift grabby.  Just when people say one thing, they should do it.  End of story.  But let me get this straight....according to you all, I should NEVER EXPECT anyone to make good on their word?  If someone says they're gonna take me out and never offer, I shouldn't get confused?  If someone says they'll watch my dogs, and never do, I shouldn't get upset?  You guys are amazing, forgiving Saints aren't you?  God bless you!  I'm guessing none of you had showers then...or maybe you did, but were shocked when you received gifts, right?  Of course!  You're all so heavenly.

    Okay, let me say this:  I don't want her stupid gift.  I just want people to not say BS things.  Can I get ONE person who agrees with me?  Your lives revolve around judging people on these posts, but never offering anything helpful. 

    And I am relaxed about it.  Honestly I'm not dwelling on it...I was just bored at work when I put it up.  Have a holier than though day!   :)

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    BrittKnightBrittKnight
    First Comment
    Ooops I was so irked I spelled 'thou' wrong....sorry guys!  Don't want you to chew my butt off on that too!
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    MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Blah, blah, blah.

    For someone who does not want to be judged, you seem to have no problem judging other people including your "friend".  Can't imagine why she would not want to attend your shower?
    Mary Click here for my bio! image
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    SineadHickeySineadHickey member
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    Even if she blatantly lied, you have no reason to be mad. Stop wondering "where's my gift?" You're not entitled to one, it doesn't matter.
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    alainn15alainn15 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_said-shed-give-giftannnd-nada-rant-flaky-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:23684004-389c-4c6a-a8d4-15be2d10f33fPost:0a8f12a0-93a8-4fb3-94fa-304bd68cd34b">Re: Said she'd give a gift...annnd nada (rant about flaky people)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Seriously, is this a joke? If she wants to take you to lunch, she'll call and ask you. She certainly doesn't have to! Even though she offered. Gift? She didn't have to get you one. Or go to your shower. Especially if you're not really friends. She probably said those things bc she's embarassed, since you're clearly expecting a gift.
    Posted by LuluP82[/QUOTE]

    All of this and so much more.
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