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Bridesmaid Selection

TriSaratops10TriSaratops10
Combo Breaker First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Hello! I'm new here (new in general as well :) ) - I have a question about whether or not I am obligated to have my future SIL be a BM - I am going to be a BM in her wedding that will be almost a year AFTER my wedding (hers is in May 2011, mine in Oct 2010).  I want a smallish wedding party (4 BM, 4 groomsmen) and already have thought who'd I'd like to have (very close, long-time friends).

My mom disagrees and thinks I won't be able to "keep the peace" if I don't ask her...

TIA!
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Re: Bridesmaid Selection

  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I usually err on the side of asking her.  She's going to be your family for a long, long, long time.  And it does send a pretty clear message to her if you don't choose her.

    It's ultimately your decision, but unless you absolutely detest this girl, I'd ask her.  If you have 5 on your side, and your FI has 4 on his side, that's just fine.  One lucky guy gets to escort two beautiful women.

    Really, will it hurt anything if you ask her?  Probably not.  But could it hurt if you don't?  It could cause unneeded drama and hurt feelings.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It is your wedding and you can ask who you want.  However I agree with Trix in that in the long run it might be worth having her.  


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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Listen to your mom and Trix. They are giving good advice.
                       
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  • TriSaratops10TriSaratops10
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies, all very sound advise - I had a feeling I was in the wrong - I guess I didn't really want to because my brother's engagement was very fast (less than 6 months dating his 1st gf) and I don't know her and my FI pointed out my brother didn't ask him to be a groomsmen - but I think you're right - not too much skin off my back if she's a BM but could be painful for years to come if I don't.

    Thanks!
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  • emmy82087emmy82087 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree, it's your wedding so you can do whatever you want!! If you only want 4 girls, then don't ask her.  She chose to have you in HER wedding, but definitely DONT feel obligated to ask her to be in yours!!
    Mrs. Emily Wolcott June 11, 2011 :)
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