Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion

130 guests for the bridal shower

sprtychick10sprtychick10
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
I am co-hosting a bridal shower for a friend and the guest list is right around 130. My draw dropped when I saw the list. She wants it to be a couples shower and invited people to the shower who she couldn't to the wedding. I know this isn't proper etiquette but I don't think it's my role to tell her this. 

What kind of food should we have but relatively cheap? I am thinking snacks, cookies, etc. TIA!

June 2012 December Siggy Challenge: Favorite Things about Christmas image
Follow Me on Pinterest
Planning Bio Updated 10/24/2011
Report Reply to Post

Re: 130 guests for the bridal shower

  • hjay07hjay07 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_130-guests-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:52cd2740-c52e-4818-92f2-df1723c130e2Post:ebe1c8e9-c732-463f-a45b-17b72825f4c9">130 guests for the bridal shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am co-hosting a bridal shower for a friend and the guest list is right around 130. My draw dropped when I saw the list. She wants it to be a couples shower and invited people to the shower who she couldn't to the wedding. I know this isn't proper etiquette but I don't think it's my role to tell her this.  What kind of food should we have but relatively cheap? I am thinking snacks, cookies, etc. TIA!
    Posted by sprtychick10[/QUOTE]

    Holy crap! 130?! Yipes... You're right that she shouldn't be inviting people who aren't invited to the wedding. I agree that it isn't your job to tell her...but I assume since you're throwing her a shower that she's a pretty good friend, so maybe she would take it okay coming from you? Definitely a tough situation.
    Since you're being generous enough to host the party though, I would say have it at an "off" time where people won't be expecting a meal and provide snacks. If you have GFS in your area, they have a lot of good bulk snack foods that you could make a nice spread out of for pretty cheap. Or Costco- Costco cakes are like $15, love them!
    Hope that helps, good luck!

     

    Report Reply
  • LoveMuffinsLoveMuffins member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    actually since you're co-hosting, what you need to do is get together with the other co-host and figure out your budget. and then you need to tell the bride - if you want the guest list to be 130 ppl, we can do a very nice punch and cookies shower for you. if you drop the guest list, we can do something with more food, etc. i would suggest dropping the people who aren't invited to the wedding anyway, since invited them only to the event where they're expected to bring a gift makes you look greedy and like you only want them there for the present, since they aren't invited to the wedding.
    Rocking the Dress with my Bestie
    image
    Vacation
    Married Bio
    Day Zero / Blog
    Report Reply
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Why can't you tell her?

    Let her know that you're not comfortable hosting an event for those not invited to the wedding.

    Or even better, tell the bride that you're only comfortable hosting X # of guests.
    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    As the shower host, you get to determine how many guests will be invited.

    As a friend, you would be doing the bride a favor by telling her it is rude to invite people to a shower who will not be invited to the wedding. If you were her, wouldn't you want to be told?
                       
    Report Reply
  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It's absolutely up to you to tell her.  First of all, you tell her how many people you can host, and she needs to trim her list accordingly.  Second, it's improper to invite people to prewedding parties that are not invited to the wedding, and doing so will reflect poorly on the hosts.  Tell her to give you a list of X people that are all invited to the wedding and you will invite them to the shower. 
    Report Reply
  • laurenkronenberglaurenkronenberg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell her it isn't appropriate at all to invite guests to the shower who will not be invited to the wedding. Having a couples shower is fine, but every single butt in the room should be invited to the wedding. If they are doing a small wedding, then guess what. They guet a small shower. End of story. Adding one extra person to the shower is rude, let alone how every many extra she added.
    And if you are good enough friends with her to host her shower, then you need to be good enough friends with her to tell her this information.  It will not go over well with guests, and I think once they realize in the future they were only invited to the gift giving part and not the actual celebration, she may find herself dealing with a bunch of unhappy people.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards