Wedding Woes

Sister wedding

I have been engaged now for over a year. My fiance and I wanted to enjoy being engaged so we decided to take our time and plan the wedding of our dreams! We have now had our date set for 10 months (Late June 2013) and identified my parent's cabin as our venu from the get-go.

Three days ago my sister got engaged. She told me that she was thinking that she wanted to have a simple backyard wedding which sounded great! I was so excited for her. Last night we went bridesmaid dress shopping for my wedding, while we were shopping she told me that she was hoping to get married this July - so it would be 4 weeks after mine. I couldn't help but be a little dissappointed. Then a few moments later she dropped the bomb that she also wanted to get married up at my parent's cabin.

So essentially, she would be getting married at the same venu, 4 weeks after my wedding.

 I want to talk to her about it without sounding like a brat, so any advice or thoughts would be so helpful

Re: Sister wedding

  • In Response to Sister copied wedding:
    I have been engaged now for over a year. My fiance and I wanted to enjoy being engaged so we decided to take our time and plan the wedding of our dreams! We have now had our date set for 10 months (Late June 2013) and identified my parent's cabin as our venu from the get-go. Three days ago my sister got engaged. She told me that she was thinking that she wanted to have a simple backyard wedding which sounded great! I was so excited for her. Last night we went bridesmaid dress shopping for my wedding, while we were shopping she told me that she was hoping to get married this July - so it would be 4 weeks after mine. I couldn't help but be a little dissappointed. Then a few moments later she dropped the bomb that she also wanted to get married up at my parent's cabin. So essentially, she would be getting married at the same venu, 4 weeks after my wedding. I can't help but feel like she has taken away the excitement surrounding my wedding, and that she has totally stolen my thunder. I want to talk to her about it without sounding like a brat, so any advice or thoughts would be so helpful
    Posted by jstudwell
    anything you say will sound bratty because it it. just congratulate her and move on with your life. 
  • WzzWzz
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
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    so what exactly do you want to say to her if you decide you can't take the torture of having your thunder stolen anymore?

    is it really "getting married at the same venue" when this is a cabin that belongs to your parents and you both probably have equal rights to it?

  • The key word in this is "after."
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  • DG1DG1
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
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    What they said. And it's "venue."

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  • Guess what?  If you picked a regular joe-schmo reception venue, another person would probably have her wedding the day before or after your wedding OR there could be more than one wedding going on AT THE SAME time if they have more than one event space.




  • Think of the big picture here.  Is it worth it to start drama -and it will, for sure - and maybe damage your relationship with your sister?  In 10 years are you going to care that your sister got married in the same place after you?

    Personally, I think it sounds like a cool story to be able to tell.

  • Sorry 'Venue', and it does not bother me in the least bit that she wants to have it at the cabin, its more the timing than anything. I just don't understand why it has to be right after.
  • WzzWzz
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    i think she is upset because her sister isn't waiting until after her wedding to plan for herself. the OP was engaged for over a year, and the sister is only engaged for 3 days. how dare she pull this crap! if she waited for a year, then the OP would get to have her cabin wedding of her dreams and then enjoy all the tunder she deserves for doing it right, NOT wrong like the 3-day-engaged sister.

    i mean really, is the sister even in love or is she doing it to annoy the OP?  ;)
  • WzzWzz
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    4 weeks is not right after. having it the same day, just as your ceremony is ending and hers is beginning, is right after.
  • Heck, I would have a double ceremony if it meant that my sister and I found the people we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with.

    I always think this is a woman in their 20's dilemma. After a certain point it just isn't that serious.
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  • That's what I'm saying, nola.

    Do you think you'll still be upset about this in a year?  5?  10?  Really think this through.

    I must also point out that your sister probably isn't living her life to make you mad.  What happens if she experiences other life events around the same time you do?  Pregnancies, vacations, buying a house, it's all stuff that happens in life.  Stop living like it's a competition and just enjoy your engagement.

  • WzzWzz
    2500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited January 2013
    an old acquaintence of mine was married on a cruise ship in a double wedding with her sister to make sure that they were able to spend all of that time and planning together, and to make it easier on their guests.

    apparently, they had a great time. their wedding was really short, maybe 20 minutes, and i think they had a 2 hour reception on the ship.

    while i understand that a double wedding isn't for everyone, i am not so sure i see why someone thinks their thunder is being stolen. why do people think their wedding and their ideas are so special and so unique that no one else will ever do things the same way and people will talk for years to come about how truly special this one wedding was?

    i only still talk about the hillbilly trash weddings.
  • Would you really expect her to push back her wedding just so your thunder wouldn't be stolen?  I'd just let this one go. 

    Plus, you have the opportunity to make your wedding so big & great that everyone is disappointed and sick of weddings by the time her wedding comes around!  Winning! Everyone knows weddings are a competition.
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  • Ok I think you solved my problem, I will just let it go and move on! Both weddings will be great!
  • aw, Op, I get why you feel that way. It's not "right" to, but we're all human and want things to go a certain way, and can be disappointed when they dont. Unfortunately it is just something you will have to let go of, bc bringing it up will cause more trouble than its worth
    Dreaming of our Hawaiian honeymoon! Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I still don't understand why you are mad if her wedding is going to be 4 weeks after yours.


    ::Maybe it's just me:::
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  • imagine what would happen if the sister got KU before the OP's wedding. . . or maybe she is, and that's why they're rushing it. 

    her fetus will get ALL OF THE THUNDER
  • The parents cabin being your "dream venue" when both you and your sister probably have had great memories at the place, has me scratching my head.
  • I think if she bought an identical gown and married the identical twin of your fiance, then you could be a little peeved (and totally creeped out)

    BUT

    Your wedding will be entirely different from hers because you're two different people. Even within the same venue, it can look and feel completely different. So don't sweat it.
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  • edited January 2013
    So, instead of being excited that you now have someone you can talk to about every tiny detail of your wedding, and who won't lose excitement because she has a shared interest in it, you're angry? Weddings aren't some kind of post apocolypse thunderdome where the person who garners the least attention loses. Bittnerness and selfishnesh ruins weddings far more effectively than having weddings a month apart. Get a grip, you don't own a month.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Anniversary

  • In Response to Re: Sister copied wedding:
    I think if she bought an identical gown and married the identical twin of your fiance, then you could be a little peeved (and totally creeped out) BUT Your wedding will be entirely different from hers because you're two different people. Even within the same venue, it can look and feel completely different. So don't sweat it.
    Posted by CourtaniaLynn
    I agree...you guys I'm sure will have different colors, theme's, (grooms!), etc...I understand your frustrations now, but give it a little time. Plus, at least she's not having the wedding BEFORE yours knowing all the time you wanted to put into the engagement!
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