Bridal Attendant??

annie2987 · March 2010

I am having 2 cousins be bridal attendants, and also my best friend. My friend keeps asking what exactly her job is since she will be the main attendant doing stuff. I'm not exactly sure what to tell her. Is there anybody out there that can give any ideas or advice in this? Any info would be a big help. Thanks!!

banana468 · March 2010

Are you having bridal attendants AND bridesmaids??

amagwire · March 2010

Bridal attendant? This is not OK. It sounds like you're making your friend be your assistant for the day and she gets no kind of 'honor' like a BM would. I would say tell her to just enjoy the day.

Mrs.B6302007 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-attendant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:08046737-3fd5-4b7f-a9d9-72b1f828adfcPost:a0f66b9e-fe01-4a48-b208-0ac3a779b6a6">Bridal Attendant??</a>:
[QUOTE]I am having 2 cousins be bridal attendants, and also my best friend. My friend keeps asking what exactly her job is since she will be the main attendant doing stuff. I'm not exactly sure what to tell her. Is there anybody out there that can give any ideas or advice in this? Any info would be a big help. Thanks!!
Posted by annie2987[/QUOTE]
Please define what you mean by bridal attendant.
Most of the time, unfortunately, brides mean personal attendants which is an awful idea. I'm hoping you mean bridesmaids as Banana asked.

stina93446 · March 2010

Ditto banana and Mrs. B. Do not make them work on your wedding day.

Pink7781 · March 2010

Ditto PPs, this is just a bad idea all around. Have them as bridesmaids if you want them involved or do a reading. Do not have them as your attendants.

suz62984 · March 2010

Well, if you are having BMs they get to relax and have a good ole time while she's your B*&^@!

JenPhil6212 · March 2010

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/bridal-party/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx

CTGirl30 · March 2010

JenPhil (and OP) - that list is generated by the Knot and pretty subjective...I'd take it with a grain of salt.

Most of the girls on this board subscribe to the school of thought that there aren't many "duties' that bridesmaids have to execute...and alot of the newbies seem to expect that their friends should absolutely be throwing them parties / attending every single pre-wedding event, tying favors or stuffing envelopes, attending bridal expos with the bride, and so on...and if they can't or aren't interested this somehow makes them a "bad bridesmaid" or "crappy friend."

OP, you might want to read Banana's sticky post up top (New Here?) - lots of helpful info in there, including her summary of Duties:

3) What are the wedding party duties?
Their official duties are to buy the dress and show up on the big day. That's it. Really. (no - you can't require that they pay for their hair and makeup - but they may want to pay for it as a fun pre-wedding thing. Be flexible.)

Now we all know that there are traditional elements to the roles of being a BM or MOH. However those are tasks that the BMs or MsOH take on their own. Please don't ask people to be in the wedding based on their ability to plan a party or give a speech. All of those things are traditional but they're a gift to you - just like that diamond you might be wearing on your left hand. If you're a BM or MOH, please think about a shower and bachelorette for your friend the bride if that's at all possible. They can be a ton of fun for you and her!

Basically, friends are more apt to want to help the bride out when the bride isn't demanding or acting like she's entitled to things. This is the case with most friendships, no? So don't put high demands on your bridesmaids or assign them "jobs" like standing aroudn monitoring the guest book just to come up with something for them to do. Her job is to be the friend she's always been to you, wear the agreed upon attire on the wedding day, and stand by you during the ceremony, and just enjoy this happy time with you. Anything else she wants to do is up to her.

Mrs.B6302007 · March 2010

and that list of BM duties was created by a wedding industry money-making-machine.

emilykathleen511 · March 2010

Don't trust for-profit entities for advice. This goes for just about any situation. I remember when I took Personal and Family Finance, our instructor was warning us all against people who claim to be financial planners or counselors who really work for a for-profit company and are just trying to sell you something. Anybody who works for a for-profit company is going to tell you whatever will get you to spend money on their products (in this case the knot will tell you whatever it takes so that you buy things from the folks who advertise through them).

Licia&Wayne · March 2010

ugh, please don't follow what TK says bridesmaids are supposed to do. They aren't your slaves, and it's not their job to help you host the reception, watch for toe-tappers to encourage them to dance and cater to your every junkfood need.

I'm not sure what you meant by attendant duties, but if she's asking what her "job" is, I would thank her profusely for her offer and ask her if there is something she would like to help with. But as far as assigning duties, just don't do it. It's no fun to head to a wedding to work.

banana468 · March 2010

Please don't go by any list of what BMs are supposed to do - or what ANY person is supposed to do.

If that's the case, please believe that you should follow the archaic rules that state a man requires daily oral servicing.

baystateapple · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-attendant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:08046737-3fd5-4b7f-a9d9-72b1f828adfcPost:c752e308-9cc2-476f-9895-0145c4ae51fb">Re: Bridal Attendant??</a>:
[QUOTE]Please don't go by any list of what BMs are supposed to do - or what ANY person is supposed to do. If that's the case, please believe that you should follow the archaic rules that state a man requires daily oral servicing.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

BAHAHAHAHAHA

banana468 · March 2010

And make sure you put on a fresh coat of lipstick before the man gets home and run a brush through your hair to freshen up. If possible, change from the clothing you were wearing all day. Your husband has a lot of stress in his life and doesn't need to see you looking worn out.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

And be sure to put the children away so that he will have some quiet. Of course, have his favorite drink and the evening paper waiting for him in the sitting room. He'll want to relax before dinner is served.

banana468 · March 2010

Exactly MyNameIsNot.

And don't discuss anything that evokes emotion. A true lady doesn't pester herself with pesky things like politics.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

There was one that someone posted on E a few weeks ago. It also went on about how you should never ask for sex, but always give it up when he wants it, and that you should wait until he goes to sleep before you get back up and take off your make up. You should also wake up an hour before him, because he should never see you with your hair/make up undone.

Now I wish I'd kept it.

banana468 · March 2010

Someone like that still believes this??

Ugh.

I wonder where she thinks a guy should be if his wife is in labor.

Bridal Attendant??

Re: Bridal Attendant??

Choose Another Board

Search Boards