female best man???

selambrix · November 2010

So my FI told me he finally picked a best man but he pick his friend whos a girl. I find it a little weird but I was just wondering if anyone else has any females being groomsmen?

mattycam · November 2010

I have heard on TK of people mix-matching groomsmen/bridesmaids. If you both are cool with it and your relationship with this girl is a good one (some women would have a problem with another woman as their FI "best man"), then go for it! It seems weird to you (and even me) to have a "Best Woman" because it's not what you usually see at a wedding but it's certainly not something that hasn't been done.

HobokensFury · November 2010

We're having a best woman and a man of honor. It's really just a title thing.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

DH had a female friend on his side, and I had my brother on mine. Mixed gender wedding parties are becoming increasingly common, and I firmly believe that a person should stand on the side of the person with whom they share the closest relationship, not the most similar anatomy.

tldh · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_female-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c531c7c5-d179-48d0-a4cd-52684faae70aPost:627dd31c-3826-49bf-a986-1852d3140ae6">female best man???</a>:
[QUOTE]So my FI told me he finally picked a best man but he pick his friend whos a girl. I find it a little weird but I was just wondering if anyone else has any females being groomsmen?
Posted by selambrix[/QUOTE]

I was the Best woman in my best friend's wedding. I also got written permisison in the London Times from the former head of protocol at Buckingham Palace who said, in response to my question of appropriateness, that he loves it when women take this role and there is nothing at all inappropriate about it.

aatkinson982 · November 2010

I was a best woman at my friends wedding! It should be who you stand for, not because you are the same sex. We made a few alterations to my outfit (I wore a skirt that was dressy, and a suit coat that I already owned. I also wore a very pretty silk shell like shirt that was the same color as the other men). I also walked down the isle with a girl, and everyone who knew how special our friendship was thought it was GREAT! People that didn't know the friendship we had just thought I was a lesbian. Really your wedding party should be who you choose, not what is normal!

selambrix · November 2010

I think I would just feel better if I knew her. Shes an old friend of his that doesn't live around here. She hasn't tried to get a hold of me to see about any of the details. We are getting married in October so I know we still have a bit of time I just don't want someone that backs out last mintue and I don't know if shes the type of person who would do that.

tldh · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_female-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:c531c7c5-d179-48d0-a4cd-52684faae70aPost:e2ef270d-6e4b-4f91-bcb7-762d7d3ac63f">Re: female best man???</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I would just feel better if I knew her. Shes an old friend of his that doesn't live around here. She hasn't tried to get a hold of me to see about any of the details. We are getting married in October so I know we still have a bit of time I just don't want someone that backs out last mintue and I don't know if shes the type of person who would do that.
Posted by selambrix[/QUOTE]

This is a BS reason. Sorry but it is. Your FI's side of the aisle is his business, not yours. It really sounds to me like you are insecure about him having a platonic female best friend. If you've never had an opposite gender BFF, it is understandable that you don't get that it's possible to be this close to someone without attraction ever coming into play. My BFF is a man, one of DH's BFFs (his wingman in the old days) is a woman. Neither of us ever saw the other BFF as anything other than that.

I had met my BFF's wife only once before the wedding. I never tried to contact her about the details. I talked to BFF about these things since I was his Best Woman.

aerinpegadrak · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_female-man?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:c531c7c5-d179-48d0-a4cd-52684faae70aPost:e2ef270d-6e4b-4f91-bcb7-762d7d3ac63f">Re: female best man???</a>:
[QUOTE]I think I would just feel better if I knew her. Shes an old friend of his that doesn't live around here. She hasn't tried to get a hold of me to see about any of the details. We are getting married in October so I know we still have a bit of time I just don't want someone that backs out last mintue and I don't know if shes the type of person who would do that.
Posted by selambrix[/QUOTE]
1) None of your attendants, regardless of gender or side, are obligated to do this.

2) This is kind of a cop out. I'm with Tricia, it sounds like you're just trying to come up with excuses to exclude her, and that's really not your call. Groom's side, groom's decision. Even if she does back out last minute, it's not a big deal, you just futz with the processional a little.

teetooshort · December 2010

I can kind of understand. I would HOPE that FI's best man would be there if needed. One of my bridesmaids is already disappointing me!! However, I was surprised who my FI chose as his BM. I thought it would be someone else, but ended up being a coworker he doesn't see often outside of work. But hey..whatever floats his boat. So let him decide. If she doesn't follow through, that's on him. He'll just be disappointed he didn't pick someone else as his BM. :shrug:

As to the gender thing...not a big deal. A little different yea...my friend was the B[W]M at her friend's wedding. I believe she wore a tux. and I just so happened to watch Sex and the City move 2! LOL Carry or carrie or whatever was the B[W]M!!!

female best man???

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